A 50/50 chance
Would you take those odds?
You’re probably saying, “a 50/50 chance of what?”
Let’s say, a coin toss.
You’d probably take those chances right?
How about a 50/50 chance of that girl or guy rejecting you?
If you’re confident in yourself, you’d ask them out.
Now, what about a 50/50 chance of not living to see your next birthday?
I know, I know, super morbid thought, but humor me and think about that for a second.
What if you were told you may not live another year, but at the same time you could walk away just fine.
It’s not an easy thing to consider if it’s not actually happening, right?
If you were put into a similar situation you’d likely do anything you could to raise your odds. Tip the scales in your favor.
Seems like the logical thing to do.
But what if you do everything possible and in the end it still doesn’t work out?
Was it worth all the effort or worry in the first place?
Or would you just assume the worst and do whatever you could to ensure the rest of your life was enjoyable?
The Movie that Brought the Morbid Question
50/50 is a 2011 film written by Will Reiser and directed by Jonathan Levine starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen.
In the movie, Gordon-Levitt’s character, Adam, is diagnosed with a rare form of spinal cancer known as schwannoma neurofibrosarcoma. Rolls off the tongue doesn’t it?
Adam is 27 and discovers the survival rate of this form of cancer is 50%; less than 10% if it spreads.
The film is all about his journey living this new life that he never asked for. You see just how much he changes from the diagnosis to the end of the movie.
I won’t go into any more specifics about the movie, so I highly suggest you check it out on Netflix. I do, however, want to talk about some of the underlying themes the movie discusses and see if what I learned can benefit others.
Lesson 1
It’s ok to not be fine all the time and it’s ok to ask for help.
Everyone is dealing with something they don’t want to be dealing with. They may not always show it, but there’s always something.
We all know the cliche, “You never truly know a person unless you take a walk in their shoes”, yeah yeah, I won’t get into that.
The film focuses more on knowing yourself and realizing you won’t always be fine or good or whatever other word you say in response to “How are you?”
And that’s ok.
We’re humans, we have emotions. We get sick. We get angry. We fall in love. It’s all natural no matter which emotion you’re experiencing.
I know it’s not always easy to admit to people that you’re not doing well. You may feel embarrassed, insecure, or whatever else you may feel. It may feel like you’re the only one feeling like this, but you’re not alone.
We’ve all dealt with these complex emotions bombarding or brains with chemicals. Some people experience them to a greater extent, but we can all relate in some way or another.
When you feel off, take a second to actually feel the emotions going on in your head. Don’t push it down and bury it. Understand what you’re feeling to the full extent.
Now ask yourself, “should I talk to someone about this?”
If your initial reaction is “yes”, don’t hesitate. Don’t feel as though you have to act like nothing’s wrong simply because you don’t want to bother someone or think they won’t understand what you’re going through.
Talking to people can help immensely.
I know I try my best to seek out my best friend whenever I’m feeling off at school or my mom whenever I’m home.
Sitting down and explaining what’s going on can help so much. Even if the other person doesn’t have a solution for you, simply putting it all out there can be lke lifting a weight off your shoulders.
I know it’s difficult to take that step. I’ve been there many times. Too afraid to ask for help and just being alone with my thoughts. It’s not a situation I want myself or anyone to be in.
I encourage you to take the step though. Realize you aren’t feeling like you should and find that person you can trust to listen without judgement. You’ll be glad you did.
Lesson 2
“You know if this surgery doesn’t work, it’s um, that’s it. And I’ve never, you know, I’ve never been to fucking Canada. I’ve never told a girl I loved her.”
Adam says this the night before his major surgery that could result in his dying if it isn’t successful.
I think this quote says it all.
It’s another cliche I guess, but I feel like no matter how many times we hear it, we never actually realize the truth of it or act on it as we probably should.
To me this line screams, “Life is so fucking short!” and so many of us fail to realize this until it’s too late.
Your life could very literally end at any time. God forbid, but seriously, think about it…
Adam was a healthy young guy who never smoked or drank or anything similar and yet a gene mutation put him in the hospital with cancer and a 50/50 chance of surviving.
Stuff like this happens every day and so many of us still believe, “that could never happen to me”. But you don’t really make that decision. Sure you can take all the steps to try and prevent life changing things from happening, but nature is the final decision maker.
There’s a stoic phrase I always think about, “momento mori” which translates to “remember you are going to die.”
It seems like a morbid thing to think about, but the stoics see it as a reminder to live. If we know we’re going to die, why do we waste time doing things we don’t want to when we should be doing everything we can to enjoy the short life we have on Earth?
In the end, no one wants to have regrets. Adam’s were not traveling more and not getting the chance to fall in love. No matter what they are, at a certain point, you won’t have the opportunity to do the things you’ve always wanted.
I think everyone should take the time to be alone and just think about some of the things they’d regret not doing if they were to leave right now.
For me it’s not traveling more, not pursuing some sort of acting, not falling in love, and wasting time worrying about things outside of my control.
It’s not always easy getting around to these things. There are a lot of barriers in our everyday lives that get in the way. Money, work, family matters, whatever it may be. Even though we have all these things to consider, they shouldn’t be excuses.
We all need to take the time to realize what it is we want to do in life before we’re gone. We need to stop wasting time in that job we hate, with those people who don’t raise you up, doing things that don’t make us happy. There’s not enough time to be wasting our days away.
I urge you to ask yourself if you’re truly happy with where you are and if you were to leave this world tomorrow, what would you regret not doing?
Momento mori, but don’t let it stop you from living the life you deserve!
