Day to Day Thoughts and Insights

Why You Should Give Up

Alright, the title sounds bad, but allow me to explain. I want you to give up your attempts at trying so freaking hard because it’s doing nothing but stressing you out. I’m not telling you to be a bum and never do anything ever again, but give up the habit of forcing your will on the world.

My friend told me a story of his coworker. This guy said that in 2025, he’s decided to give up. No goals, no hopes, no expectations. By giving up, the “bad” holds no weight and the “good” doesn’t either. Things will happen no matter what and he’ll manage them as they come.

I like the sentiment, but I can’t fully grasp the no goals part. Goals are worthwhile in my eyes and I enjoy having something to work towards. The rest sounds good though. The other night, I had this realization myself and that’s what inspired this blog.

I was lying in bed, ruminating yet again, trying to think of some way to fix my current situation. What can I do, what can I say, how can I fix this? As I tried to come up with some resolution, i realized that I don’t have to do anything. There’s nothing I can do to alter the past, I have no clue what the future holds, and there’s only so much in my control. Those things within my control are what I need to focus on.

I know, you’d think a Stoic in training would have realized this sooner, but some of these things take time to sink in.

So after that night, I decided to give up. I’m done trying to force my effort on the situation. I’m done trying to come up with a solution. I’ve given up thinking there’s something I need to do to fix everything and make it right. There’s nothing else for me to do. I’ve done everything I could, I know what I want, and now all I can do is let Nature run it’s course. In the meantime, those things within my control are becoming the main focus.

It’s a freeing experience to pull back on your efforts, at least it has been for me. When I realized I no longer have to do anything except exist in the moment, focus on my own habits, be myself, and let my own goals drive my actions, I felt a lot of my stress and anxiety leave me. I have no control over how someone else will respond to me, how the world will unfold before me, I can’t force people to work in favor of my goals, I can only do what I can and respond to what happens next.

There comes a time when you have to realize there’s nothing else you can do and when that moment comes, give up. You cannot force Nature to act how you want it to. Trying to fix situations, influence others, control the environment, and make your goals happen on your time does nothing but encourage more stress and anxiety in your life. Realize when your efforts aren’t amounting to results and take a step back. Consider how much time you’re spending trying to control something that you have no control over.

It may be difficult at first to admit that there’s nothing you can do, but you’ll soon find your life is much easier when you just give up.

January 27, 2025

Time Flies, But Not When You Want

Have you ever noticed how fast time flies with certain things? Every so often, you’re reminded of something and you realize how much time has passed, seemingly in the blink of an eye. At the same time, there are times that make every day feel eternal. There are moments in life that make you feel like nothing will every change or be normal again. These are the most important times and should be used to your advantage.

This blog was inspired by a trip to Wendy’s. I was greeted by an old classmate from high school and as we chatted, I recalled the last time I saw him at that same Wendy’s. It had been almost exactly a year since I stepped foot in that spot, but that year span seemed so insignificant. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t been to a Wendy’s in such a long time. Then as I got into my car, I noticed an empty kombucha bottle in my door. I recalled putting it there and realized how lazy I’ve been because that has been sitting there for at least a year and a half.

I was curious about why these small moments go unnoticed for so long and when you do realize how long it’s been, it seems like the time flew by. How is it that I’ve put off recycling a bottle every day for months, haven’t been to my favorite fast food place in a year, haven’t talked to someone in multiple years? Why is it that some things have no grasp on time, but others grip it and force you to acknowledge its presence?

The past month has moved painfully slow for me. Most of the days drag on as I struggle to not ruminate on the past or predict the future. The hours between leaving work and going to bed are daunting. There’s just too much time to spend in my own head or using distractions to prevent a spiral. Motivation has been rare. Painting doesn’t interest me, reading is boring, I don’t want new hobbies, and I don’t always want to talk to friends. Every day plays out roughly the same way, just with varying degrees of anxiety. But even the days where I feel more like myself creep by slowly.

So what’s the difference? Why are these days such a burden, but with other things, the time passes so easily? I think it’s a matter of significance in the grand scheme of your life. Some things don’t require your undivided focus while others require you to dive deep and change. Throwing away a bottle that you’ve left in your car takes 30 seconds to correct, then it’s a simple decision to change your habit and take care of trash right away in the future. With bigger things that leave you with a lot of questions, grief, and anxiety, it’s not so simple.

When life tests you and introduces you to new emotions, there’s no immediate resolution. You can say you’ve learned your lesson and you’ll be better in the future, but the pain won’t dissipate until your entire being believes it and you truly detach from the situation. If you’re still experiencing all the negative emotions and still asking all the same questions, there’s more work to be done. You can’t simply fake it and move on. The emotions and thoughts need to be observed, acknowledged, and altered. Your thought patterns need to be rewritten and that takes time.

So when your days drag on, there’s likely something inside you that needs attention. You can’t simply ignore it or lie to yourself and say you’ve moved on and improved. Your brain won’t believe it until your body does. You need to reach a point when you can see something for what it was, accept it, appreciate it, understand why it happened, know what it taught you, and know what you’ll do in the future. But if you do this and continue to find yourself ruminating and experiencing negative emotions, your work isn’t done.

If a bad day happens, don’t dread it and spend all day wishing it was over, hoping tomorrow will be better. Show yourself compassion and realize it’s ok to feel this way. Continue to acknowledge your fears and anxieties, understand the root cause of them, and try your best to discover how you can work through them. There are some core beliefs that are being tested and your job is to find them and alter the cycle of negative self talk.

Healing takes time. There’s no telling how long, but you can be certain that intentional focus on bettering yourself will speed up the process.

January 25, 2025

How to Know You’ll be ok

There are times when you’ll feel like you’ll never make it though. You’ll feel as though nothing will get better and you’ll forever be sad. You will question every decision you’ve made, blaming yourself for every little thing. You may feel anger or resentment, think there will never be a point where you’ve moved on.

When life pulls the rug out from under you, how can you know with certainty that you’ll be ok?

I’m tired of people telling me I’ll be ok. The amount of times I’ve heard “you’ll get through this” and “something better will come” is astounding. No amount of hearing these things makes my days go by any easier. It is near impossible to believe that when I feel the way that I do. The hopelessness is sometimes crippling. The anxiety rips me away from the present. The future me that has made it through this and feels whole again seems like a fairytale.

My entire routine has been altered. My days look completely different. My thoughts consume me and I feel like I’ll never be able to go back to the way it was. So no, I don’t feel like I’ll be ok, but I know I will be. How? A few reasons.

I made it through yesterday. As difficult as the past few days and weeks have been, I made it through. They weren’t easy, there were moments of peace, but also many more moments of fear, anxiety, and hopelessness. Days I thought would never end eventually came to a close. Moments of immense pain came to pass. Through it all, I am still here, writing this blog. Just like all those days that have come to pass, there are more days ahead. I know they won’t always be easy, but I will make it through them.

I’ve noticed progress and made an effort to acknowledge it. Though it feels like nothing has changed, I know I’m not as bad as I was. Last week was one of the worst in my life and when I compare then to right now, I’m better, much better. There are still a ton of negative thoughts and feelings running through my mind and body, still so many questions left unanswered, and fears of what’s to come, but with time they have all lessened. They’re still here, but not as regularly or for as long as they once were. Each day brings fewer glances at my phone, less dwelling on the past, less desire for answers, more compassion and understanding, and more focus on self soothing and self worth. So no I’m not whole, but progress is being made and I’m making an effort to praise every little bit.

Everything is starting to become clear. This goes along with the previous one, but as my nervous system regulates, my rational mind gains traction. Questions arise, but the ego holds less weight. The answers no longer end with me feeling confused, sad, anxious, worthless, or idiotic. Instead, I understand what took place, I hold myself accountable, I don’t regret how it played out, I don’t wish to change the past, I understand the other perspective, I don’t let any of it tarnish my view of myself, and I focus on what I learned. With time I’ve allowed myself to feel my emotions and I give myself compassion. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way, but I refuse to stay here. Now that my ego isn’t at the forefront, I still experience the negative emotions, but I’m certain they won’t last, because my focus has switched to how I can improve.

When you’re in the thick of negativity, it can seem like nothing will ever change. The weight you carry can drag you to depths you feel impossible to escape from. Every day can feel never-ending, like you’ll never experience peace again. As hard as these days are, you need to look within yourself for proof of better days to come. People telling you everything will be fine won’t mean anything if you don’t believe it yourself. The signs of progress in my life may not resonate with you. If that’s the case, make an effort to find your own. Search for any glimmer of hope within your thoughts and daily efforts. Find proof within you that you’re on the right track and you’re navigating your way out of this.

Don’t stop until you know deep in your gut that you’ll make it through this.

December 23, 2024

Take Your Own Advice

Advice isn’t meant for you. Advice is meant for the person giving it.

No one can give you the perfect advice for what you’re going through. While they may have experienced something similar, they have no idea about your unique experience. You are living through your own feelings, emotions, thoughts, and obstacles while they are doing the same.

When someone gives you advice, they can’t say for sure it will help with your situation. The advice they give is based on their own experience and the lessons they’ve learned in their own struggles to overcome obstacles. They can tell you to do this or that because they wish they had done so, but that may not be what’s best for you.

So who should you ask for advice from? You can continue talking to friends, family, and others about what you’re going through and listen to what they have to say, but in the end, you have to trust your gut. Your intuition is your best bet at making move that aligns with your morals and core beliefs. You’ve lived in your mind and body your whole life, so you know how you should proceed in this moment.

If you were to take a moment and have a talk with your future self about your current situation, what would they say? Whatever that first thought was that popped into your head was should be listened to. It may not be the answer you want to hear, but it’s the one you needed. You know something isn’t benefiting you, it may even be harming you, so why do you continue? Why do you stay with that person when you know it’s a poor fit? Why do you drag yourself out of bed each morning for a job you despise?

There’s something in you that keeps you in these negative loops. Somewhere along your journey, you developed beliefs that hinder your progress. You think you’re not good enough, you’re unlovable, you’re a failure, you’re not smart, you were meant to be average, etc. None of these is true. You are capable of anything and you are good enough. You just have to be strong enough to trust yourself.

Consider the negative situation you’re working through right now. Sit and ask yourself “what do I need to do?”. Although the first thought may scare you, it is very likely the best choice for you. Trust yourself and do what needs to be done. It’ll be scary and it will probably be hard, but you will make it through just like you always have.

December 16, 2024

Inspired Work Only

If you’re an avid reader of this blog, you may have noticed I’ve taken a few days off. My initial plan was to do a blog a day for a full year, but plans change.

After reading about inspirational goals versus goals out of desperation, my choice to write a daily blog has changed. I’ve been finding myself forcing blog ideas each day, which consumes a lot of my time being lost in thought. I want the blogs I produce to mean something and not simply be done out of necessity. I fell into this habit because I set out to complete this challenge, but that doesn’t mean I have to see it through.

From this point forward, I want my blogs to come from inspiration – without extensive thinking, an idea pops into my head that I want to expand on. This will likely mean I won’t be writing every day. Some weeks may be full of blogs, others may have none.

A small part of me is scared I won’t ever get that inspiration I desire, but that’s I risk I have to take. I fear laziness in the time I was consistently writing a blog up to this point. I’m scared creating fewer posts will lower my exposure. All of this worries me, but I can’t let it sway my gut feeling.

Inspired work is important and should be pursued if you want to achieve great things. You shouldn’t commit to anything that doesn’t motivate you and you shouldn’t chase goals out of internal fears or emotions. You also shouldn’t be afraid to change course, no matter how long you’ve been doing something.

You’re always changing as a person, so some habits and goals are going to change with you. Never be afraid to pivot, never fear an unknown future. Trust your instinct, pursue what inspires you, and have patience every day. Each day will bring new challenges and ideas, so all we can do is focus on right now.

November 25, 2024

Positive Thinking is a Lie

Positive thinking is pointless. Thinking positively only works when you’re in a good mood, otherwise it trains your brain to believe thinking is always wise.

Clearly this book – Don’t Believe Everything You Think – has made a strong impression on me since my past three blogs have been on the topic. It’s not often a book makes me think so much (or in this case, not think). Another concept I wanted to explore from the book was how positive thought isn’t as powerful as you may believe.

if you’re like me, you may catch yourself in stressful or unwanted situations and tell yourself “just think about the positives”. I’d constantly do this and try working through my frustration by practicing positivity and thinking about how this case isn’t as bad as it seems. This book has made me question that process.

According to the author, while positive thinking seems beneficial, the actual way to face the world head on is by not thinking at all. When these moments pop up and your brain starts ramping up, the way to resolve it is to pause, breathe, and release the string of thinking.

Considering this more, the way I understand this is that positive thinking is allowing your brain to think because you feel it’s helpful, but in reality, you’re telling your brain that all thinking is allowed. You have to train the muscle of not thinking by preventing attachment to all thinking. If you let the brain run rampant when it’s in a good mood, it’ll be incredibly difficult to cut it off when you’re in a bad mood.

Being able to stop your thinking is something you have to do consistently, no matter what the thinking looks like. This process has proven quite difficult over the past couple days. I’ll find myself deep in the process of thinking because I feel like I’m considering productive ideas, but then a rush at work happens and my thinking switches to stress and the thinking continues uninterrupted. So even when it feels positive, you have to cut it off. That’s the only way to grow unattached.

Thinking is the root of suffering, not just negative thinking, all thinking. If you want to learn presence and be able to handle any situation, you need to practice the habit. This means stopping the brain when it’s in a positive state and when it’s in a negative one.

November 21, 2024

Ignorance is a Choice

I strongly suggest you don’t learn about anything that benefits your life. Don’t bother learning about dieting, exercising, meditation, presence, self awareness, none of it. It’s honestly a terrible idea, because once you start, you can’t turn back.

I finished reading Don’t Believe everything You Think today and towards the end, the author said something that inspired this blog. They said now that you’ve read through this whole book, you’ve learned the concepts of no thinking, and presence, you can never be the same person you were before.

I’ve thought about this a lot prior to reading this book, but more in relation to diet and exercise. I know people who do not understand calories or how they affect the body. Being someone who did a lot of research long ago on macros and all that shit, I realize how much work it is and how frustrating it can be to have that knowledge in your brain. Same with exercise. Once I started learning about weight lifting, the flood gates opened and there was no turning back.

Now, I find it hard to eat certain things, eat too much, have meals with too little protein, skip the gym, pass on cardio, etc. Once that information is in your brain and you fully understand it, ignoring it is now a choice and when you choose to not follow the guidance, you realize you’re choosing something detrimental.

It’s the same with this book – now that I’ve learned how thinking is the cause of suffering, every time I let myself spiral in thought, I’ll know I’m making the choice to lose out on peace. Now that it’s a clear choice, I can’t be blissfully ignorant.

Does this mean you shouldn’t learn about these things? Not at all, but you have to be readyy to make a huge change. Once you start, you can’t stop – not without knowing you’re making poor choices. Once you learn about calories and macros, you won’t look at food the same way. Once you learn about mindfulness, you won’t be able to get lost in thought without catching yourself and returning to the present. When you discover the better way, ignorance is no longer an excuse, it’s a choice.

So if you’re ready to make that choice and hold yourself accountable, start learning. This is your warning. Are you ready?

November 20, 2024

Inspiration or Desperation

Are you goals and dreams born out of inspiration or desperation? It’s possible you’ve never considered it – I haven’t, but now I’m questioning everything.

I started reading Don’t Believe Everything You Think and today I read the chapter on this idea of desperation versus inspiration. The basic idea is that we create goals and chase certain dreams in our life, but one type empowers you while the other digs you deeper into a whole of negativity.

When a goal is born out of desperation, you feel something is lacking in your life and that the only way to fill that void is through external accomplishments and validation. You can have a goal to make a lot of money, but really it stems from your feeling of insecurity, fear, or comparison to others. You can strive to be in a loving relationship, but it can simply be your inability to feel valuable, a feeling of worthlessness, or loneliness. Any goal or dream can form from desperation depending on the emotions associated.

An inspired goal is one that comes from nowhere and fills your being with excitement. There may be no reason at all for your desire other than to accomplish something. You can have the dream of being an artist full time simply because you love doing it, not because you want money or fame. You can desire to get in insane shape because you love the challenge of forming habits and consistency. Dreams of inspiration come from deep within you and don’t require any external validation to be pursued.

Reading about these differences made me think a lot about my own goals and which I’m committing to out of inspiration and which out of desperation. Those that are desperation should be forgotten because you have to realize the externalities you’re looking for are already within you, no one and nothing else can give you them. Inspired goals are the ones to focus on and act on every day. These are the goals that will keep you motivated because you’re doing them for you, you’re doing them because you want to.

Before discovering this difference, all your goals may feel the same except when you pursue them, one feels empowering while the other feels draining. By chasing external validation out of negative emotions, you will never find what you’re looking for. You may accomplish the goal but still feel like nothing changed. In these cases, you have to look inward and discover what you actually desire and how you can find it within yourself to feel like who you are and what you have is enough.

Reconsider all the goals you have right now. Which are coming from a place of desperation and which are you truly inspired to pursue? Focus on those that empower you. Choose those that feel right.

November 19, 2024

Become Aware of Your Habits

When your habits need changing, your self awareness needs improving.

In order to break out of your old ways, you first need to be able to recognize your patterns. You can’t drop a habit or add a new one if you don’t know how you work. You need to know the triggers, you need to notice the instincts, and you need to find the gap between stimulus and response.

Take a simple example like looking at your phone too much. You can tell yourself you want to limit your usage all you want, but if you never take the time to acknowledge your impulses to grab the phone, you won’t change. On a daily basis, you need to notice every single time you pick up your phone and make a mental note. The habit needs to be brought to the forefront of your mind, so you can be fully aware of it.

Once you are aware of every instance, you then have to recognize the space between the thought and the action. There’s always that moment between wanting to look at your phone and actually picking it up – that’s where your improvement sits. Once you’re aware of that space, you can make the change.

Now that you found that, you have to truly want to change the habit. If you’re ready, you simply have to act differently. So when you think of checking your phone, you reach for it, you pause, then you put the phone back down. You start by doing this a few times a day and eventually you do it more and more. That’s all there is to it.

Self awareness is all you need. You need to know how you act and be aware of every moment you consider the act and actually perform it. When you’re aware of what you want to change and notice every time you do what you don’t want to, then you can make the switch. Any time you go to do that thing, you pause, and you make the choice to act differently.

This sounds easier than it is and it takes time and effort. If you truly want to break a habit though, you gotta be willing to do the work. Pay more attention to what you do and how often. Don’t do things blindly or without intention. Be aware of your habits and use the gap between stimulus and response to be better than you were yesterday.

November 18, 2024

Relief of Freedom

It is so nice to be able to whatever I want with my days now that 75 Hard is over. The freedom to choose my routine is awesome, but it’s also a test.

We all reach a point in life when we make all our decisions for ourselves. We have to decide what we want our life to look lik, what our habits are, who we spend time with, where we live, how we spend our money, etc. Each of us has the freedom to do whatever we want every single day, but does that mean we should just say “fuck it” and be reckless?

Now that I don’t have to go to the gym, walk, read, not drink, or eat well, I can choose to live each day however I want. I can skip the gym, eat like shit, drink beer, and do anything I feel like. It’s only been a week of this, but it’s been such a relief knowing I can take it easy. However, this freedom is nothing but a test in my eyes. Simply because I can go off the walls with my habits doesn’t mean I should. Being able to make the choice every day is nothing but another test of discipline.

It’s easy to do the hard shit when there’s a challenge involved, but are you able to keep it up when every day is up in the air? When no one is watching you and you don’t have a challenge to complete, can you still find the motivation to do the hard shit? That’s the true test.

I’ve found joy in going to the gym consistently. I’ve realized how easy it is to cook my meals every day. Finding time to read is second nature. Now I know I have no need to turn to beer to cope with shitty days. The habits I formed over those 75 days made a big difference in my perspective and I genuinely want to keep them going. Even so, I glad I can go out for a beer with my friends or grab dinner with my family again.

So now that I can do whatever I want, I still want to stay healthy, but I’m not going to beat myself up when I cheat. With this freedom, I’m still choosing my health as a priority and staying consistent 90% of the time, which to me is more than enough.

What about you? Are you using your freedom to improve your life or are you choosing poor habits more often? Just because you can do whatever you want every day doesn’t mean you should life like shit. Find it in you to stay healthy, pursue hobbies and passions, read, eat well, and life a good life. Freedom is great and you should enjoy it, but don’t use it as an excuse to live poorly.

November 17, 2024

The Answer You Need

To receive the answer you want, you need to ask the question you don’t want to ask.

You cannot be afraid to ask the questions you need to ask. The only way to get the answers you need to hear and to make any progress, you need to be confident enough to ask. This shit is scary, I know it and I’m sure you do too. There are answers we all need, but in order to get them, we have to find the courage to ask tough questions.

My mind has been all over the place and I’ve been dodging the simple fact that all of it could be over if I just asked one simple question. I’ve been terrified to do so because I’m afraid of getting an answer I don’t want. I have so much fear of rejection, of something going wrong, ruining something good, and potentially upsetting someone and myself. The fact is, it’s better to get it out and get an answer than keep doing what I am now.

You’re not always going to get the answer you want. Things don’t always work out in your favor and you have to learn to accept that. At this point, you should realize you can handle anything life throws at you, whether it’s what you desired or what you don’t. Knowing this, you should face life head on and never hesitate with asking people the things you need answers to. If it’s a battle between needing closure and fear of their response, the best course of action is to face the fear and ask.

What do you get from staying silent? For me it’s a lot of anxiety, over thinking, and creating potential realities. That shit doesn’t do anything beneficial for me, it only distracts my mind from the present. Building up the courage to ask the question may not give me the answer I want, but it stops the questioning in my mind. Once the question is out, there’s no more room for over thinking because the answer is on the horizon.

It’s ok to be hesitant with certain things. If you’re considering the feelings of other people and you’re afraid to place burden on someone else, that’s a sign of your emotional intelligence. When this happens, it’s good to think it through before blurting it out. Take the time to consider your thoughts and desires before asking. The key though is that you can’t let the mind fester on this for too long. The question can’t stay locked away.

It is terrifying to ask what’s on your mind, but it necessary. If there are questions you need answers to in order to move forward, you have to ask them. Be respectful, express your thoughts and feelings, and ask what needs to be asked. Don’t expect every answer to be what you want, but know the answer you receive is the one you needed. You’ll be ok no matter what.

November 16, 2024

There’s No Rules

There’s no rules, dude. Honestly, you can do whatever you want. Stop worrying so much about the opinions of other people and just live your life.

Ok, obviously there are some rules we all have to follow, but I needed a better hook opening line. What I mean by this sentiment is that you can do pretty much anything you want, within reason, but what stops you is fear. How many times have you wanted to try something but didn’t because someone else said not to, or you were afraid of being judged? I know personally, it’s happened a lot.

There is no hard and fast rule on how you’re supposed to live your life or how you should accomplish your goals. Simply because one person did this or someone else says that, doesn’t mean it’s the only way. Some things in life are meant to be taken less seriously, but we overthink them out of fear.

The bi ones that come to mind as I right this are piercings and tattoos, also relationships. Tattoos and piercings are fun in my eyes. I think they’re an expression of your personality and you shouldn’t be afraid to get them if you desire them. There are people who hate tattoos and they will not like yours, but who the hell cares? There’s no universal ruling of what tattoos you should get or how many, you decide that.

With relationships, there isn’t one way in which every one will progress. My Tik Tok has been inundated with relationships videos and they all say different things, but none of them fit perfectly. The situation you’re in is unique and so is mine, so no one rule will work for both of us. You have to act in ways that feel right. That may mean expressing your feelings, it may mean waiting it out. Maybe you need to break up, maybe you need to stay together. Sometimes giving some space is the answer, while other times you need closeness. You make the rules based on the scenario and what feels right.

No one can make these choices for you. You have to be able to know your values and let them guide your decisions. If something feels right and it has no detrimental affect on those around you, consider it more deeply. Your decision shouldn’t be made out of fear or because it has worked for someone else. You have to make your own rules and try your own methods. You’ll learn and grow with every action.

Every decision you make won’t be the best one and that’s fine too. Recalibrate and try something else later. Whatever feels right to you in your present state should be thought about. Don’t let fear guide you.

November 15, 2024

New Priorities

Your priorities are what determine where your life will go. If you don’t choose them, you’ll wander aimlessly. If you set them and commit, you’ll have direction and purpose.

If 75 Hard taught me one thing, it’s that your priorities determine what your life looks like. If you tell yourself you have specific things that need to be done each day and you commit to doing them, your life will have direction and purpose. With priorities, you don’t have to question how to spend your time or feel like you’re wasting it.

My priorities during the challenge were clear – reading, diet, exercise, and adequate sleep. Now that 75 Hard is over, it’s up to me to develop new priorities. I liked how my life looked during that 3 months, but I want it to be more open and I want to add new objectives with the additional time I’ll have .

So now knowing how priorities work and what truly committing to goals looks like, I’m left trying to decide what my main ones will be. I know they don’t have to be set in stone, but for now I think it’s clear. I will commit to at least 5 gym days a week and at least 3 cardio sessions. I want to focus on my japanese and commit to at least 30 minutes a day. I also want to prioritize ETT – blogs, social media, and building the coffee business. 

Choosing your priorities is the easy part, the committing to doing them every day is hard. With 75 Hard, I learned how to do something without fail every day, so I know it’s possible. The tough part now is proving I can do it without the added push of a challenge at stake. 

Can you find it in you to stay consistent through discipline alone? What are you willing to give up and turn down in order to accomplish your goals? Figure out your priorities and commit to them. Don’t let excuses get in your way

November 14, 2024

Only What’s Necessary

How much of what you say is necessary? Have you ever considered how much could be left unsaid and how much more peace you’d have?

I’ve been sick for the past few days and it’s driving me nuts. I never get sick, but when I do, it’s rough. This illness has mainly given me a sore/scratchy throat, making it difficult to speak. Of course a main portion of my job is speaking, so this has me considering how to limit my words to what’s necessary. 

This idea came to me when a customer said something off putting. I was about to walk back to the kitchen and vent like I usually would, but thought twice. I really had no desire to try using my voice more than necessary and this didn’t feel like it needed to be said. So it got me thinking about all the shit we say every day and how much of it is just filler.

A lot of the time, we just talk to talk. Silence can be awful, so we do our best to fill it. We love complaining to other people, telling our stories, and sharing our opinions, but how much of it really needs to be said? 

There’s a Stoic quote that says “Never catch yourself complaining, not even to yourself.” I feel that fits with my realization today. It’s good to have meaningful conversations with others – that’s how you make connections and meet new friends. It’s not good to fill your time with unnecessary banter just to fill the void of silence.

So before you say that shit, ask yourself if the world would be worse off if it was left unsaid. If not, maybe you can save your breath and just enjoy the silence for a moment.

November 13, 2024

No Participation Medal

There’s no medals in real life. When you accomplish something significant, you may get a few pats on the back, a couple “congratulations”, or a few likes on an IG post, but the real medal is the lessons you learned and proving something to yourself.

Today I drew one last check mark on the white board to signify the end of my 75 Hard journey. I accomplished something big today and it’s a huge relief. So where’s my prize? There isn’t one. There’s no medals, no parades, no interviews, nothing. Tomorrow I will erase 75 straight lines and it’ll be like nothing ever happened. Everyone who knew I was doing this will soon forget and life will move on.

So what’s the point of doing shit like this if you don’t get some kind of recognition?

If you think like that, you’re never going to be happy or feel like you accomplish anything. The goal of challenging yourself is not to gain validation from peers, flashy trophies, or anything external. The purpose of pushing yourself is to prove your strength and resilience to yourself, to learn more about how you work, and to see what you’re capable of.

Doing hard things for external validation and rewards will only lead to your detriment. If you’re always working as a way to impress others, you’ll never win. You will always be looking for the next thing and hoping that will make you happy. When you set out to accomplish something, the main priority should be to better yourself or prove yourself to you and only you.

You will receive praise from people and it will feel nice, but it shouldn’t be the focus. You’ll quickly see how fast people move on and forget about what you’ve done, but you will always remember. This is why you should be doing hard shit for yourself and no one else.

Do it to prove you can. Be insanely disciplined to know what it feels like. Challenge yourself to learn some lessons. Try new things to discover your passions. Do hard shit to show what you’re made of. Never expect a reward. Do it for you.

November 6, 2024

One More Obstacle

Why not have one more obstacle to try stopping me from completing 75 Hard? Maybe this will be the one that gets me…

Once again, I was met with a Unexpected Consequences of changing my routine. In my effort to walk before work, the change in season got me good. If you know me, you’ll know I’m not one to be afraid of the cold. I rarely wear jackets, hats, or gloves throughout the winter, but this time I overestiated my bodies resilience.

You may remember a few days ago, I talked about how I finally got rained on during my morning walk. After 70 days straight of decent weather, I was met with a 40 degree, rainy morning. I didn’t think anything of it as I zipped up my rain jacket and completed the walk, but it lead to me getting sick. For the past three days, I’ve been weak, achey, and have a scratchy throat. It’s been a little rough and it’s the closest I’ve come to calling it quits.

I know how important it is to give your body rest, especially when it’s sick, so forcing myself to eat and also do two workouts a day were a struggle. Every part of me has been telling myself to give up and accept defeat, just to let my body finally recover. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do that.

Under normal circumstances, these past few days would’ve been ample excuse to take it easy. My mindset of rest days is to both schedule them and also only use them when you truly need it. I rarely call out of work unless I have a debilitating migraine. I keep my gym days routine, with one or two days off a week. I eat well 90% of the time. I follow strict routines as much as I can and only stray when it’s necessary.

This is what works for me in my attempt to stay disciplined in my health goals. It may look different for you, but this works for my life. I’m all for giving yourself rest when your body says you need it, especially if you’re locked in the majority of the time.

We all know at this stage in our lives that shit happens. Life isn’t always easy and you can’t expect every day to run perfectly. The best way to work with this is to make your priorities clear, do everything you can to stay consistent, listen to your body, and rest when you need it. The goal is to be good as frequently as possible, so that when the Universe strikes, you won’t feel terrible for taking a step back.

November 5, 2024

The Patient Teacher

You can’t get upset with someone for doing something wrong when it’s there first time and you’ve been doing it for years. Give them the energy and help you wish you had when you were in the same position.

It’s easy to forget how much your habits and techniques have developed over the years. You’re able to do things without thinking after having spent a lot of time testing strategies. You’ve locked down your efficiency, limited room for mistakes and mishaps, and built up the muscle memory to do it with ease. With that, sometimes it’s difficult to give a newbie the benefit of the doubt.

I’ve been lucky enough to have trained a few new baristas at work. I was hyped to have this opportunity because this way I know everyone will be on the same page and doing things they way they should. With the training process came a lot of hiccups though and a lot of tests of my patience and ability to correct.

Making espresso drinks may appear easy from the outside, but there are a ton of intricate details that need to be learned in order to create proper drinks. Over the process of teaching all these skills, the new baristas made a lot of mistakes and I had to remind myself that I was in their position once.

Every so often, I’d sense a little annoyance when they steamed the milk poorly, didn’t pay attention to cleanliness, rushed a process, and so on. When things like this came up, I needed o=to remind myself that I used to do all the same things. I can’t expect them to get everything right after just teaching them or even after a few shifts. There’s a lot to pay attention to and a lot of room for mistakes.

All you can do in these situations is help. Getting mad at them or taking over won’t teach them anything. You want them to be comfortable with making mistakes and learning how they can correct them. You need to offer them the guidance you wish you had when you were in their place. This means catching them when they’re doing something wrong and kindly offering the better methods or corrections and continuing to do so no matter how many times they make the same blunder.

No one is going to get it down immediately – I guarantee you didn’t either. You need to exercise your patience and guide them throughout the entire process. If you want them to do something right, help get them there for as long as it takes. Don’t rush them, yell at them, push them aside, or say nothing. Be there for them, answer their questions, and build their foundation. Be the teacher you wish you had.

November 4, 2024

Habitually Stoic

It’s nice to witness your philosophy working in action. It’s cool to see yourself habitually choose to be Stoic in a moment of turmoil and stay calm and focused on controllables.

I don’t know why I have such strange bad luck with my car. In the past few months I’ve popped two tires on a new curb by work, locked my keys in the car for the first time, and today, hit an electric scooter that someone decided to leave lying down in the middle of the road. Today’s incident left me with what I assume is a crack in my oil pan because something was leaking out of it all morning.

This was a hectic way to start my morning and a lot of anger and poor decisions could’ve come from it, but with some things in life, my Stoicism kicks in immediately. Instead of getting pissed off, flustered, upset, or doing something dumb, I focused on what needed to be done. I spent a few minutes unjamming the scooter from under my front bumper, I moved it off the road, I texted my parents, and drove to work (this move may have been dumb, but I did it anyway).

Sure, I let out a quick “Fuck!” when I saw what I had done, but after that, I focused on what I needed to do, kept calm, and worked through it. I quickly understood the mistake was made and couldn’t be changed and thus shouldn’t be upset by. Instead of freaking out, I parked my car and went for my morning walk then set up the coffee shop like nothing happened.

The issue will be resolved and unfortunately I’ll have another chunk taken from my bank account, but I’m happy with how I handled it. I’m proud of myself for being able to stay Stoic in a chance occurrence that very well could’ve have ruined my entire day. Now I only wish I could do this in every scenario.

This response didn’t come out of nowhere, it came from years of practice. I wasn’t always able to keep my cool when shit like this came up and there are still a few times when I don’t act Stoically. I wish I could act like this in every situation, but I know the key to getting there is more self awareness and lots of practice. As little as I want obstacles to arise in my life, I know I need them in order to practice.

So this was a helpful lesson for me and hopefully you can learn from it too. If there are times when you act in ways that you later regret, don’t simply brush them off, learn from them. Acknowledge the times when you do act well and the times when you don’t. In those moments where you sense negative responses coming up, try catching them and doing something different. Your philosophy is there to guide you through life’s ups and downs, but you have to be self aware enough to see when you’re being tested.

Whatever obstacle comes your way, use it as practice. Stay Stoic and do what needs to be done.

November 3, 2024

Future Circumstances

If you have the capacity to do something now, do it now. There’s no guarantee future circumstances will be the same or better than right now, so get it over with.

I was absolutely dreading my walk this morning. I was tired when I woke up, felt slightly sick, and then discovered it was raining. I got ready, drove to work, and braved the rain for 45 minutes. It sucked, it really did, but I got it over with.

As I was walking and wishing I wasn’t, I thought about how I could’ve just waited till after work when the weather would probably be nicer, but I realized that wasn’t a guarantee. There was no way for me to know how energized I’d feel after work and the gym, what the weather would be like, or what my mental state would be. I could hope for the best, but there was no way to know for sure.

This is how it goes in life – we push things off, hoping in the future the circumstances will be more ideal. We continue postponing until it never gets done because there’s never a right time. If there’s something you know you should do, and you have all the energy, time, and resources you need to do it right now, do it right now. If the only thing stopping you is an excuse, do it right now.

The future is completely unknown and uncontrollable. You can never assume later will be better than now, so it’s better to get it over with than hope and postpone. Push past the ego and all its excuses and do what needs to be done. You’ll feel a lot better getting it over with early.

November 2, 2024

Acknowledge Good Days

It’s easy to acknowledge your bad days, to dwell on them and wish they were over. Do you have the strength and self awareness to do the same with good days? If you feed into the negative, you have to give the same energy to the positive.

I’ve been feeling pretty awesome the past couple days. I can’t fully describe the feelings, but I’ve been feeling very connected to people, happy with work, energized, excited to finish 75 Hard, and simply enjoying my days. This hit me in the car the other day, windows down, music bumping, and I took a few moments to breathe into the emotions.

It made me realize how infrequently I make an effort to fully immerse myself in the feelings of my good days and good moments. On the other hand, when days are bad, I’m completely sucked into it. When bad days roll around, 90% of my thoughts are about how frustrating it is, my body is tense, breath shallow, motivation low, everything is off. So if I’m so willing to feed the negativity, why shouldn’t I be able to do the same with positivity?

I think when we experience those good days, we kind of just roll with it, but never take a moment to appreciate it. We understand things are going well, but our emotions are surface level – they’re there, but we don’t truly acknowledge them. When we feel good, we just act freely and the day passes by with ease. That’s all well and good, but I think we should try taking it a step further and really be in the moment.

When you notice this euphoric feeling, don’t simply brush it aside – you don’t do that with negative feelings. Take a moment and really feel it, breathe into it, sense it throughout your body. See what your thoughts are telling you and realize you have the power to have great days, not only bad ones.

Sometimes it may seem like every day is shitty, but sprinkled in there can still be these moments of peace and happiness. I think in order to experience more of these moments, you have to start acknowledging them when they arise. Like when you’re down, but you have a fun chat with a friend, when you cook something delicious, you lie down and relax, anything. It isn’t all bad, you may just be choosing to only see the bad.

Use some presence and self awareness to acknowledge the emotions you’re feeling. Try your best to cut off the negatives and when the positives arise, fully accept that everything isn’t that bad. Focus your energy on the good moments and soon you’ll find they’re around more often than you realized.

November 1, 2024

Magic in the Menial

Are you willing and able to find magic in the menial? Can you take a boring, repetitive task and find a way to enjoy it and even learn from it?

Today I was tasked with unboxing and stocking our cups, lids, napkins, and other supplies for the coffee shop. I didn’t think it would be that bad, but it soon turned into more of a job than I thought. It may seem easy and I would agree, but it was a slow, boring process that caused some frustration.

I didn’t want this to ruin my mood, however, so I needed to find a way to accept it. So instead of being frustrated and performing a subpar job, I considered how I could enjoy it. With consideration, I realized jobs like this are exactly what I love to do. I love organization, cleanliness, and putting things in efficient order. When I’m given a job to do, I try to do it to the best of my ability. If that’s a quality I want to exude, I can’t pick and choose my moments.

To make things even better, I turned on some music and got to work. It took a long time, but I managed to complete the task without losing my temper. When I felt anger arise towards things outside of my control, I reminded myself of why this was good for me to be doing and thoughts of ways to learn from this. I walked away with clearer ideas of organization and procedures to follow from this point forward, so something like this wouldn’t happen again.

You’re going to be tasked with jobs that feel menial and below your skill level – that’s just how life goes sometimes. You have to be able to shut your ego up, swallow your pride, and act like the better version of yourself would. That means doing the job well, but also finding ways to enjoy it and learn from it.

You don’t always get to choose the tasks you have to do, but you always have the choice to do them well and consider them in a positive light. Your own reasons will be unique to you, you just have to make an effort to discover them.

No matter what you have to work on or overcome, do it to the best of your ability, don’t complain, and do everything you can to enjoy it and learn. Let this be your practice. Let this teach you more about yourself and how you work.

October 31, 2024

Small Action, Big Change

Significant change can take place with minor alterations. One small change can lead to drastically different habits, routines, and thought patterns.

In the past few months, I have fallen in love with listening to music. I’ve been exploring so many new artists and genres, finding new albums regularly, and listening more often than ever before. It’s all because of one simple thing:

My friend Matt bought me a speaker for my birthday.

Matt is a big music guy (not a big picture kinda guy though. *inside joke). Matt makes his own music and knows another about high quality sound systems, headphones, and speakers. So when he picked out this speaker, I knew it’d be good, but had no clue how wildly it’d change my life.

From the moment I charged the speaker and connected it to Bluetooth, I was hooked. Up to that point, I’d just listen from my phone or use my cheap ear buds, but when I heard the quality difference, I was playing everything. Any chance I got to listen to music in my apartment, I would, and long story short, this was the beginning of my music discovery.

After a couple months with that speaker, I needed good headphones too, so guess who I turned to? Now I’m listening to excellent quality music at the gym and on my walks. I can’t get enough. 

I think when Spotify Wrapped comes out, my listening minutes will be more than double what they were last year and that’s pretty rad to me 

What does this mean for you? Those seemingly insignificant choices and changes you make in your life can have a massive effect that you couldn’t anticipate. This is why it’s so important to change it up often, try new things, explore new hobbies, and go against the status quo.

If you continue doing what you’ve always done, you’ll continue seeing the results you’ve always seen. If something isn’t working for you or you’re not happy with an area of your life, lock in on it and make some changes. Test the waters with new techniques and see what happens.

You never know what could happen when you give something new a try.

October 30, 2024

Never Regret Being Good

Never regret being your genuine self. If your act of caring isn’t accepted in the way you would’ve liked, it is not the act that shouldn’t have been done, but your response to their reaction.

You are a good person and you strive to do nice things for other people. You should be proud of that, no matter how the world responds to you. If it is in your nature to care for others by doing favors, listening to them, and helping however you can, continue doing so. There will be many times when the other person does not acknowledge you, but that shouldn’t cause you to regret your choices.

Your job is to act like your true and genuine self without regard to other’s responses. If you help someone and they don’t say thank you, you still did the right thing. If you loan money and they don’t pay you back, you still did what you felt was needed. If you send a message stating your true feelings and they simply ignore it, you acted how you desired.

If their response or lack of it causes your mind to spiral, it is not on them, it is fully on you. There is clearly an underlying expectation involved in your acts that needs to be removed. You should not being doing anything with the intention of repayment. You should be doing what you know in your heart to be genuinely you. Their reaction is on them and your response to that reaction is on you.

When they fail to acknowledge you and you question yourself, you question if being a good person is worth it – it is. There should never be regret involved when you know you did the right thing or acted how you felt was true to your being. Keep being a good person and never hold back your real self. They can choose to accept you or not, but either way, it has no affect on you.

Lower your expectations of other people – you cannot control how they act. We all deal with so much shit, I guarantee you’ve failed to acknowledge someone in the same way they’re doing to you now. Focus on being yourself and keeping your virtues on a daily basis. Do what is right and let the world respond how it will.

October 29, 2024

The Change Up

To stay curious and intereste in our lives, we need to change it up and do so regularly. Going against what you’re used to is one of the best ways to keep life fun and exciting.

I’ve officially started my steady bulk, which I plan to do for the next 6 to 12 months. The goal is to put on a decent amount of mass (I’m thinking 10 to 20 pounds). The past few days has consisted of a lot of planning and calculating daily calories. As I input potential meals for each day, I feel overwhelmed by how much I’ll be eating, but at the same time, I’m excited.

I love doing this shit. People think I’m crazy but I gnuinely enjoy testing my own limits and seeing what I’m capable of. That’s why my routine is so rarely the same. The challenge of completely altering my diet and tracking it all as a way to build more muscle is a lot of fun. While it seems daunting, I know that if I do it right, I’ll see the results I desire.

The book I’m reading, Deep Work by Cal Newport, brings up the idea that having too much free time is detrimental to our happiness and productivity. We need to stay busy and feel like we’re working towards something. For me, doing things like these fitness challenges is exactly what I need to stay interested in my daily life and feel productive. This removes a lot of time spent wondering what to eat and what to do at the gym. I figure out what’s necessary then stick with it, so inactivity isn’t even an option.

You don’t have to do crazy challenges like I do, but you should consider doing more to stay active and productive. Your days shouldn’t consist of getting ready for work, working, then relaxing to prepare for tomorrow’s work. You can’t expect to feel motivated and excited if that’s all you do. Change it up and do something with your free time. Set some goals for yourself, figure out how to work towards them, and act.

Add some more excitment to your life and see what you’re capable of.

October 28, 2024

A Day Without Lessons

What does it mean when you go through your day without learning any important lessons? Is there still something to be gained from living a day without self reflection and finding room for improvement?

I will admit, I’ve had a few days recently where blog ideas have been hard to come up with. I expected this to happen with such a large goal of writing a blog a day, but what will I do when if it continues?

With today’s reflection, I realized how beneficial it is to look back on the day you just had. When you take the time to reflect from a more objective perspective, you’re able to see where you could’ve done better, mistakes you made and can learn from, and what went well. There shouldn’t be any judgement when you do this, it should simply be a way to improve from this point on.

Not every day will show obvious lessons and that’s ok. It’s still wise to take some time to reflect. Some days it will feel like everything went well and you really didn’t make any poor choices – that’s good! Learn from days like this and see if you can replicate it in the future. Your day doesn’t have to be filled with fuck ups in order for you to improve yourself.

Journaling has always been helpful for me, although admittedly, I’ve fallen out of the habit of writing every night. Blogging of course has been a big focus and outlet for the lessons I’m learning each day. Talking with friends about things can also be a great way to get an outside perspective on your life. There are many ways to reflect and each leads to the same outcome of learning more about yourself and how you respond to the world.

So don’t expect every day to be perfect and don’t assume there aren’t lessons to be learned. Take a few minutes to run through your day in your mind and see what you could work on tomorrow. If you feel you acted productively, try to lock in on the actions and mindset you portrayed in those moments and replicate them. There’s always something to be learned, you simply have to look for it.

October 27, 2024

They Will Never Understand

A lot of people will not understand you. The good news is, they don’t have to.

When you make big decisions in your life – hard challenges, diets, workouts, passion projects, etc. – a lot of people are not going to understand. They won’t comprehend why you would do such and such, or subject yourself to this or that, or feel the need to change what you’re doing.

The people that don’t get it are not worth your time. That may sound harsh, but it’s true. If they can’t see how beneficial it is to challenge yourself, teach yourself discipline and restraint, set boundaries, and desire to be healthy, why would you want their opinions? Why take advice or hear criticism from someone with an utterly different mindset than you?

You determine what is right for your life and no one else should be able to sway you. Many people are so focused on sticking with the status quo that they cannot fathom doing something like you’re doing. That’s completely fine if they don’t, but don’t let it change your mindset or goals. Do the hard shit you desire to do and fuck the opinions and doubts of anyone who would never dream of doing the same.

Always strive to be better, healthier, smarter, more Stoic, more disciplined, and a strong human being. If they don’t understand, don’t waste your time explaining. You choose your own path in life and they choose yours. Don’t lose focus or change who you want to be because of wht someone else tells you.

October 25, 2024

Who Can You Trust?

Who can you actually listen to? If we’re not supposed to worry about the opinions of others and we shouldn’t pay attention to our ego’s negativity, who does that leave?

When we’re striving to do something new or big, everyone is going to have an opinion and your ego won’t necessarily be on board. A lot of people will try to talk you out of it, some will be supportive. Sometimes your ego will talk shit, sometimes you’ll feel good about what your doing. This makes it hard to know if what you’re doing is smart or right, so how can you determine that?

You can’t choose to only listen to people who support your endeavors or your ego when it matches your desire. Ignoring the opposite of those isn’t beneficial. We need to be able to hear all the sides, all the criticism, all the praise, everything. Not only what we want to hear.

If you choose to tell people what you’re doing, they’re opinions shouldn’t have the power to sway you. I think if there’s anyone or anything you should listen to, it’s your gut. It often seems like when we’re questions our next steps, we ask people for advice or bring it up in conversation to see what they’ll say. However, I think we all know exactly what we’d like to do, but talking about it with others and overthinking it does nothing but make us question things.

In all honesty, it seems like the best thing to do is trust your initial instinct and act on it. You know what you want to do, so you have to do it. Your results alone will tell you whether it was wise or not. There’s no reason to see what others think because they’re in a completely different mindset than you and haven’t considered doing the same thing themselves.

If your gut is hesitant and you’re telling people about what you’re thinking about, you’re really just hoping they’ll confirm your hesitancy. If you’re excited to start and you tell people about it, you’re just hoping they’ll support you. You know what feels right and what doesn’t, so trust yourself. Their opinions and your ego have no idea what’s right for you because they aren’t you.

You’ve been living this life for years now, you should know what lines up with your life path and what doesn’t. If you want to try something, try it. If you feel it wouldn’t be wise, don’t do it. This isn’t to say let fear win because fear is the ego. There’s a fine line between being excited to start and fear trying to prevent it and you have to know the difference.

Trust the feelings you get when taking the next step. No one else’s opinion matters. The best way to learn whether you made the right choice or not is to do the thing and watch it play out. Have faith in your own ability to make decisions for your life.

October 24, 2024

Ready for Mr. Olympia… Maybe

Today I discovered I may have body dysmorphia. Now I am left wondering if I should trust a test result or follow my gut.

At this point, you know I’m doing 75 Hard and have only 2 weeks left. For about the past month I’ve focused more on cutting calories in an attempt to lose some body fat. I’ve definitely noticed the results and I’m pretty hyped by them. I figured I’d keep cutting and finish out the challenge because I still see some fat on my sides, but then I took a test today.

A gym owner offered to give me an InBody scan to test my body fat percentage. I was all for it because I wanted to hit between 8 and 10% before starting a long, slow bulk. When I took the test (twice) the number was 3.8% then 4.6%, so either way, incredibly low. I was shocked and so was the trainer at the gym.

There is absolutely no way my body fat is that low – even with body dysmorphia, I’d notice something like that. That would make me look incredibly frail and sick and I don’t think I’d feel as healthy as I do. Right? I honestly have no idea…

So now I’m left wondering if I should go with my original plan or trust this machine and just start increasing my calories again. I think ultimately it’s probably a good idea to start eating more – The past week at the gym I’ve been thinking about how bad I want to start building mass again. So maybe this test, whether accurate or not, is my sign to start going down that path.

So to try and wrap this into a lesson, I guess I’ll say this: maybe you’re being too har on yourself and not accurately seeing how much progress you’ve made. You are your hardest critic, so maybe it’s time to take a step back and follow a new path. Whether you get a sign from the Universe or have a gut feeling to make a change, take time to consider it. You’ve made a lot of progress and you can always return to where you are now if need be. So try to see your results from an outside perspective and make your next move wisely.

October 23, 2024

Slow Down

Slow the fuck down and take it all in. You’re missing so much shit when you’re always in your head. Breath. Look around. Notice what’s around you.

I went for a morning walk today and decided to try a new path. There’s a coffee shop up the road from me and I was curious about how far away it was. It was almost the perfect halfway point of my 45 minutes walk, which is sick because now I know I can walk there with ease, but that’s not what this blog is about.

On that morning walk, I discovered so many cool things I’ve never noticed on my drives through the city streets. I was shown just how distracted you can be and how much you can miss when you’re always focused on yourself.

I discovered a beautiful park and memorial with great sunlit seating, I saw a convenient bank I never knew about, another great seating area, a gorgeous church, and honestly just an overall nice walking path. Needless to say, I was pretty hyped at 8 AM.

I ouldn’t believe how much I’ve missed – I’ve been driving this way every morning on my way to work and never saw any of it. Of course, you can’t always be super vigilant and taking in all these details when you’re driving, but I feel this lesson applies in the broader sense.

We rarely take the time to truly take in all that is around us. We go to coffee shops, order, find a seat, and lock in. We go to bars, grab a drink, then sit in the corner with our friends. Our daily drives are so routine, we could do it blindfolded. But how often are you taking everything in? Do you ever listen to all the sounds, see all the unique people around you, all the nature and infrastructure on those streets you know so well? I’d guess probably not.

We should all try to slow it down a little and take it all in. Your thoughts can run amok and your focus can get so set on the task at hand that you fail to be present. When you go somewhere new and that anxiety starts to arise, slow down, breathe, take it all in. Everything will be fine. Notice the little things you’ve ignored all these times you’ve gone down these streets. Appreciate everything that’s happening around you.

You may be surprised at what you find when you jut slow down.

October 22, 2024

The Lonely Arc

In every self improvement journey, there’s a distinct period of time when you will be all alone. When you choose to follow a different path, you’ll find it harder to be around the same friends and your relationships may fall apart. There’s no telling how long it will last, but on the other side, there’s something greater.

I heard about this Lonely Arc on some podcast the other day, but I can’t recall who said it. The message, however, stuck with me.

After just a couple months of doing 75 Hard, my whole mindset on my fitness journey has changed. Now having seen what consistent effort can do for me in such a short time, I’m excited to keep it going even after this challenge ends. I have no clear vision of what my life will look like after November 7th (that’s for future me to figure out), but I know it won’t look like it did before all this.

I’ve barely been out to bars in the past 2 months. I haven’t gone to parties, eaten out, or really even seen all the people I was seeing before. With the little time I have to myself each day, I’m realizing I may not want to go back to that life. As of writing this, I really have no interest in going to bars until 2 AM, crammed parties with a bunch of strangers, or drink in excess then feel like shit the next morning. None of my old habits feel appealing anymore.

I know I will go back to enjoying beer come November, but my relationship to it will look utterly different. I don’t want drinking to be the norm or a consistent activity to do with friends. I’d be happy to just go play pool and have 2 beers then go home by 9 and be fine the next morning. That sounds much more fun to me than what I was doing.

As I begin a new stage of my fitness journey, I’m going to be prioritizing my diet and exercise more than before. I want to be tracking my food and progress in much more detail and striving to achieve my desired results. My focus will be completely different than what it was before.

With this change in mindset and priorities, I anticipate a drastic change in my relationships. I don’t know if it’ll go as far as this Lonely Arc, but I have a strong feeling I won’t be seeing a lot of the same people anymore. If that’s the case, it may suck for a time, but I have faith new friends and relationships will come that fit into my new lifestyle.

I’m not super worried about this potential change – there’s no reason to worry about it now anyway. I’m ready to put more focus and energy into my own improvement, health, and fitness then see where my life goes. I know that as long as I’m focused on the present and trying to be better, everything will work out, and sometimes that’s all we can do.

October 21, 2024

Future Decisions

You can’t always make decisions for your future self in the present moment. Oftentimes it’s better to wait it out, focus on the present, then make your choices when the time arises.

In my attempt to increase my cardio slightly for the last few weeks of 75 Hard, I’ve been walking before work then doing an additional 20 minute walk after the gym. Today, after my morning walk and a long shift on my feet, I was not feeling a second walk with a weighted vest. All day I was talking myself out of it and telling myself the one walk was enough. When I went to the gym, I had every intention of going home right after. However, as the blood started flowing and I saw the sick pump (sorry, cringy gym talk) my mindset switched.

I put on my vest and went for the second walk in the beautiful fall evening. My back was a little sore stil, but the walk wasn’t nearly as bad as I anticipated and now, I’m hyped I fit it in.

This touches on how rarely we can make choices for our future selves. There’s no way to know how you’ll feel or where your life will be when that decision you dread comes around. Overthinking it now won’t get you anywhere. You can’t let your present self make choices for your future self because you have no clue who you’ll be then.

This goes for any decision – changing jobs, working out, buying something new, starting a new habit, choosing a new book to read, picking a blog topic… When the decision actually has to be made, you’ll have different tools under your belt to make the choice – tools present you doesn’t necessarily have.

As hard as it is, we have to try quieting the flow of thoughts related to future actions. Choices are meant to be made in the moment, not days or hours prior. You have to focus on what’s happening right now and make your move when it’s time. If you make the choice now, you’re more likely to choose less healthy options because your current state is tired, sad, anxious, or what have you.

So do what’s needed of you right now and let the future version of you make choices for themself. Maybe you’ll be surprised by how motivated and well prepared they are when the moment comes.

October 20, 2024

But I’m Tired

The lesson I keep going back to throughout 75 Hard is this: it doesn’t matter how you feel, you’re going to do the work. That’s been pretty powerful for me to experience and I hope I can keep the mentality after the challenge is done.

I did not sleep enough last night, so getting up for work was rough. Going to bed late, I also couldn’t walk before my shift, so when the end of my shift came, I was no hyped to do two workouts. All I wanted was to go home and lie down and look at my phone for the rest of the night.

Of course I went to the gym. I considered lifting lighter weights – fuck that. I considered doing fewer sets with longer rests – no shot. Maybe I can just not go to failure? Yeah right! Ok, but can my walk be cut short or at least slower? Dude, you know the answer.

It doesn’t fuckin matter how you feel, you’re putting in the work or you fail the challenge. It doesn’t matter if you’re tired, sad, busy, or sore. You do the work or you fail.

But what if you’re not doing 75 Hard? What’s going to motivate you to do the work no matter what? That’s all you buddy. You’re the only one who has the power to push yourself through and ignore your own excuses. Do you want this bad enough to overcome your fatigue or shitty mood? Only you can answer that.

Just because you don’t feel at the top of your game doesn’t mean you get to take it easy. Not if you’re trying to form discipline and healthy habits. You have to prove to yourself that you’re stronger than your emotions and your brain can’t talk you out of the hard work. You have to lift the heavy weights, even if you can’t hit your normal reps. You have to walk your normal distance or time. You have to work on your passion project. You have to do these things if they mean anything to you.

You know every day isn’t going to be best case scenario, so figure out how you’re going to get yourself to do the work when you’re at your lowest. Nothing can get in your way if it means enough to you.

October 19, 2024

Exactly What I Wanted

I’ve started jokingly adding a line to my dialogue that I think exemplifies a key mindset of the Stoics. It’s something simple, but it expresses a Stoics acceptance of what the Universe wills.

When I drop shit or spill something at work or home, I’ve started saying, “Nice, that’s exactly where I wanted that.” From there, I continue doing what I was doing or restart the drink I just messed up.

It may not seem like much, but in thinking about it more, I think it’s a powerful mindset to have if used on a larger scale,

The Stoics encourage acceptance – whatever Nature chooses to hit you with, you take it and you work with it. There’s no complaining or wishing things played out differently. There’s only letting the world do as it pleases and learning to live with it and use it to your advantage. So when you have a mindset of “Hell yeah, this is exactly what I wanted!” you don’t see hiccups in a bad light.

You can use this for anything you deal with on a regular basis – stuck in traffic, rude customers, making mistakes, rejection, whatever. If something “bad” happens, you understand that it was meant to and you switch your focus to being grateful.

We have no way to know what each day will bring, so it’s better to have no expectations and to be hyped about whatever does come our way. It’s a simple switch from getting pissed to saying “hell yeah!”. It’ll take some practice, but if it’s something you want to try, start doing it. Catch yourself when you feel the anger rise and remind yourself that this is exactly how you hoped life would be.

October 18, 2024

Look at This Graph

Progress is never a steady graph in the upwork or downward direction. On your path to your goals, there will be a ton of ups and downs, high points and low points. What matters is the view of the graph when you zoom out.

I’ve been tracking my weight every day for the past 2 months. I decided I wanted to use all the movement I’m doing daily to help me cut some fat from my belly. I’ve been tracking calories and weighing myself every day after the gym or my walk and the graph of all the data points is slowly forming.

When you look at a small chunk of the graph, it really doesn’t look like my weight is going down at all. What you’d see is a lot of high points, some low points, and in betweens. There’s really no trend one way or another.

Looking at that is kind of a bummer. I question what I’m doing wrong and if I could really put in even more effort. It’s frustrating to see all my hard work not showing the results I expected. But that’s where the zoom out method comes in.

When I switch the view to my weights over the past 2 months, there’s a very cleawr trend in the downward direction. It’s not a steady slope by any means, but the trend lines don’t lie – my weight is progressively moving down.

This is the kind of thing we have to do with all our goals, from business ventures, habit formation, weightloss or gain, skill level, everything. You cannot base your progress off the past few days alone, but instead zoom out and see the full picture. Look at where you started and where you are now and base your progress off that. Look at the entire journey then decide what direction you’re headed in.

We’re so fuckin hard on ourselves because we compare today’s information to yesterday or last week’s. We often fail to look all the way back to the start of our journey and recognize how much progress we’ve made.

I constantly think I’m not progressing in my Japanese, but if Bryce from 2 years ago saw me reading hiragana and katakana with ease and speaking full sentences – god damn he’d be hyped!

If you’re trying to be better every day and putting in the effort, I guarantee you’ve made a lot more progress than you think. Take the chart and zoom out. This isn’t a day by day game, it’s a whole life game. Don’t give up. See the full picture and keep moving in the direction you want to be moving in.

October 17, 2024

Start Now or Prepare?

Is it better to start now or learn the basics first before jumping in? ETT talks a lot about taking the leap and trying new things, but often times, it’s wise to do your research for better initial results.

I’ve been in the gym every day for 54 days straight. I’ve seen a lot of people in there doing a lot of different exercises. A small part of me winces every time I see a teenager in there lifting a weight that’s clearly too heavy. On the one hand, it’s awesome that they’re starting their fitness journey, but on the other, it freaks me out when they lift because I fear they’ll hurt themselves.

Something like lifting weights seems simple enough – pick up weight, move it in specific way, get tired. Now having been going to the gym for years, fucking up a lot of exercises, learning techniques, and sticking with it, I realize how important it is to go into this journey well prepared. If you go in with no knowledge, you’re gonna do things incorrectly and while you may see results, you’re also more likely to get hurt.

If you’re doing an exercise and swinging the weight up and not controlling it on the way down, it’s not optimal. You incorporate way to many other muscles and tendons and put unnecessary strain on your body. You don’t want to start your journey with injuries because you’ll believe it’s not for you.

I’m a strong proponent of doing your research before you start anything. Learn a bunch about the basics of anything new through Youtube videos, blogs, tik toks, and people with experience. No one expects you to know what’s correct right from the start, so look into it.

Like I’ve said in the past, there’s a point in time when you do have to start though. You can’t go on researching and never take action. You will still fuck up when you get going, but that’s ok. You should know roughly what you’re doing wrong and be able to come up with steps to do it right. So if you do an exercise and it feels off, look it up, watch the form, lower the weight, and try again.

No one is judging you. Ok I guess I said I kinda am at the gym, but I do it out of hope that you’ll learn to not ego lift. It is ok to fail as long as you make an effort to get better. With a lot of things, you have to start from the very first stage, like the lowest weight on the stack. If that’s what you can lift with perfect form, who cares what someone else is lifting?

So if you want to start, do some research. Don’t go in blind and hope it works out perfectly because it probably won’t. It’s better to be prepared than to make a huge mistake and even potentially hurt yourself. So look shit up, watch closely, try, and reevaluate. Start on the right foot and build your way up.

October 16, 2024

How to Read

I will read pretty much anything and everything. If something catches my interest and I can borrow it or download it, I’ll give it a shot. Sometimes I pick books that are drastically different than how I think, but to me, that’s not a bad thing.

I started reading The Way of the Superior Man recently. I’ve been seeing a lot of videos about it, it peaked my interest, and I found a PDF download online. Some of my friends were a little concerned when I stated I started it and describe the premise.

The book is definitely a little black and white and generalizes things to make a point. The whole idea of the book is to lock in on your masculine energy and how to treat woman with a strong feminine energy. It comes off as kind of manipulative and paints the picture that women tend to act and think the same way.

The point I want to make is that it’s not bad to read books like this. Personally, I think you should read books that share different perspectives than your own. But if you choose to read all kinds of books, you need to be able to acknowledge when the ideas presented are against what you believe and not implement them. Simply because an author was able to publish a book does not mean what they write is the proper way to live.

When I read, I keep an open mind. I do often learn new techniques and gain knowledge from books, but at the same time, some books are there just to strengthen the beliefs I already have. If I don’t agree with what the author says, I’m able to think for myself and reaffirm my own perspectives. I take things at face value and use the information to rethink of how I proceed.

You don’t have to only read things that align with your beliefs. Explore anything that grabs your attention. Read with an open mind and go into it knowing the information isn’t necessarily correct for you. Let everything you read either teach you something new or show you your current thoughts are in a good place.

October 15, 2024

Skipping Steps

You can’t skip steps. In order to form life-long friendships, find success in your career, and achieve your fitness goals, you have to follow the steps.

I’ve realized I’ve had a hard time making friends since I left college. I’ve struggled to form that deep connection I have with the people from school with anyone new. Oftentimes when I meet new people, it just feels surface level friendly. If it weren’t for the bar, work, or the gym we’d never actually hangout. We enjoy talking when we see each other, but then we never talk when we’re away.

Most of the people I’ve met never have conversations about their personal life outside of the basics of work and what’s new. We don’t talk about our goals, fears, past experiences, or family. It all just feels like an excuse to pass the time.

I think the issue I’m facing is trying to compare a friendship built over 8 years to one that just started 3 months ago. I’m trying so hard to fill the void of not seeing my college friends that I expect a new acquaintance to be at the same level. I’m trying to skip all the steps it takes to meet a new person, talk to them, hang out, learn about them, go through shit together, and everything else it takes to form a real bond.

You can’t skip these steps just because you want the outcome. Not with friendship, starting a business, igetting in shape, or anything that’s meaningful. You have to start at the beginning like everyone else. Of course learning from the past decisions of others can guide you and help speed the process, but you still have to do the work.

If you want to build anything meaningful, you have to put in the effort. You can’t skip the hard shit, you can’t ignore steps, you can’t expect to be perfect. This shit takes time and consistent effort. So put in the work and build slowly.

October 14, 2024

Nothing’s Set in Stone

Nothing’s set in stone. The world around us is ever changing and you are too. Never be stuck in your ways or refuse to change your habits.

I’ve been strongly considering going back to eating animal products on a regular basis. For the past 3 years, I’ve been mostly vegan – cooking vegan meals but eating things like burgers and chicken when I’m out. It’s made me feel pretty good health wise and I never thought I’d go back to old ways. Recently though, I’ve been having this feeling of switching back and seeing how it affects me and my fitness journey.

I’m thinking of starting slowly – meal prepping one or two meat meals a week with the rest being vegan, then seeing how my body responds. Maybe it’ll make me feel great and I’ll see benefits in the gym. Maybe I’ll feel like garbage and want to stop. There’s no way to know without trying.

This makes me realize how much a person changes over the years. With all the things that happen in your life over the course of weeks and months, you slowly change your thoughts and perspectives on things. With that, you should try being open to altering your major habits like diet and exercise. You don’t want to be so stuck in your ways that you never try new things because without experimenting, you won’t know if you’re doing what’s best for you.

It’s all about working with the current version of yourself. This version of you is not the same person as the one that made the initial change. If you feel like trying something new, consider it, try it, and reevaluate. Just because you’ve done something for a long time doesn’t mean you have to continue.

We’re always changing and should always be trying to learn more about ourselves. It’s so important to focus your attention inward and see what you can be doing differently. It doesn’t matter what other people think, as long as you’re not affecting others. If your body is telling you something, listen to it.

You never have to be the same person you were 5 years ago, 5 months ago, 5 weeks ago, or even yesterday. You are free to make changes as often as you feel is necessary. Doing so makes life more interesting and leads you towards the best version of yourself. So try new habits and see what happens. You can always go back if you find they don’t add to your life.

October 13, 2024

Unexpected Consequences

Do you ever make a change in your routine that you presume will benefit you, only to find it actually fucks you up? That’s what life is all about!

I recently decided to do my 45 minute walk outside first thing in the morning instead of after the gym. My thought was it’d be nice to get it over with, I’ll burn calories doing it fasted, it’ll split up my two workouts and help my body rest, and I’ll have more free time in the afternoon.

All those things are true. I definitely prefer getting the walk over with, however, I faced and unexpected consequence. I am no longer sleeping well.

Now, I’m not 100% sure if this is the case, but my immediate hypothesis was that this is the result of no longer getting adequate sunlight. I’m well aware of how beneficial it is to be in the sun every day to regulate your vitamin D as well as sleep cycle, but with fall coming, there’s no sunrise while I walk.

I never anticipated such a drastic response to my changed routine. I was always feeling well rested and then tired right before bed. I was falling asleep quickly and getting 8 hours, but that hasn’t been the case since the switch.

So the lesson here is, sometimes when you think you’re doing something beneficial, you may receive unexpected consequences. When this happens, you have to make a choice by weighing your options. Do the benefits of one lead to a better life than what you were doing before? This is how you learn and grow. By trying new things and seeing what happens.

For my situation, sleep is way more important than all the benefits I see from doing my walk in the morning. Proper rest is a major requirement for my mental health and recovery, especially during 75 Hard. So with that, I’ll be going back to afternoon walks, unless my schedule requires it to be in the morning.

Don’t be afraid to try new routines. Just be aware of how the change affects you and make a choice to continue or try something different.

October 12, 2024

Anything Can Happen

Anything can happen. Anything that does happen will be manageable and I will come out ahead.

That’s the kind of mindset you need to make it through life. You need to know that you cannot predict how the Universe will play out, but that no matter how it does, you’ll make it through.

We try so hard to plan for the future – we prepare, get our hopes up, save money, overthink every little detail… but how often does life play out exactly as you planned for?

The answer is rarely for me. So in order to “prepare”, all I can do is know that nothing will stop me and nothing can phase me. Sure there are things I’d like to happen, but sometimes I have no say in whether they do or not. All I can do is respond to how the Universe chooses to place the present moment before me. Of course this isn’t always easy. I have expectations, hopes, and desires for plans being made, the shift ahead of me, free time during the week, and so much more. But sometimes these things don’t play out like I initially anticipated.

You can spend all your time dwelling on how things happen or you can accept it and do what needs to be done. Honestly, there’s not really anything else you can do if you’re trying to improve your mindset. The initial shock of the unexpected moment may suck, but after that jolt of emotion, you have to catch yourself and refocus.

Life won’t play out how you want or hope, but with the right view of the world, that’s just fine. Have faith that life is working for you and that every change of plan, obstacle, and failure is lewading you towards something better. You will make it through if you focus on your response to the world and try your best to be good.

October 11, 2024

Why I Love Challenges

The other day, I was asked why I enjoy doing challenges like 75 Hard so much. At first I said it’s because these challenges make life more fun and exciting. When they asked for the more deep rooted answer, it got me thinking, and I came up with something interesting.

It’s no surprise I love doing outlandish challenges throughout the year – Dopamine Fasts, 75 Hard, strict diets, a blog a day, no caffeine, going vegan… I genuinely love changing my routine in crazy ways to see what I’m capable of. But why?

I think it’s because when I was growing up, I was often praised for the things I did. The times I remember were while playing baseball and my art. I never believe I was good at baseball and I was never happy with my artwork, so hearing how amazing I was at these things never felt right to me. Because of that, I’ve always wanted to do things that make me feel proud of myself. If no one were there to witness them, I’d continue doing them because they made me feel good.

I attempt challenges like 75 Hard because I want to prove to myself I’m strong and disciplined. When I tell people about it and they’re shocked by the commitment, I know I’m doing something important for my development. When I paint, I create art that I’m happy with. There are tons of unfinished pieces in my apartment that the world will never see. I try to be the best barista I can be not so other people recognize me, but so I feel good about what I’m doing.

This self reflection solidifies my opinion on the pointlessness of external validation. No matter what other people say, if you’re not happy with what you create, you’re not finished. People can say you’re in great shape over and over, but if you’re not happy yet, you should keep going. This isn’t to say there aren’t limits. Sometimes perfectionism gets in the way and poor self image prevents you from feeling good.

My mindset is this – challenge yourself and produce work that you’re proud of. Be proud of who you are now with everything you have. Always try to be better, but never beat yourself up over these things.As long as you’re trying and feel good about what you’re doing, you’reon the right path.

October 10, 2024

The Simplicity of Action

Doing the thing is actually easy. It’s overcoming the thoughts that are telling you not to that’s the hard part.

I considered this on my early morning walk before work. This morning, I woke up at 4:30, got ready, drove to work, and walked before my shift. As I was walking I realized the action isn’t actually that difficult, but all the excuses I make before are the worst part to deal with.

Think about it – it’s not hard to walk a mile, it’s not hard to go to bed and wake up early, it’s not hard to count calories, go to the gym, read ten pages, talk to a stranger, etc. The actual action is usually simple, but being able to work through the thoughts leading up to the action is rarely easy.

When there’s something you need to do or know you should do, your brain will try convincing you to not do it. Your brain will come up with every excuse for you to continue doing what you’ve been doing. I don’t even have to list them here, you know exactly what I mean. At this point, you know you need to try new things in order to grow. You gotta challenge yourself in order to see what you’re capable of. In order to do that, you have to shut the brain down or simply perform the action anyway.

If you allow the brain to keep you in bed all morning instead of doing cardio, you won’t build your endurance and physique. If the brain tells you to relax instead of writing a blog and you listen, you will never gain traction. Any time you let the brain win, you stay stagnant. When you heawr the thoughts, but defy them, you grow stronger.

Anxiety and overthinking have no place in a self improvement journey. If you know there are things you need to be doing, do them. Disregard your mind’s impulse to keep you where you are. Change your life by doing.

October 9, 2024

New Experiences

What’s something simple that scares you simply because it’s new? It can be something so easy and yet you make every excuse not to do it. Maybe today is the day to try it and prove to yourself that you take things too seriously.

It should come as no surprise that I love coffee shops. I love the vibes of well caffeinated people, free flowing conversations, hard work getting done, books being finished, relaxtion for those that needed a break. I love the sounds of the espresso machine、the coffee grinders, clinking mugs. I love every aspect of them. So why am I afraid to go to one?

Honestly, there’s no clear answer other than because it’s a new experience. There’s a part of me that fears new places because there are so many unknowns. Will there be open tables, what’s the WiFi password, what are the drink sizes, is the coffee good… it’s such simple things, but it keeps me going back to the same places over and over.

I’m literally writteng this blog in my notes section because I’m too nervous to ask for the Wifi. One step at a time!

Before coming to a new shop today, I went through all the excuses trying to talk myself out of it. I cleaned and remodeled my entire apartment this morning just to pass time. As I left the gym, I considered just going to my own place of work because I know it well. But after much deliberation, I came to the new shop. 

Of course it’s not a big deal at all. I’m sitting here, I finished reading a book, I’m writing a blog, and I’m experiencing a new environment. Now that I’m here, there’s a sense of relief and pride within me after doing something new. So it makes me wonder what else I’m scared to do that should be no problem at all.

Our brains get so worked up over the littlest things. The flow of thoughts that come before trying something new can be exhausting and enough to prevent action. It’s so easy to talk ourselves out of new experiences. The problem is, new experiences are what we need to keep growing.

To develop yourself, you can’t continue doing the same things you’ve been doing. You need to challenge yourself, try new things, make mistakes, and learn what you’re capable of. It doesn’t take crazy commitments to prove yourself. Sometimes all you need is to go to a new coffee shop.

So consider something you’re not trying simply because it’s new to you. Make an effort to try it out today or this week. Prove to yourself that your excuses are pointless and there’s nothing to fear.

October 8, 2024

Start Your Day Right

There’s something freeing and empowering about starting your day off with an accomplishment. Setting the mood for the day with a win can be life altering.

I’m starting the switch to morning walks for the remainder of 75 Hard. I’ve done my walk first thing a few times now and every time I do, I feel way better about the day ahead. It’s so nice knowing half my workouts for the day are already done before I even go to work. I feel energized, my body’s loosened up, and I’m hyped to only have a gym session left.

It’ll kinda suck waking up even earlier just to fit a walk in, but I know it’s only temporary and the relief will be worth it. Separating my two workouts will likely feel easier and way less daunting than doing them back to back after a long day of work.

It’s similar to the idea of creating small wins in the morning – making your bed, cleaning up after your breakfast, following a healthy morning ritual. You set the course of the day by accomplishing something important right away. It feels great knowing you performed something good before life starts coming at you.

You don’t have to go for a long walk right when you wake up, but try completing an important task in the morning. Do something you typically don’t want to do, something that may be challenging. Doing so will prove your discipline to yourself and make you feel better for the entire day to come. Give it a shot and see how it changes you.

October 7, 2024

Know What You Want

Know what you want, then release it into the Universe. There’s no need for excess thoughts or anxiety because you know what you’re striving for.

I’m trying something new and I’m going to see how it works for me. I’ve found that I’m overthinking a lot of circmstances before they play out in the real world. As we all know, you can never predict the future and the brain usually comes up with worst case scenarios which lead to anxiety.

When I dwell on how I want things to play out, I rehearse everything in my head for way too much time. I solidify exactly how I’ll act and respond to the situation. But what ends up happening is nothing like I envisioned. It almost always ends up better than I thought and the interactions I feared don’t play out.

So I considered how I could work with this. I realized I know exactly what I want, but the path to getting there is the unknown part. There’s no reason for me to plan out my next steps because I have no clue what tomorrow brings. So instead of sitting alone inside my own head, replaying all the possible scenarios, I simply remind myself of the final goal and release it. When thoughts arise again, I acknowledge them, but don’t feed them.

Your days will play out in unexpected ways. No amount of rehearsal will prepare you for what’s to come, so it’s better to respond to the Universe as it unfolds in front of you. You always keep your end goal in mind and let that drive your current decisions and actions. When a new challenge arises, you consider the options and choose the one that feels right in the moment. You consider which action will put you closer to your goal.

You shouldn’t expect to always make the “right” move, although some would say every move you make is the right one. You can’t be perfect because you can’t know how the decisions you make play out in the long run. All you can do is try your best and do what you feel is right.

It’s not easy to shut your brain off when it starts coming up with scenarios, but keeping your goal in mind can help. If you have faith everything will work out how it’s meant to, there should be no fear and no need for anxiety. Know what you want, make it clear to yourself, release it, then respond to the present moment in ways that lead you to that goal.

October 6, 2024

You’re Not as Strong as You Believe

You can think you have it all figured out, have your mindset rock solid, emotions in check, ready for anything, but then you get hit with the unexpected.

Just when I thought I had my head back on straight and had learned all the lessons I needed to learn, it all came right back. I truly believed I was seeing everything clearly and logically, but of course that’s when the Universe tested me. Unfortunately, I’m not where I need to be yet.

I’m going through some completely new experiences in my life – ones I’ve never had to work through in the past. I have no knowledge on how these things play out, what emotions I’m going to feel, how I’m going to work through them, or how to make things work out in the best way possible. Just like with learning anything new, you can’t expect to have all the answers and to perform perfectly from the start.

This fact can suck sometimes. When your emotions are involved in new ways, they hit you like a ton of bricks. Unlike all those times you’ve practiced being a Stoic in your daily life and you’ve developed a healthy view of the world, there are things that you can’t fully prepare for. You’re going to run into challenges that break you down the first few times. You have to experience all the thoughts and all the emotions in order to learn.

It fuckin sucks. You feel like a dumbass. You question why you feel this way when you can reason through so many other things. You’re gonna get angry, sad, heartbroken, and deal with so many other negative emotions you wish you could skip. That’s what happens when there’s something you need to learn about yourself.

No matter how strong you believe you are, something is powerful enough to bring you to your knees. You will collapse under the weight and feel like you were never a strong person to begin with. Just know that’s not the case. When you’re pushed to the ground, feel every single emotion, never act on them, and fight back against the oppressor by telling yourself you’ll make it through.

Nothing can stop you from becoming a better version of yourself. Obstacles can only get in the way temporarily. You have to face them head on and know you will overcome them no matter what. It won’t be easy, but it will teach you so much about yourself. So keep fighting and never let new challenges break you down for good.

October 5, 2024

Lead by Example

I love the idea of leading by example. There’s something inspiring about watching someone do something impressive and wanting to do it yourself. 

My 75 Hard journey started because of the results my friend had from doing it. While he was going through it, I didn’t think much of it besides “maybe I’ll do that someday”. But when I saw his results by the end, I was hooked. 

You can know all the best ways to perform a task, but if people don’t see the results, they won’t follow. You have to practice what you preach and let the outcomes dish for themselves. No about of talk about doing 75 Hard will be enough to inspire someone, but when people watch you and witness your accomplishments, everything changes. 

I never tell people what they should do because that never flips the switch in their brain. If something works for me, I keep doing it and let people witness. When they like what they see, they follow your example. 

So stop telling people what to do and trying to convince them. If something works for you, keep doing it and let them choose their next actions. Prove how beneficial your fitness routine, philosophy, habits, and processed are by doing them. If they get inspired, hell yeah. If not, maybe you got them thinking about their own way to be better. 

October 4, 2024

It’s Your Fault

Blame yourself for everything that happens in your life. It’s the best way to become ia better person.

Maybe “blame” isn’t the best word, so let’s say, “take responsibility for everything that happens in your life.” I was just doing some more thinking about my money being stolen (A Robbery) and realized I default to blaming myself for everything that goes “wrong”. With more thought, I’m kinda proud of this.

When something goes against my expectation or an incidence happens like my money gets stolen, I take on the responsibility. I almost never blame other people and instead understand that I did something I shouldn’t have.

Sure, it’s my apartment and I should be able to leave my money where I please, but I should’ve been more cautious, taken it to the bank earlier, hidden it, whatever. With the loneliness and relationship struggles I went through a few weeks ago, I could’ve blamed other people, but I decided to reflect on my own behavior. It was foolish to grow so attached so quickly, to read into everything, to act differently than my true self, to put so much stock into one thing.

Blaming other people is easy. Doing this takes all the weight off your shoulders and allows you to move along without changing anything. It’s nt your problem, it’s theirs. They caused all this, you were just responding accordingly. You did nothing wrong and still got burned. The universe must hate you.

You know what’s not easy? Taking full responsibility. Being able to experience hardship and fully embrace it as a lesson. Looking at yourself and the mirror and understanding where you went wrong. Not judging yourself or getting angry, but acknowledging your faults and doing something about it.

Blaming everyone and everything else gets you nowhere. Taking responsibility can make you better. When you understand where you messed up and consider ways to change it if presented again in the future, you’re headed in the right direction. Blaming yourself is the way to learn from your mistakes.

As the saying goes, life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us. So stop blaming everyone except yourself. Take responsibility and fix it.

October 3, 2024

Thoughts are Dogs

It’s wild to consider how many thoughts run through my brain on a daily basis, and how few of them I remember. There are times when I catch myself several minutes into a spiral of thoughts and ask myself “What was I just thinking about?” It goes to show how easy it is to get lost in your head for no real reason and miss out on everything that’s happening around you.

Most of the time, I actually quite like getting lost in thought. I enjoy thinking of solutions to problems, things I’m reading about, ideas for ETT Coffee, blogs, and so on. As much fun as it is, I still want to be in control of my thinking. To me it’s similar to training a dog – if you want the dog to do one thing, you can’t let it do the opposite and expect it to learn.

With thoughts, you can’t let your mind wander when you’re in a good mood then expect to be able to be present when you’re in a bad mood. If you don’t train your mind to detach from all thoughts, the negative ones will just flow endlessly. Even in the moments when you’re coming up with great ideas, you should be taking a moment to turn it off, focus on your breath, feeling your body, and experiencing the world around you. If you don’t, it’ll be that much harder to control your mind when negativity enters the picture.

So wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, remember to bring the attention back to the present. Whether the thoughts in your head are enjoyable or not, you have to remember who’s in control. With consistent effort and practice, you’ll find your thoughts are always there, but they don’t hold as much weight.

October 2, 2024

A Robbery – Lessons in Ownership

The Stoics make it clear that nothing in this world is ours. We don’t own anything, it is simply in our possession for a brief time. So we should not grow attached to anything, for one day it will no longer be with us.

Today, I discovered my apartment was robbed. I have a cup at my place where I store my rip money. Usually it is well hidden, but I was planning to take it to the bank, so I pulled it our and counted it. I forgot to take it with me, left in on the counter, a maintenance person came in for my AC, now half the money is gone.

Now, I do take part of the blame – there’s no reason for me to leave cash just out in the open. I will admit, I have a little too much faith in society sometimes. Either way, the money is gone, I’m a little bummed, but this is just another Stoic test.

The only thing I could do was report the incident, so I did. There’s no way for me to get the money back myself, no way to go back in time, there’s nothing else I can do. I honestly have already accepted the fact that the money is gone forever. Luckily it wasn’t hundreds of dollars and I’m not in desperate need of cash, but it would’ve been a nice boost in my bank account.

This to me is how Stoics need to think about everything they possess. If you detach yourself from everything you “own”, you won’t be heartbroken or phased if you lose them. Favorite coffee mugs break, money gets stolen, clothes are ruined, cars break down, relationships end… everything is finite and we only control how we view these things and how we respond when they disappear.

There’s nothing wrong with loving the things you have, but you cannot be so attached that the thought of losing them tears you apart. Nothing is ever really yours except your thoughts. So learn to view things in a logical light and never become engrossed in things. Nothing lasts forever, nothing is truly yours, so don’t act like you have control over it.

October 1, 2024

Make a Choice

Give yourself a choice between two positive options. Never make the choice be a negative versus a positive.

My back has been hurting again while I walk. It’s likely in part because I increased the weight of the vest, but I think it’s also just from the fact that I’ve been walking every day. Whatever the case, I still have to do my outside workout every day, so I need to work around it.

Today I had to make a choice. Since my back was sore, even after stretching, I had to choose if I was going to wear the vest or not. But the real choice, the kind that I want to discuss in this blog was this – if I wear the vest, I can walk based on time alone or I can forego the vest and walk further than I normally do.

There was never an option to not walk at all. I either had to walk with weight or walk further. I gave myself two productive options without one being necessarily easier than the other.

This is how any goal should be viewed. You know you should stay consistent and put in effort every day, but sometimes you don’t feel you can put everything you have into it. When those moments come, give yourself a choice. Not doing it is not an option. Neither choice can be easier than the other. Both should require effort and be equally challenging to choose between.

If you want to achieve big things, you have to progress consistently. A great way to do that is to never allow laziness to win by choosing to do nothing. Give yourself reasonable options that both put you a step in the right direction. It shouldn’t be easy. Doing the easy thing doesn’t amount to much. So challenge yourself every day and never let doing nothing be an option.

September 30, 2024

This Stuff’s Boring

This stuff’s boring as hell. It honestly sucks. Unfortunately, that’s what it takes to live a healthy lifestyle.

Tomorrow is the half way point of my 75 Hard journey and I’m tired of it. It’s gotten old and I’m bored of it. I want good food, I want to go out with friends for beer, and I want to rest. Those things aren’t in the cards right now though and in order to keep up this lifestyle after the fact, a lot of boring things are required.

A healthy lifestyle thrives off boring routines. It’s all about counting calories, eating good foods, refraining from alcohol, going to the gym, doing cardio, and so much more. If you want to be healthy, you have to be a little boring. That’s just the way it is.

I don’t think it has to be 100% boring though if you don’t want it to be. But if you choose to pull back a little, it just postpones your progress.

After all this is over, I’m going to enjoy some beer and unhealthy food here and there. I’m going to take days off from the gym and reduce my cardio drastically. That’s all fine in my eyes, but with that, I can’t be upset when I’m not in perfect shape, staying lean, and building muscle as quickly as I’d like.

It’s totally cool to enjoy your life as much as you can, but if you want to be healthy, you have to make some sacrifices and be boring more often than not. You can’t expect to be in top physical condition if you drink all the time, never lift weights, and never make healthy choices. If the majority of your time is invested in those habits that fuel your body, you can pull back sometimes.

It’s all about setting your priorities and deciding how much investment you want to put into achieving your goals. You choose how your life looks and the choices you make determine your results.

September 29, 2024

Will to Live

I recently learned about a part of the brain that’s thought to be responsible for willpower and it’s been altering the way I think.

While listening to a podcast the other day, they brought up a part of the brain called the anterior midcingulate cortex. They explained how when a person chooses to do something they don’t want to do, this area of the brain grows bigger. If a person continues to never do things they don’t want to do, the AMC stays the size size or gets smaller. Scientists say this is the structure responsible for not only willpower, but also the will to live.

This is fascinating to me, especially in th midst of 75 Hard. It just goes to show how important it is to challenge yourself on a regular basis and do the things you don’t want to do.

So now when I get absolutely destroyed by an insane 8 hour shift and want nothing to do with my workout and walk, I realize doing them both with improve my brain. When I once again resist the urge to drink a beer or cheat on my diet, my brain is altering its structure and benefitting me in the long run.

So what are you not doing because you don’t want to? Are you pushing off a diet, choosing to go home instead of the gym, eating a sweet treat? Consider how detrimental these choices can be for your long-term well being. Not only your physical health is at stake, but even your mental is at risk.

Do the shit you don’t want to do. Your willpower expands with effort and your will to live will do the same. Challenge yourself regularly and see the difference in your life.

September 28, 2024

Enough Learning

There’s a point in time when you need to stop learning, stop preparing, and start doing. The only way to achieve your goals is to do.

Today I finished a pretty mid book about self-love. The book was definitely intended for a different audience than me, but I stuck with it and read the whole thing. Sure there were some good points, but at this stage in my self-improvement journey, it was all pretty basic information.

This got me thinking about my progress and how far I’ve come. On the one hand, it’s awesome that I found this information obvious because that means I’ve already learned a lot of the lessons. On the other hand, it made me realize that even though I know all this information, I still chose to read the book as if it would teach me something about self-love that would make it easier for me to attain.

If I already have all the tools I need to love myself, why am I reading a book about it? After finishing the book, I realized the only thing I have left to do is do those things. It’s time to stop searching for more information and start acting.

We do this with a lot of habits and goals in our life. We spend so much time preparing to do the thing, but barely any time actually doing the thing. It’s scary starting something new, so we learn as much as we can to put ourself on the right course. But learning can only take you so far. Eventually you have to put the knowledge to work.

It’s beneficial to research before diving head first into something new, but you can’t go on researching and never try what you learned. Once you have a foundation from books, videos, articles, and other people, you have to continue your education by doing, making mistakes, and correcting.

The only way to accomplish anything is to act. No amount of reading will get you where you need to be. Sometimes you have to put the book down and try for yourself. Don’t postpone it anymore, just try.

September 27. 2024

New Habits Made Easy

Healthy habits are actually pretty easy to form… you just have to make it through a few hard weeks. But then it’ll be no problem.

I never took people seriously when they said it takes 21 days to form a new habit. That seemed too short a time frame to pick up something so new to you. I’ve even tried starting new habits like meditation, but they never seemed to stick. Now having completed day 34 of 75 Hard, I understand what you need to do for this rule to work.

Forming a new habit takes a few things – consistency, priority changes, effort, and patience. The first step is choosing the habit and it needs to be specific. Let’s say you want to drink a gallon of water every day, but right now, you’re lucky to drink a quarter of one. Next you have to commit and make drinking the water a priority. I find it helpful to break it down into how much water that is an hour (About 8oz if you’re awake for 16 hours).

Once you’ve figured that out, the hard part starts. You need to do it every day without fail, no mater what. You cannot make any excuses and you cannot skip any days. This is key because once you’ve successfully completed your goal for an extended period of time, you’ve likely done so through all the more challenging days you face in your life. You discover you can drink the water even when you’re rshing around doing errands, working all day, doing two workouts, going to events, etc.

If you can still drink the gallon of water on the hardest days, you can surely do it on the easy ones.

This is how all habits are formed, no matter the difficulty. No matter how drastic the lifestyle change is, if you commit to doing it every day for at least 3 weeks to a month, you’ll prove to yourself you can do it. Then once the new habit is engrained into your routine, you find a way to do it without fail, and it becomes second nature.

75 Hard has simply become my life. The first few weeks were a challenge with work, weird schedules, a wedding, and other obstacles, but I made it the priority and I got it done. Now that I’ve done it through all the hardest days, I know I can do it no matter what.

So pick a habit you want to add to your life. Break it down so it seems less daunting, then commit and make it a priority. Perfom the new habit every day without any excuses and prove to yourself you can do it in any situation you face. With enough time and patience, it becomes a part of your life. Once it’s easy, keep it going, then add more and repeat the process.

September 26, 2024

Finding Flow

Once you find those activities in your life that show you what present state awareness is, you’ll understand how wonderful it is. You’ll chase those activities all the time and do everything you can to be in that state.

Some would call it the Flow State. It’s those times when you’re fully focused on what’s in front of you. Thoughts come and go, but you rarely spend much time on them. Time passes quickly until something reminds you where you are like hunger or a phone call. You feel energized and happy with what you’re working on as though nothing else is going on around you.

It’s a wonderful state to be in and we should all strive to find the pursuits that give us a taste of presence. Today I really honed in on the feeling at the gym. I’ve been exploring new routines and trying to lock down form and mind-muscle connection because I want great results if I’m going to be doing this for 75 Days straight. When I focus fully on the muscle I’m working and the process from stretching to flexing, nothing else runs through my mind. After a few exercises, my 45 minutes is already up and I feel like I just arrived.

Usually this present state comes when I paint or draw. Once I get into it, hours pass by and I think of nothing but what I’m working on. I often reach this point when I write blogs, read, and chat with friends. There are so many opportunities to discover presence, but a lot of the time we don’t know where to look.

You won’t know when it happens until you know what you’re looking for. Now that you’re aware of this present state, you can start to discover your own Flow State activities. Find those things you do that make you feel amazing and pull you away from the constant ambush of your thoughts. If you don’t know of any right now, start exploring.

Call your best friend, go to the gym, take a walk, make art, brew coffee, try anything you’re drawn to and see how it feels. Once you discover the activities that give you the bliss of presence, you’ll never want to experience anything else and you’ll prioritize these moments over distractions.

September 25, 2024

Stack the Odds

Stack the odds in your favor. Hone in on the habits that put you at the top of your game and do everything you can to repeat them every day.

In our hectic lives, a lot is out of our control. With Stoicism in mind, we know we should focus on what is in our control. Really all we have is our mind and the mind determines how we perceive all these uncontrollable events.

How do you give your mind the best chance of seeing things clearly and Stoically? Improve your habits and pursue those that strengthen your mind and body.

For me, eating well, drinking water, limited caffeine, 8ish hours of sleep, pursuing passions, and consistent exercise lead to a clear mind. I have plenty of energy and my outlook on the world is much better when I follow these habits routinely. It’s when one or more is thrown off that my whole mood changes.

It’s no surprise that making healthy choices leads to beneficial outcomes. The things you fuel your body with create the life you live. If you prioritize your health, both mental and physical, life will be drastically different.

When you can think clearly, a lot of the things you feared or resented don’t cut as deeply. When your body is energized, you feel unstoppable. Everything changes when you focus on what’s best for your wellbeing.

If you feel like your life is a battle and nothing goes your way, pull your focus back to your habits. Your mind is the only resource you have control over, so do everything you can to improve it. Prioritize your health and do everything in your power to consistently make the choices that lead to clarity.

September 24, 2024

Don’t Dread the Rain

Don’t dread the rain, you never know when it may end. Do your best to banish your anxiety of trivial things because you have no idea how they’ll actually play out.

It was a rainy day today and was going to stay like that all day, so of course I dreaded the walk I was going to have to take outside. The thought kept popping into my head as I sat and read during my treatment. I knew it would be fine in the end, it’d be a great act of Stoicism to walk in the rain, but I wasn’t hyped about it.

My other source of nervousness came from a phone call I needed to make. I opened a new savings account a few months ago and I’ve had nothing but issues with it. I was at the point was I was ready to close it down and find another account. I feared the call, because I planned to be more harsh than I’m used to in order to get my grievances across. As I went to make the call, my nerves were out of control and I could feel the tingling through my entire body.

Here’s the thing, when it was time to walk, the rain had stopped and it was a nice cool day. When I made the call, the representative I talked with was immensely friendly and helpful. So after all that anxiety and all that time thinking, both worked out better than I could’ve hoped.

There’s no way to predict how life is going to play out, but as humans, we always try to do so anyway. Unfortunately, the stories we create in our mind ted to be poor. We imagine all that could go wrong and how that’ll affect our life. We work ourselves up over the things that we have to do before we even do them and we freak ourselves out over the results that may not happen.

As hard as it is, when you have to do something, you can’t let your mind linger on what could go wrong. Thinking of the negatives will do nothing but lead to inaction and unnecessary anxiety. Don’t waste your time playing scenarios out in your mind. There’s no way to predict what’s going to happen.

Take it moment by moment and trust you have all the tools under your belt to accomplish anything you need to do.

September 23, 2024

Odd Choices

It’s weird how your decisions start to change as you prioritize your health. Don’t be surprised if you start making choices you’ve never made before.

I won’t lie, my body is quite tired from this challenge. It’s been a long 30 days with some easy ones, but also some super tough days sprinkled in. A lot of days, the last thing I want to do is go to the gym or walk in the heat. Since it’s a requirement though, I do it.

Even though I am exhausted, I’ve noticed some interesting changes in my actions. Today made me want to write about it because it was so different than anything I would’ve done before this challenge started.

I did my walk before work then the gym right after. I was tired and ready to rest, but my family was doing dinner down the road. For some reason, my gut was telling me to walk instead of drive. It was likely because my weight has stalled and I want to be consistently losing a little each week. I put on my vest and walked the quarter mile to the house.

I was so surprised by this choice because if you had asked me even a month ago, I would’ve driven 9 times out of 10. Since starting 75 Hard though, I’ve realized how far I’m capable of walking and shorter distances seem like nothing to me anymore.

I’ve noticed my cravings change, my water intake increase, my caffeine consumption decrease, and a lot of other minor switches. Since making this challenge a priority and trying my best to see amazing results, my habits have changed in lots of ways.

If you look at your life now and want to make drastic changes, it will probably feel daunting. It makes sense – you’ve been living this way for so long, it seems crazy to picture yourself doing anything else. The key is starting and making your priorities clear. You don’t need to have everything figured out from the beginning. With time and consistent effort, the habits start forming naturally.

So figure out what you want and how you can start as soon as possible – today would be ideal. Don’t worry too much about all the other habits you need to pick up in order to reach your goal, just start and let your mindset and habits slowly develop as you continue to progress.

September 22, 2024

Learning to Walk

I’ve never walked this much in my life. 28 walks, roughly 40 miles total, in 29 days. If it’s taught me one thing, I’ve been walking wrong.

You may think you know how to do something properly, but have you ever looked into where you can improve? Take something you do on a regular basis that feels habitual and easy to just do. Is there something you could be doing better? You may be surprised at what you find if you focus on improving.

Walking isn’t the easiest for me since I walk on my toes. I’ve never enjoyed walking and I’d rather use any other form of transportation if given the option. Since starting 75 Hard, walking has been a staple, so I needed to get better at it in order to struggle less. As the days progressed, I started focusing on how I was walking – my pacing, how my feet hit and leave the ground, my posture, etc. I broke the entire process down to its components and tried to improve each of them.

It seems like such a simple activity, I’ve been walking for 26 years, but I realized there were things I could change to make it easier and less taxing. As my lower back starts hurting, I focus on straightening my posture and relaxing the muscles. I slow down my steps and make sure I’m not rolling my feet as the hit the ground. I take smaller steps to put less pressure on my calfs. I change a lot.

You may not think something as simple as walking can have room for improvement, but if you do something enough and you try something that makes it easier, you question everything. It’s important to be open-minded to new methods for everything, even the activities that are second nature. There’s always components that you can hone in on and improve.

Break down the things in your life that are habitual and try something different. It may not be better the first few tries, you may find your method is the best, but it’s fun to try. You never know what you may discover.

September 21, 2024

No Pain, No Gain

It finally happened. For the first time since starting 75 Hard, I got a migraine. Days like these – the ones when you question how you’ll do it, are the days that make or break your progress and discipline.

I woke up with a horrible pain in my left eye and I knew it was going to be a rough day in front of me. I did my best to get ready, drive to work, and open the shop. It was no easy task and I did not want to be there, but I knew it’d only last a couple hours. My work flow was much slower because I didn’t feel steady on my feet, I was nauseous, tired, and irritable, but I fought through.

Ever fiber of my being wanted to call in sick to sleep it off and the entire morning was spent dreading my later workout and walk, but I fought the urge to rest. Eventually the pain wore off and I was feeling alright minus a little dehydration, but I still was making excuses to skip the workouts. I didn’t of course and it sucked, but I’m not quitting.

You gotta fight through some days. If you have responsibilities and goals to achieve, obstacles cannot stop you. You can’t expect every day to be perfect and easy. You need to be willing to adapt, adjust, and work through hardship. It’s going to suck, but that’s what it takes.

Do everything in your power to get the job done no matter what. Take it slow, one step at a time, and do whatever is right in front of you to the best of your ability. It may not be your best work, but it has to be done. Fight through and stay consistent.

September 20, 2024

Do it Slow

On the days when you don’t feel like you can do it at all – do it slow. When you’re so exhausted you don’t think you can walk – do it slow. As long as you’re doing it, it doesn’t matter how fast you go.

I messed up my routine a little yesterday and it resulted in me not having lunch for today. I had to postpone breakfast and eat it before the gym. After going to the gym and using up those calories, I dreaded the walk right after. I was beat and ready to just head home. But I put on the weighted vest and walked at a pace I could handle.

I didn’t make it as far as I typically do, I didn’t sweat as much, I wasn’t as wiped out at the end – but I still did it. I stayed out there for 45 minutes and walked. I did it slow, but it got done.

It doesn’t matter how slow you progress as long as you are. It can take you years to achieve your goal while another person did it in months. Who cares? Go at the pace you need to as long as you’re working at it every day. Take all the time you need and put in as much effort as you can muster.

September 19, 2024

Anger vs Rationality

Never act in a state of anger. Take the time to cool down, think, and come back at another time.

My friends have been an immense help over the past few weeks. Most recently, when I was going through my angry stage of the five stages of grief, my friend talked with me and brought me back to rational thinking.

Anger is a crazy emotion and I really do not like feeling it. Luckily it’s rare for me after practicing Stoicism for a while, but I still experience it. Anger makes me abandon all rationality and come up with outlandish solutions to my problems. I want to cut people out of my life, lock myself in my apartment, be alone, scream, and curse the Universe.

When anger strikes, we need to acknowledge it’s presence and prevent its escape. If we let it control or action, it leads to poor decisions and regret. The only way to do that is to take time to return to your normal, non-emotional state. That takes time and a lot of presence.

After talking with my friend and coming up with a rational plan, I felt much more sure of what I need to do from here. I started thinking logically about the situation and what I want the future to look like. I wrote down my thoughts and have been taking a couple days to self reflect. I know what needs to be done, now it’s just a matter of doing it.

The next time you feel anger rise, catch it early and stop it in its tracks. The emotion will be there, but you cannot act on it. Do everything in your power to make it through the situation then take some time to cool down. Don’t make any decisions in the moment. Wait until you’re thinking logically again.

September 17, 2024

Gratitude for 75 Hard

75 Hard came at the best possible time in my life. For that, I’m immensely grateful.

When I first started this challenge, I wrote The Perfect Time to discuss how there’s never a perfect moment to do something, so you should start now. When I wrote that post, I had no idea just how grateful I’d be to be in the midst of this discipline challenge in just a few more weeks.

If you’ve been keeping up with the blogs, you may be concerned for my mental health – let me assure you, I’m doing just fine. My blogs may make it all seem worse than it is, but that’s because I often write in the thick of it, when my mind is buzzing. I won’t say I’m doing great of course because I have had some rough days, but this is why I’m so hyped to be doing 75 Hard.

I’ve been imagining how different my life and mental health would be right now if I had been following the shitty routine I had been for months. If I was working full time, going home and wasting the evening away, not doing anything productive, and drinking beer regularly, I would not be doing as well as I am now.

This challenge has been the perfect outlet for all the negative energy I’ve needed to release. I wouldn’t call it a distraction because I’m still experiencing all these emotions, but instead of spending hours alone in my apartment, dwelling on all the thoughts, I’m using expending the energy into physical activities. The jitters of anxiety dissolve as I walk, the anger pushes out more reps, and the extra hours of sleep give my mind and body the rest I need to be prepared for the next day.

The part I’m happiest about is not turning to alcohol as a vice to numb my emotions. It’s not that I was drinking a ton before, but it was more than I wanted for the healthy lifestyle I desire. So knowing that I can work through these things without alcohol is liberating.

This entire challenge has taught me so many lessons and I’m only a third of the way through. In hindsight, I couldn’t have asked for a better time to start. I’m seeing just how tough a person can be in the heat of battle and how investing your energy into improving yourself can be the relief you need from turmoil.

I cannot wait to see where the rest of this challenge takes me and to see how much more I learn about myself in the next 50 days. It’s going to be taxing and I won’t always be hyped, but it’s going to be worth it.

September 16, 2024

Snap Back to Reality

You don’t realize how easily you can fall out of the present moment. It’s also pretty easy to snap back into in, you just may not realize when you do it.

I was on my walk today, dealing with some more stressful thoughts and complicated emotions. My music was bumpng in my ears, likely fueling more negative thoughts. I was fully focused on my mind spinning and not being present at all. That’s when someone waved me down and said something to me.

I took my headphones off and immediately snapped into the moment. There were no negative thoughts, no hatred or anger on my face, just my typical friendly self. We chatted for a couple minutes then went our separate ways. Almost as soon as the music started again, so did the thoughts.

This made me realize how quickly we can get swept up by the waves of our thoughts and emotions. If we do nothing to stop them, they’ll just keep coming and the more we fuel them, the more severe they become. But clearly it’s possible to snap out of it and focus on what’s right in front of you.

Our thoughts and emotions can be exhausting, but we don’t always try to slow them and put them to rest. Sometimes it feels like we have no control, they just come and go as they please based on what’s happening. The key to control is to be aware and making a choice.

We do have control of how far we let the thoughts go. If something pops into our head, we can notice it and nip it in the bud. They’ll keep trying to come back, but we always have the power to try preventing the spiral.

It may seem difficult, but I guarantee you’ve done it before and not realized it. Becoming aware of your thoughts and knowing you have power of them is the first step. So next time you start spiraling, try just listening without judgement and without adding more fuel to the fire.

September 15, 2024

Acknowledge Progress

Acknowledge every bit of progress you notice in your life. No matter how insignificant you believe it is, every step forward is huge.

I may not feel perfect. I still have a lot of negative thoughts, questions, and unwanted desires surrounding this situation in my life. As much as these suck and I want them all gone, I’m not nearly as bad as I was.

I’ve noticed the incremental changes over the past couple days alone. The thoughts pop up less frequently, I more quickly think rationally and explain away the questions and hopes, and slowly but surely, I feel my value and self love growing. All the negative is still there, but the severity is dimishing.

It can be challenging to not be where you want to be and not feel whole like you once were. It sucks having those days where everything feels like shit and like you’ll never return to your best self. In these moments, noticing the progress you’ve made can be a game changer.

No matter the circumstance, you can always find something you’ve improved upon. The key is to not label them as small, insignificant, unnoticeable, etc. Any amount of progress is progress. That’s what matters.

I know it’s not always easy, but you’re getting there. With every day that passes, as long as you’re trying, you’re finding your way out of the weeds. Don’t be so hard on yourself, never criticize the speed you’re moving at. Be your own number one supporter. Encourage your own progress and reward yourself by acknowledging your improvement whenever you can.

You’re crushing it and you’re going to come out on top. Don’t stop trying. Keep pushing and keep improving.

September 14, 2024

Use it as Fuel

There are days when you just know you’re going to win. When those days come, use them to your advantage.

When I tell you I had more motivation yesterday than ever before, I ain’t fibbing. I was so pumped up, I felt unstoppable. In part, I was fueled by anger, which I’m not proud of, but there was a flip in my brain that told me I was going to win. With every fiber of my being, I knew I was going to make it out of this anxious period stronger than ever. I knew I was going to finish 75 Hard looking and feeling better than I ever had before.

I used every ounce of this motivation to take on my day. I added weight to my vest, walked faster and further, I added weight to my lifts, I did extra sets, I wrote my blog without hesitation, and I felt good throughout all of it. I knew deep within me that what I’m dealing with right now sucks, but none of it matters. All of it will pass and all I have to do is keep going, keep pushing myself, and become a better version of me in every way possible.

Unfortunately, not every day is like this. Even today, some negative thoughts and overthinking came into the picture, but I reminded myself of how incredible yesterday felt and reminded myself of what I need to do. The motivation will come and go, but the lessons you learn in the moments of high should be enough to push you through the lows.

When you feel like you’re on top of the world, don’t squander it. Use everything in you to push yourself and progress further. Listen to the positivity in your head, believe it when you tell yourself you’re going to win, know you’re going to make it through anything that tries to stop you.

Use the energy you feel to your advantage and remind yourself of it when you don’t think you have what it takes. You will win and you will make it out if you push yourself, focus on your improvement, and stay consistent.

September 13, 2024

Universal Guidance

As I go through the five stages of grief, I have begun looking to the Universe to send me signs. Is this crazy? Pointless? Or could it be exactly what this crazy kid needs in?

First, a little context. A movie my college group often mentions is John Dies at the End (very weird, but highly recommend). In the movie the explain time as an ocean, not linear, but happening all at once. They also talk about synchronicities – like when you start reading a new book and someone at the grocery store mentions the author to their friend as you pass by.

You’ve likely noticed similar events like this in your own life – seeing your model car all over, thinking of someone and they call or text, constantly seeing the same number throughout the day… sure, some of it is a bias, we tend to see things we know and are focused on, but some occurrences are a little more odd.

If you’ve read some of my recent blogs, you’ll know I’m struggling a little bit with loneliness. I think I’m getting better, but then I get slapped across the face with anxiety and negative thoughts. At this point, I just want to be on the other side of the feelings. I want to be whole and happy again, but I know to get there, I have to traverse these feelings and learn my lessons.

Yesterday on my walk, I had the impulse to request the guidance of the Universe. I asked for signs to lead me down the correct path. I said, if I should do X, show me the number 333, if I should do Y, show me 678. Eventually, I saw 678. I then said give me a clear duration of time at which point I should act. I played some music and the song told me 6 months. Finally I said if I am to wait 6 months to do Y, show me 479. Later that night I saw and Instagram post with that exact amount of likes.

As much as I want to go against the Universe, I think I’ve been ignoring the other signs I’ve been given, and yesterday just solidifies the fact that I have to start trusting the flow of life.

I do believe the Universe guides you where you need to go if you choose to let go and listen, so that’s what I’m going to do. Of course I’m still not where I want to be, but yesterday gave me a little bit of hope and makes me feel more clear about what I have to do. Maybe you think this is all just random coincidence, but for me, it feels right.

I think whether you believe in the Universal flow or not, we can all benefit from letting go and trusting the process. When we try to force things, they don’t often go well. Sometimes all it takes is faith, patience, and letting Nature run its course.

Ask the Universe for help. Do it as a joke if you want, but see what it wants to tell you.

September 12, 2024

Anxiety or Over-Caffeinated?

Emotions are complex and sometimes what we believe is one thing could very well be logically explained. 

I was having a little fit of anxiety at work this morning and having thoughts I believed were in the past. My breathing was shallow, my heart rate was up, and my thoughts were spiraling downward. I thought I had grown out of these specific concerns that filled my mind, but apparently not. 

With a little time, I began to cool down and think more rationally. I realized I had nothing to worry about and the only thing I can do is take it day by day and let the Universe work how it will. With more thought, I also realized the probable cause of this attack – too much caffeine on an empty stomach. 

So I got to considering how many other reactions of the human body are misinterpreted as negative emotions like anxiety.

Obviously I haven’t studied this to any extent, but it’s interesting to consider. Maybe when I drink too much coffee too quickly, my mind hyper-focuses on whatever my current “issues” are and the increased heart rate adds fuel to the fire. 

Maybe when my body is exhausted after days of effort, the sensations I feel become thoughts of sadness and loneliness.

When I’m well rested, well fed, and energized from my workout, that’s when my thoughts are clear and positive. It would be no surprise if the opposite lead to negative emotions. 

So maybe the next time you feel a certain type of way, consider the rational cause of the feelings you’re experiencing – tiredness, over stimulation, caffeine, hunger… try to find the logical solution to the symptoms your body is showing.

September 11, 2024

You Can’t Rush This

You can’t rush this. As much as you want the hard thing to be over, it takes time, patience, and a lot of learning to make it through.

I’ve written about instant gratification in the past, but I’m thinking about it a lot more now. With 75 Hard, I’m checking myself in the mirror every morning and night, searching for any change in physique – something to let me know this is worth the effort. At the same time, as I try moving on from someone I was interested in, my mind and body are going through a lot of emotions that I wish weren’t here.

I wish I could just skip to the end. Just show me what I look like after the 75th day and make it clear to me this is worth all the work I’m doing. Make these hectic emotions go away! I know I’m not being logical, I know I’m amking assumptions I shouldn’t be, I know what I should be doing, but can’t I just jump to the day when she doesn’t even cross my mind?

These things are tough, but they’re a part of the human experience. We will all experience emotions we don’t want, manage challenges we wish we didn’t need to, fail at countless passions and hobbies in the pursuit of finding the one we love. We all have experiences we wish we could rush through and come out on the other side unscathed.

As much as we desire a quick outcome, most of the time that’s not what we receive. These challenges we face are all there to teach us lessons, build our strength, resilience, confidence, self esteem, self awareness, and make us a better person. We all want to skip the hard parts, but those are the moments that make or break us.

In those moments, we have to make a choice – let the emotions or challenges win or alter our mindset and try something different. We always have a choice and that choice determines how quickly you make it through whatever you’re going through. You cannot continue doing the same things and expect different results. You need to be willing to feel these feelings, acknowledge them, learn from them, and grow.

You can’t rush this. You have to experience these things. So you might as well make the choice to learn from them and work your way through. Have presence and patience in all moments and act as you should to come out on top.

September 10, 2024

Be That Guy

If you were to be the version of the person you wanted to be, how would you act? How is that different than what you’re doing now and what do you have to do to bridge the gap?

In an earlier post I wrote, Loneliness Rant, I went into my unexpected anxiety in response to a girl. I’ve read a few books on relationships, attachment styles, and the like and I always assumed I was a secure attachment style. I was quickly proven wrong as the anxiety and overthinking consumed my days. I found myself constantly looking or distractions to prevent myself from thinking about the situation. I’m slowly working past that, but there are rough days.

Today I was considering how I could make this easier for myself. Is there a way for me to speed up the process of acceptance but at the same time come out more prepared for the next potential opportunity?

As I was on my long walk I realized this situation may not be so different from trying to improve your health. With 75 Hard, you’re basically committing to being the healthiest version of yourself. Every day you do something physically demanding, you improve your mind by reading, and you follow a strict diet. You do exactly what the healthiest version of yourself would do.

So I asked myself, what would my life look like if I was a secure person? How would I act if I knew not every person I’m attracted to was a good fit for me? What would I do if I wasn’t receiving the validation and reciprocation that I look for out of a relationship?

Asking myself questions like these gave me insight into what I have to change about my mindset and actions. I’m more aware now of how that secure version of myself would act on a daily basis and in response to similar situations to what I’m working through now. It seems slightly daunting now and it’s going to take time to adjust, but I know what to strive for.

This can be applied to a lot of aspects in life. It’s the dress-to-impress/fake-it-till-you-make-it mentality. You probably know you’re not doing everything you need to do in order to change your life in the ways you want. You’re likely aware of what you’re doing wrong and you have a desire to change. There’s nothing wrong with admitting your faults – it’s the first step towards change. There is something wrong with not doing anything about it.

Who do you want to be? Once you know that, figure out what that version of you does on a daily basis. How do you act, how do you carry yourself, interact with the world, what do your thoughts sounds like, and what are your habits? Once you develop this persona, act on it. Catch yourself if you slip into old patterns and try your best to pivot. Be the person you want to be.

September 10, 2024

“Rest Day”

I took my first rest day today after 15 days straight of 75 Hard. It was the biggest relief in my life.

I’m joking of course. I’m not taking any rest days, I’m not quitting this challenge or starting over. My “rest day” was not wearing my weighted vest on my walk. I’ve worn it the past few days to build up my strength and challenge myself a little more. But today, after a long day of work, I decided to forego putting it on and go for my normal walk.

It was a lovely relief and I could already sense the difference in strength since wearing an extra 10 pounds. My back didn’t hurt as much and my stride was slightly faster. I’ll continue wearing it from this point, but for today, it was a wonderful break.

This made me consider our habits as people who are trying to achieve awesome shit. We all know consistency is key and it takes hard work to reach our goals. But what do we do on those days where we don’t have the motivation or energy to invest in our goals?

Much like 75 Hard and following the rules consistently every single day, that’s what we should try to do with our passions and goals. We should all be putting in the effort to progress every single day, but sometimes life gets in the way. After a few tough days where I felt I had very little time to complete everything, I still found a way to do my workouts, read, eat, and drink my water.

When you tell yourself you’re going to do something, honor that promise. Commit to doing something every day without fail. Put in as much effort as possible day in and day out no matter what. When you feel like taking a “rest day”, you still commit to your goals, but you pull back a little. You may do less than normal, but you still do something.

If you put in lots of effort 90% of your days then take it easy the 10%, you’re still trying 100% of the time. That’s what matters most in the long run.

Achieving the goals you choose for yourself takes a promise to try every day. Start small if you want, just make sure you start. From that first day, do everything in your power to put in effort every single day. No matter what life throws at you, make time for what matters most.

September 8, 2024

Appreciate Alone Time

If there’s one thing I’ve learned after 15 days of 75 Hard, it’s this: appreciate any free time you have and never be afraid to turn down plans to rest and recharge.

I won’t lie, I’m pretty fuckin’ tired after 2 weeks. Physically tired. Mentally I feel pretty good. My body has been putting in a lot of work and it needs the rest. So when I have an hour here and there with no plans, I take advantage of the time and I fully appreciate it.

A part of me feels bad for turning down opportunities to go out with friends and family, but I’m constantly on the move and sometimes just want to stop. After long days at work, then the gym, then a walk, all I want is to turn my brain off and relax. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to give yourself time to yourself when you feel you need it.

This isn’t to say you can hide away forever and never be social. You can’t leave your family and friends in the past. You should always make an effort to see people and spend time with the ones you care about. But when life is hectic and you need time to yourself, take it. Never fall on either extreme of the spectrum of always being on the move and never doing anything.

Use your time how you want to. If the majority of your day consists of productive things, it’s fine to take a couple hours off. If you spend most of your time doing nothing, maybe that needs to change.

I don’t feel so bad looking at my phone for an hour after a long day because I know I’ve accomplished a lot throughout the day. I don’t feel so bad saying no to going to a bar where I wouldn’t drink anyway and instead staying in to read or watch a movie. I use my free time how I choose to and that’s what matters most.

If you’re tired and need a break, take one. Turn down plans if you don’t feel up to it. Accomplish your important tasks daily then choose how you’d like to spend your extra time. Never feel bad for needing alone time, but don’t let it consume your life and habits.

September 7, 2024

Take it Slow

Sometimes the key to getting through tough times is to slow down. Stop rushing, breathe deeply, and work your way through.

Work has been busy and that’s not something I can change. A lot of the time I grow overwhelmed trying to take everyone’s order and make everything in a timely fashion, but that becomes a challenge. I end up rushing my work and not putting my best effort into what I’m doing or I start being a little rough with my equipment.

Now that I’m starting full-time, I want to ensure I’m forming good relationships with all the customers and making them want to come back. So recently, I’ve been trying to slow down, breathe, and keep a friendly disposition.

Rushing through orders honestly doesn’t save me much time, but slowing down allows me to focus and accurately make everything. When I’m calm and breathing properly, I’m also in a better mood and can let my muscle memory take over and add conversation into the mix. It’s simple things like acknowledging customers, asking them questions, and hopefully raising their mood.

Slowing myself down has been a nice change of pace and I want to keep working at it. I always want to be remembered as a nice guy and people’s favorite barista, so taking my time helps move me closer to that goal.

If you feel stressed and overwhelmed, find yourself rushing and making mistakes, or not completing tasks to the best of your ability, try to slow it down. Remember to breathe, deep into your belly, calm your nerves, and take it one task at a time.

September 6, 2024

Bad Days Happen

No matter the routine, no matter the habits, bad days will happen.

I’ve been following practically the same routine every day for 2 weeks now. With the added challenge of 75 Hard, I’m doing the same things every day, following a diet, drinking a gallon of water, and getting 8 hours of sleep. There’s not much room for alteration other than different times for my workouts.

I’ve been feeling energized. In part I think it’s because I’m always on the move and getting my heart rate up with weights and walking. It’s likely to do with a proper diet and sleep routine as well. Whatever the case, I’ve felt quite nice and cheerful.

Of course, not all days are going to be good ones. Yesterday I woke up feeling tired and irritable. Work sucked, I didn’t want to be there interacting with customers, I didn’t want to workout, I didn’t want to walk, I didn’t want to do anything at all. Unfortunately, I still had to do it all.

This goes to show that you can be doing everything right, day in and day out, feel great 99% of the time, but sometimes those bad days find their way back in. The key is being able to manage them in a healthy way. There’s a saying that goes something like, “always give 100%. If some days you’re at 75%, give all of that 75%.” You don’t always have to be at your best, you can’t expect yourself to be.

A Stoic isn’t always on top of their game. Stoics have bad days, but they never let them destroy them. They realize they’re in a bad place, acknowledge the feelings, and watch themselves throughout the day. The negativity will try to find it’s way in through slamming doors, throwing things, wanting to scream… any number of outlets. The Stoic never lets these happen though. They realize they’re in control and can choose how they act.

That’s what we all have to do when bad days come. Realize the day may be tough and daily tasks may be more challenging, but do everything you have to do to the best of your ability. Never let the emotions win. Stay present and continue progressing at the rate you can manage that day.

September 5, 2024

Loneliness Rant

What more do I have to do to be enough? How much more self improvement do I need before I’m ready?

Loneliness is so difficult. There are times when I’m completely fine being alone. There are times when I’m happy with where I’m at and everything I have. But the loneliness always finds it’s way in.

The feelings grow worse when I think I’m so close to having what I desire and have been wishing for for so long. I think I’m so close, but apparently I’m nowhere near where I need to be.

I get it, not everyone is going to like me the way I like them. I can see all the red flags and comprehend why it would never work, but sometimes I just wish we could try. I don’t care if we don’t last, but I want to know that I’m enough for someone. I want to know that I’m a person someone can see themselves with because I don’t know how much more I can change before it happens.

I know we’re not a good match, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I still hope you’ll reach out to me, put in the effort to see me, make me feel like I’m not overbearing.

I think I’ll be hoping for a long time. 

I don’t blame you. I know this is all on me. I just need time and the ability to accept. I’ve gone this long being alone, so I just have to keep going and act like there was never a chance between is in the first place.

So as my mind spirals, I hope whoever is reading this is doing ok. If you’re feeling lonely, I’m sorry. I truly feel for you and hope you find what you’re looking for. We all need to be reminded we are good enough, whether that person sees it or not. Anyone who doesn’t see how amazing you are is missing out. So I hope you know you’re doing great and some day someone will realize how incredible you are.

Until that day, keep trying your best, don’t let the world get you down, and never let other people determine your value. Be proud of who you are and always be true to yourself.

September 4, 2024

A Genuine Compliment

A genuine compliment could be exactly what someone needed to hear. Never be afraid to compliment a stranger, just so long as it’s honest.

I’ve been in that stage of working out consistently where I wish I could see results sooner. After 10 days of 75 Hard, I thought maybe I’d see some pretty substantial differences in my physique. This is in part because of how much effort the challenge takes and I’m looking for signs that it’s worth continuing. I was questioning why I keep doing it and thinking I look exactly the same until I received a compliment.

At the gym, a huge dude came up to me after I finished a set and said I had some of the best form he’s ever seen and it shows through my physique. It was so genuine and exactly what I needed to hear, I didn’t know what to say except thank him.

I have been putting a lot of focus into my technique at the gym, often lowering my weights to really target each muscle’s flexion and stretch. You can never be sure if you’re doing things adequately or effectively unless someone wiser than you says something. So when he approached me and said that, it truly helped ease my mind.

This goes to show how far a simple compliment can go. You can drastically change a person’s day by saying something thoughtful. Don’t lie or make something up, most people will be able to tell. Be real and honest and tell someone something nice. Try to be less generic too. More deeply thought out compliments will make a person feel incredible.

Compliment a person’s confidence, their cheerful aura, the way their eyes light up when they smile… there are so many intricate details to notice about a person and you shouldn’t be afraid to say something. Have no expectations or intentions outside of being kind.

Pay attention to other people and compliment them when you notice something about them.

September 3, 2024

Do You Actually Want This?

We’re often blinded by desire and fail to see the flaws in what we want. We need to keep a clear head and adequately consider the things we actually want in our lives.

What are you currently chasing? What is the desire that seems to be just out of your reach? For some, it’s a new car, a new home, a relationship, a lean physique, higher pay… the list goes on and on.

As a Stoic, I know it’s unhealthy to desire more than what you have. As a human being, it’s tough to not wish for bigger and better. I’m well aware a person can be happy and satisfied with exactly what they have, but there are things in my life that I wish could be different. But as an attempt to be Stoic, I’m working on altering my mindset and putting things into perspective.

When my mind desires something and I feel like it’s just out of reach, it’s that much harder to not want it. It’s right there! Maybe if I just try this, do that, say this, I’ll have it finally. The mental spiral of desire spirals out of control until my focus is skewed and my anxiety takes control.

So how can you want something but not crave it, wish you had it, try everything and anything to achieve it, and think constantly about it? I think it’s a matter of seeing the full picture. You have to realize that, yes it may be a nice change in your life, but with everything good, something “bad” is attached. More responsibility, more effort, more work, less time, more caution…

The things we strive for may look awesome on the surface, but to limit our desire, we should look at both sides of the coin. See the good, but realize the bad too. The new job will bring more money and power, but also additional stress and responsibility. That relationship will bring fun times and connection, but may also bring tough conversations and anxiety depending on the healthiness of the partnership. The new car can bring fun drives and confidence, but also higher monthly expenses.

See your desires from all angles. Never look solely at the good that can come from them. Everything awesome comes with lame. So see the full picture, be grateful for what you have, and strive for what will truly benefit your life. It’s ok to wish for more, but never let the desires skew your focus or appreciation of the present moment.

September 2, 2024

Rain or Shine

I was waiting for the day where it rained when I had to do my outside workout. Today was that day and it shows just how disciplined you need to be to get what you want.

It was another long, busy Sunday at work. The last thing I wanted to do was go to the gym then for a walk. To top it al off, it started pouring as soon as I was about to go. I knew this day would come – the weather has been so nice the past 8 days of the challenge. So the discipline had to kick in and I had to make the choice to go anyway.

Luckily, the rain slowed to a gentle sprinkle by the time my walk started, so I didn’t end up soaked. As I was walking I was trying to consider how to apply this rain-or-shine mentality to more goals in life.

How can a person commit to putting in effort every single day, no matter what? With something like 75 Hard, it’s easy because you have your set of rules and a timeline for completion. With other long term goals, that’s not necessarily the case. So I’m wondering if making your goal a challenge would do it. Most of the time motivation isn’t enough to do something every day, so how can you make yoruself do it even when motivation is gone?

If you want something enough, you need to make the choice to move towards it as consistently as possible, if not every day. You need enough internal motivation to make progress, not worry about results, or any external validation. If you can’t stay consistent, you may not want it that badly.

Figure out your goals and what it’ll take to achieve them. Commit to doing something every day to move closer to the final result. Be so focused on what you want that nothing can get in your way of your consistency. Start small, do one thing a day, and don’t stop until you’ve reached your desired outcome.

September 1, 2024

Dinner at 9am

Sometimes you have to be willing to alter your routines. Are you able to improvise in order to get the necessities done?

Today I had to cook dinner at 9 am. Pretty sure I’ve never done that before. Since it’s labor day weekend, I’m headed to the lake for the day. Being there for a few hours throws off my normal plan for 75 Hard. Typically on a Saturday, I’d space everything out over the day, but today I can’t. So I had to improvise.

I woke up at 8 to go for my walk. It was a tough one. I’m starting to feel the soreness in my joints and muscles after doing this every day for a week. I went slower than I would’ve liked and I had to pause to stretch a few times, but I got it done. Then I had to deal with the diet aspect of the challenge – no cheat meals, so I have to bring my own meals to the lake. So when I returned home, I prepped my oatmeal then cooked my dinner. I’ll still have to do my second workout this evening, which sucks, but it’s necessary.

Sometimes you can’t follow your typical routine. Life doesn’t always run on your personal schedule. When you need to get shit done, you gotta be able to do it no matter what the day looks like. It’s not worth dreading or having anxiety over, you just need to improvise the day ahead and do things you don’t usually do.

Are you able to swith it up? Are you willing to sacrifice sleeping in to prepare for the day? Can you limit your lazy time to be productive?

In order to achieve your goals, you need to be willing to do whatever is necessary. You won’t always be able to do things when you want, so you need to do them when you have the time. It may not always be ideal, but it needs to get done. So be open to change, take it day by day, and do what you need to in order to progress and stay consistent.

August 31, 2024

Sleeping Through the Alarm

Stoics talk a lot about control – focusing on those things you can control and disregarding what you cannot. In reality, there isn’t much we have control over except the mind and how we perceive things. In a rare occurrence, my Stoic nature was put to the test and I was presented with the choice to freak out or get shit done.

I accidentally set the wrong alarm the night before. The alarm I set had no sound, only vibrated. So as I slowly woke up, feeling abnormally well rested and surprised my alarm hadn’t gone off yet, I felt something was up. I had missed my alarm and woke up two hours later than I wanted for work.

In that moment, I realized the Stoic Gods were putting me to the test. I had a choice: to do what I normally do – freak out, rush around to get ready, and start my morning on an anxious foot or I could stay calm and be different.

I chose the latter option and decided to focus completely on what I could control and the necessary steps I had to take. First, I texted my boss and informed him of my mistake. From there, I promptly showered and dressed – not rushing, but moving quickly but diligently. I readied myself and hit the road as quick as I could without the added stress of racing around.

When we freak out, we do nothing but cause problems. We make mistakes, forget things, put our mindset out of whack, and place ourselves on the wrong foot for the remainder of the day. Stress and anxiety places too much strain on the mind and body and has horrible affects on our productivity and mental sharpness.

Making the choice to stay calm, see the situation for what it is, and focus on what’s necessary is a productive way to proceed. You know what you have to do, so do those things. There’s no reason to add a stress factor. You can’t change the fact that you woke up late, all you can do is move forward from here.

When you’re put to the test, give yourself a moment to assess the situation. Your emotional response may tell you to freak out, overreact, and rush, but if you pause, your logic will kick in. When you allow rational thinking to take over, you can consider what you need to focus on and the most important steps you need to take. See the situation for what it is without adding labels. Just do what needs to be done.

Stay calm and stay rational. This isn’t the end of the world. You’ll make it through whatever test the Universe has sent you and the only way to get a good grade is to focus on what you have control over.

August 30, 2024

Universal Tests

When you want something, life will challenge you to see if you’re ready and capable to handle it.

You may think you’re ready for a big change in your life – a promotion, a relationship, more responsibilities, more freedom, etc. – but are you actually?

The Universe has a fun way of testing us on a regular basis, especially when we think we’re ready for the next step. As much as it sucks to be challenged, it’s a necessary step in the process. If we aren’t tested before getting thrown in head first, we’ll likely struggle a great deal. These tests may even show you parts of yourself you didn’t know were there.

I thought I was ready for a relationship – I am mentally, but in reality, I have somethings to work out before I can be half a healthy relationship. I assumed I was a secure attachment type. I thought I’d be laid back, open to negotiating, anything but jealous, and never anxious. That was until I was tested.

I won’t go into the details, but just know I discovered I may not be as secure as I believed. I experienced a lot of overthinking, a lot of anxiety, and was asking myself a lot of questions about what was going on. I did not handle it how I expected.

After having some time to think about it, I’ve learned my lessons. I have a clearer head and know what I need to do in the case that I meet another person I’m interested in. I don’t yet know if I’ll be exactly how I’d like to be in a relationship, but when the time comes, we’ll see how the tests go.

Never be surprised when the Universe sends you challenges. Think of them as your opportunity to prove you’re ready for whatever you’re striving for. Do your best, learn your lessons, and discover if you’re truly ready for the next step in your development.

August 29, 2024

Only Necessities

Day 5 – I have no free time in my days. Is that good or bad?

One good thing about committing to 75 Hard is knowing that I have to schedule my day around the rules of the challenge. As a result, I’ve had very little time to just sit, look at my phone, and be lazy. Like today, work from 7-11:30, walk 11:30-12:15, lunch, read, go to gym, shower, second work shift, write blog. That was my day with max an hour of rest.

Ultimately it feels pretty awesome knowing that I’m accomplishing so much in a day. It’s nice knowing that I’m breaking out of that little rut I was in where I was spending a majority of my time being unproductive. I feel empowered knowing that I’m able to acheive everything I need to no matter what my day looks like.

Who knows, maybe that’ll get old after a couple weeks. Maybe I’ll want nothing more than to simply do nothing for hours. But for right now, the productivity is energizing.

A challenge like this helps you focus your attention on the most important things – eating well, exercising, reading, and your passion project with the extra time in the day. I’m not saying you need to do 75 Hard to rediscover your productivity, but it’s not a terrible option.

If you feel like you’re in a rut and need a change, try figuring out the few things in your life that matter most. What would you like to be doing on a daily basis or at least consistently? Once you have your list, start implementing routines and discovering ways to weave them into any space you have.

August 28, 2024

Listen to Your Body

Today I had a panic attack. At least I think that’s what it was, but they aren’t common for me, so I’m not sure.

I don’t feel ready to divulge the full details of why it happened or what it is that’s making me so anxious recently, but I’ll share my thoughts.

As I was working, this immense tightness filled my chest. My breathing shallowed and quickened, my stomach ached, my mind grew heavy, and I didn’t know what to do. It happened in the middle of a rush, so all I could do was work through the customers and try my best to breathe and not get upset.

I took my long walk as soon as I clocked out. I needed to clear my head. No talking, no music, just the sun, the breeze, and time to think. People say walking can be a huge help, and I’d say that was the case this time. I still don’t know what I’m going to do with the situation that caused this episode, but I believe I know what my body is telling me to do.

That’s what I want this blog to be about – listening to your body. Every part of you works in sync and processes continue to happen behind the scenes no matter what. Evolution has developed our ability to gain insight subconsciously so when something feels off, you need to pay attention.

Whether it’s overtraining in the gym, struggles is relationships, issues at work, poor habits, eventually it catches up to you. If let untreated, the problems grow worse. Some things cannot be pushed down deeper and deeper and be expected to go away. When your body sends you signals that something is wrong, you need to listen.

Some things are easy to alter. Your muscles and joints are in pain – take a rest day. Your job is destroying you mentally – look elsewhere. A friend or significant other is wreaking havoc on your mind – take some space away from them. But sometimes yu may not know exactly what to do. In those instances, you may need to spend some more time considering options. Just don’t ignore or bury the feelings.

This is your life at stake. Stop ignoring your body when it needs your attention. Feel the emotions and sensations and see what they’re trying to tell you. Do what needs to be done to put yourself at ease.

August 27, 2024

Watching the Clock

Do the work without looking at the clock. Be in the moment and get it done.

Day 3 of 75 Hard brought me the idea for today’s blog. One rule of the challenge is two 45 minute workouts a day, one being outside. As I was taking my walk along the canal, I found myself consistantly checking my timer to see how much longer I had. At the halfway point, I turned the timer off, turned around and walked back.

This made me realize the clock doesn’t really make a difference. When I check and still have time to go, I feel dread. So why not just walk, enjoy my surroundings, and let the alarm tell me when my time is up.

I think this can be said for anything you set out to accomplish. When there’s an actual time limit to what you’re doing, focus fully on your objective and let time flow. But with bigger goals like starting a business, losing weight, quitting a bad habit or starting a healthy one, you don’t have a set time.

It’d be nice to know when something would be accomplished, but we don’t have that luxury. So if you’re compelled to do something, you have to be able to enjoy the process and let the outcomes show themselves when they do. There’s no checking the clock to see how close you are and nothing to compare your progress to. All you have is the work you put in right now.

So stop looking for the finish line. Do the work and let time pass. Enjoy as much as possible and look forward to the results you receive from your effort.

August 26, 2024

Feeling Like Goggins

David Goggins is an absolute machine of a man. Not many people can even come close to what he’s capable of. But you may be able to access a glimpse into the mentality that makes him so unique.

Goggins is unstoppable. What he sets his mind to gets done. There’s no days off, no taking it easy, no simple challenges. It’s all tough and seemingly impossible in a lot of cases. However, he’s able to overcome all the negative self-doubt and accomplish amazing things.

Even after completing Day 2 of 75 Hard, I think I understand what Goggins talks about so much. This mental toughness that hears all the attempts your ego makes to be lazy and does the hard thing anyway.

Sundays are my long and most tiring day of work. Up at 6:30, work from 7:45 till 4, open to close, then barely have time for anything else once I get home. But I can’t give in to my ego’s pressure to take a day off, not when it’s only Day 2. So throughout the day I told myself, “You’re going to the fucking gym and you’re going for a long walk after.” As much as I didn’t want to, I did.

Let me tell you, the feeling I got as I was working out and when I was walking was awesome. It felt so good knowing that despite the circumstances of the day, I did the hard shit and completed another day of the challenge.

If you want to build mental toughness, you have to fight the desire to be lazy. You have to do hard things in order to prove to yourself that you’re capable. No excuses can distract you if you set your mind to accomplishing something.

So do the hard thing today. Find the time, muster up the energy, and get it done.

August 25, 2024

The Perfect Time

This post marks day 1 of my 75 Hard Challenge. I was going back and forth on when I should start this challenge, but today was as good a day as any.

I think with a lot of new things in life, we postpone the beginning more often than not. There’s a fear that comes with trying something new or putting yourself at risk f failure/rejection.

When considering when to start the 75 Hard Challenge, I kept pushing it off because of vacations, weekend plans, work schedule, etc. I said, “I’ll wait until September 1st” or “I’ll start once my new schedule begins, so it’ll be easier.” But the whole point of this challenge is to develop discipline. In order to do that, you need to do the hard things even when it may be a hassle.

Discipline is developed when you commit to new, better habits, and you stick with them every day. It doesn’t matter if you’re tired, have a long day, are on vacation… if you want to be better, you have to do the hard shit that other people won’t do. Stop pushing it off and start whatever it is you’ve been wanting to.

There’s never going to be a perfect time, so you may as well get it over with.

August 24, 2024

Prepared for Change

Are you prepared for the inevitable change Nature promises to bring? Are you too content with the status quo and so scared of the unknown that you lose all rationality when the Universe makes its move?

When life is running smoothly, it’s pretty nice. Your worries are low, your focus is on hobbies, your happiness and presence comes easier, life is pretty good. But are you going to be able to respond well when all that changes?

Your character is shown not when the path is clear, but when you’re put to the test. When everything is going according to plan, it’s easy to be at peace. But when shit hits the fan, you have to be able to keep that rationality and positive outlook. You should prepare for change since you know it’s inevitable. But how do you prepare when you don’t know what’s to come?

You may not know the specifics of what Nature has in store, but you can be sure something will come up. This isn’t meant to bring anxiety into your life, it’s a way of being grateful, realistic, and courageous. What will you do if you lose your job? What happens if an emergency strikes and your savings are wiped out? What will you do when life isn’t as easy as it is right now?

It’s wise to take all the aspects of your life that are going well and imagine some of the things that could go wrong. Never expect everything to be like this forever. Consider what could happen and how you’ll respond when they do. How can you overcome and be better without stress, anger, or negativity?

The point of this is to never be caught off guard. No one can expect smooth sailing forever, but everyone can be prepared for rough waters. There’s no need to dread challenges. If you take the time to anticipate the possibilities and determine how you’ll proceed, you’ll be ready for anything. You’ll realize change isn’t bad and the status quo isn’t necessarily good. You’ll be grateful for what you have but never to a point where losing it will be devastating.

Nature is always changing, so you can’t expect to escape that reality. No matter how well your life is playing out, changes will arise. Will you be prepared?

August 23, 2024

You’re Allowed to Care

It is ok to care. It’s ok to care about people, to care about the past and the future, to care about everything.

You’re allowed to care about your ex. You can wonder where they are, what they’re up to, if they ever think of you, and if they’re happy.

You’re allowed to care about the obstacles in your way. You can feel scared, confused, lost, or any other emotion. You can wonder how you’ll get through this and what it will mean for your future.

You are allowed to care. But you are not allowed to care too much. Never care so much that the thoughts eat away at your focus. Don’t care so much about your ex that you slowly fill with grief and loneliness. Obstacles that block your path are not meant to stop your progress.

You’re human and caring is natural. You will feel multitudes of emotions every day and you’ll think enumerable thoughts, but you cannot let them control your action or cause inaction. They are just thoughts, just emotions. If you connect to them and let them guide you, you lose control.

So care. Feel the emotions and think the thoughts. But never let them become your narrative. Live your life in the present and stay calm and rational through it all. Care, but don’t dwell on what can’t be changed.

August 22, 2024

Focusing Energies

Focus your energy inwards. When you expect, hope, and want things from other people, you expel your energy and push people away. When you focus inwards, you draw people in and feel infinitely better.

I’m not 100% sure if I believe in all this talk on energy, manifestation, and the like. But I’m increibly intrigued by it and do try the practices here and there.

With this idea, I would say without a doubt it’s better to focus your thoughts inward then on other people. Expecting things from others is a surefire way to be hurt. Hoping people will act a certain way will leave you pissed off and pessimistic. Wanting someone to do something – text you, call you, like you… – puts so much stock into something you have no control over.

As the Stoics state, you only have control over your own mind. No of us has any say in what another person does and trying to exert our influence on their decision does nothing but harm us if it goes against our desire. Some would say when we develope this desire, the energy we produce pushes the other person away. Maybe you believe that, maybe you don’t.

Either way, it can be said, we need to focus on ourselves and what we can control. Bring your thoughts inward. Breathe and focus. No more expectations – be good without receiving anything in return. No more hoping – be grateful for everything the Universe places in front of you. No more wanting – You have so much and adding more won’t change your ability to be grateful.

Focus on yourself and never look for anything from anyone else. Be a good person, keep growing, and keep learning.

August 21, 2024

Establish Routines

Routine is one of the keys to a simpler life. With a well developed routine, there are fewer hiccups, fewer decisions, and more time to focus on what matters. 

These blogs just write themselves sometimes.

This morning I accidentally locked my keys in the car. I’m blaming it on switching up my routine for the morning. Usually I just bring my stuff to the car and drive to work. Today I had to make two trips to the car though since I had luggage for a long week trip. So I moved my car to the street, keys in my lap, then must;ve accidentally sat on the emergnecy lock.

So when I went to leave, I threw my keys in the back like always, closed the door, and bam! Locked out.

On top of making sure I stayed calm and Stoic, it made me realize how important routines are.

Having a set routine for the more minor parts of your day helps you worry less and focus on more important things. Estanlishing your morning routine and sticking to it allows you to just go, plan for the day, but still get ready promptly. Then you’ll realize how off you feel when your routine gets interrupted.

So make the boring stuff routine so you don’t have to make so many decisions each day. A regular diet, regular workout routine, morning and night rituals, etc. Give yourself more time to focus on what’s really important – your goals and self improvement.

August 20, 2024

Live in the Tao

Sometimes you just have to listen to the Tao. Trust your instincts and know that everything will work out how it’s meant to.

I’ve been doing some reading on Taoism. I just finished Tao Te Ching and Don’t Just Sit There, DO NOTHING. I’m not saying I fully understand the philosophy by any means, but it has me reconsidering how I move through life.

What struck me about Taoism is this idea of effortless living. No matter what comes your way, any decision you have to make, any obstacle, you trust your subconscious and the Universe. The choices you make shouldn’t feel like a burden or have you questioning yourself. You move freely towards where you want to go and believe that everything will unfold how it’s meant to.

I’ve been trying to stop my ego from making decisions and overthinking every scenario. You can do this with the simplest decisions like what you’ll make for dinner to more complex like a job to pursue, relationships, and big life choices.

If something feels forced, it probably isn’t the thing to do. Everything is meant to flow. This doesn’t mean your life will be easy and without challenges, but if you trust your gut and listen to where the Universe is pulling you, you can know everything will work out.

So stop thinking so much and just trust. Trust the Tao and live more freely.

August 19, 2024

No One Cares

Stop thinking so much about someone who spends no time thinking about you.

We put a lot of stock in the opinions of others. We care too much about what people think about us, if they like us, and if they’re thinking about us the same way we’re thinking about them.

In reality, most people aren’t thinking of anyone except themselves. It’s human nature to want what’s best for us, so we make choices in an attempt to achieve those things. We all have a million thoughts running through our mind every day – decisions to make, errands to run, personal problems, family and relationship issues, etc. So odds are, that person isn’t thinking about you.

You make a bad mistake at work and people see you? Yeah, they noticed, but guess what, they’re going ahead and living their life right after and all those thoughts and tasks are quickly going to consume their attention. Your hiccup means nothing.

You’re in a relationship or talking to someone, wondering constantly if they’re thinking about you? Maybe, but if they are, they’ll get in contact with you. They have a life to live just like you do. You may feel like you’re thinking about them all day, but it’s only in moments, and that’s what it’s like for them.

People may upset you, watch you make mistakes, reject you, whatever, but everyone is more focused on themselves than you. Don’t waste your time thinking about how other people perceive you. Be the real you and let them do the same.

August 18, 2024

“When the eyes fear, the hands do.”

“When the eyes fear, the hands do.” – Jessie Asya Kanzer, Don’t Just Sit There, DO NOTHING

Yesterday I wrote a blog about your ego getting in the way of your action. Today, as I was reading, I came across this quote that falls in line with my sentiment.

Doing something new can be terrifying. If you’re entering uncharted waters, with little to no past knowledge or experience, it can seem daunting. No matter what it is – a new business, new job, hobby, content strategy, asking someone out, etc. – the fear that comes with it can stop you in your tracks.

Don’t let fear prevent your inaction.

There’s another saying that goes says “Just do it scared.” and that’s what we all need to do sometimes. It doesn’t matter if you’re terrified or overwhelmed with what lies ahead, you need to do what needs to be done. If you want to be better, achieve your goals, and branch out of your comfort zone, then you have to be able to do things under any emotional state.

Fear comes from your ego saying you can’t, you’re no good, what’s the point, just stay as you are. But remember, your thoughts are not you. Fear is nothing but a temporary thought as the unknown presents itself. Just like everything else in this world, the feeling will pass.

There will never be a better time than right now to start, so start. Recognize the fear, but let the potential for a better life push you forward. You may fail, but you tried. You may succeed, then you’ll look back at laugh at how foolish your ego was.

If you’re scared, do it scared. You know what you have to do, so do it.

August 17, 2024

Thought vs Action

It starts with a thought. Make sure it ends with that thought.

If you’re trying to accomplish something, you can’t let your ego win. If you set out to do something, consistency is the key. So when you have those days where you want to take a break, don’t.

I want to challenge myself to write every day. The blog you’re reading is day number 5 and it almost didn’t happen. After work, I wanted nothing more than to lie around and look at my phone. My ego hit me with every excuse – “It’s just one day off, who cares.” “You don’t have any ideas anyway.” “I’m tired. I don’t want to write.” and on and on.

But in order to challenge myself and get out of this rut I’ve been in, I have to be different. So I got out of bed and started typing.

You can’t escape your thoughts. As much as we’d all like to, they will always be present. Fortunately, you are not your thoughts. You have the power to challenge your ego and do exactly what it tells you not to do. Your desire to be better has to be strong enough to overcome every objection the mind throws at you.

So when the thoughts roll in, telling you to relax, skip a day, be unhealthy, or whatever else is unique to you, stop the train in its tracks. The thoughts will always peak through, but you decide your next move.

Make sure it’s the move that pushes you forward.

August 16, 2024

You Choose

Never let someone else determine how you live your life. You choose your path and do what’s necessary to achieve everything you desire.

I haven’t been the happiest the past few months. I’ve been feeling burnt out and unproductive. I’ve been working a lot, putting in a lot of effort to be a good employee, but not investing in my own goals.

I’ve been letting other people choose my path for me and choosing not to do anything to change my situation.

You’re tired after work? Completely natural. The issue comes when you decide to let that feeling win. Do you come home and lie around or do you work on your passion project? The first choice is letting other people win. The second is deciding you’re going to win.

The society we live in requires hard work and it’s typically work for someone else. Life gets in the way, we all have responsibilities. The key to feeling better about where you are is this: never forget to focus on yourself. No matter what, do something every day to better yourself and work towards your goals.

Write something, paint, make content, read, build your business, etc. Do something for yourself and never let someone else determine what your life looks like.

August 15, 2024

Know Your Worth

Know your worth. Never let anyone else determine it for you.

You have so much to offer to this world and nothing that happens to you nor anyone other than you can change that. You have to remember who you are and be that person no matter what.

Be kind because you want to. Help people because that’s what you do. Make people laugh, be there when they need you, set boundaries, prioritize your betterment. Be the best version of you that you can be.

If people don’t accept you for who you are, that’s fine. If you feel you’re putting in effort in a relationship with little in return, don’t let it break you down. Just because one person doesn’t choose you, it doesn’t mean you’re worthless. Keep being you and invest yourself in the people who do accept you.

If the job you desire turns you down, continue building your skills and find a better opportunity. You’re not worthless because someone says you’re the wrong fit.

No matter what the scenario, just because one thing doesn’t go the way you hope or plan, it’s not the end. Know your worth and what you’re capable of. Hold your head high, keep pushing forward, keep learning, keep growing, and become the person you know you can be. No one else can determine your value.

If you’re trying your best to be your best, that’s all that matters.

August 14, 2024

A Change In Focus

What you choose to focus on becomes what you see in your life.

In just the past couple days since deciding to start blogging again, I’ve noticed a flip in my perspective. My main goal of writing is to share perspectives on self improvement, Stoicism, and health living. When I began looking for topics to write about from my daily life, the content flowed naturally.

I will admit, my view of the world has been more cynical in the past few months. With interacting with hundreds of people on a weekly basis, I noticed my temper slipping and opinions being more pessimistic. But since focusing more on how I can be better and view the world in healthier ways, the things that were bothering me have started becoming lessons and moments to practice.

The world does not cater to your expectations and people will not always be friendly, but you always have a choice in how you deal. When I wasn’t intending to be better, a lot of things drove me up a wall, but as I try to go back to my old ways, I’m finding these same moments more bearable.

If you choose to focus on the bad, you’re going to see it everywhere. If you choose to learn and grow, you’ll find opportunities all over. Tough moments become life lessons and obstacles become a challenge in resilience. You start asking yourself “how can I work through this?” instead of “why does this have to happen to me?”

If you want to be better and see the world in a new light, try switching your focus. Look for the good and look for opportunities to practice your philosophy. You’ll be amazed at what you’re capable of when you decide to grow.

August 13, 2024

Waking Up Mundane

Sometimes it happens slowly, other times quickly. You live your life day by day, then all of a sudden, you wake up and you’re exactly where you never wanted to be.

From the moment I started Expedition To Try, I swore I’d never slip into the mundane. No matter what, I’d fight off the routine I see all around me – the 9-5 job, the exhaustion that leads to sitting on my phone for hours, choosing TV over something productive, waiting for the weekend, and making poor health decisions.

But then I woke up on another Monday morning and realized that’s exactly where I am. I’m fuckin’ 27 years old. This can’t happen this early.

For the past few months that’s been my life. I’m up before the sun, exhausted and dreading the day, I work till 2, go to the gym, go home, and do nothing. That’s the routine until Friday night when I go out and drink enough to where I regret my decisions Saturday and waste my one day off because I’m too hungover to do anything productive.

My self awareness is fighting back now, which is why I’m starting to write again. I realize something needs to change because if it doesn’t, I’ll be stuck here. I have goals and a vision for what I’d like my life to look like, but none of that will happen if I keep doing this.

If you feel stuck, listen to your gut. Take a few deep breaths and see what your body is telling you to do. If where you are isn’t where you want to be, you can’t continue doing the shit you’ve been doing.

Do something different today and again tomorrow. Start small and build slowly. Don’t accept a mediocre life if that’s not what you desire.

August 12, 2024

Time to be Selfish

You need to take into account how your decisions affect the lives of others. At the same time, there are decisions you make that require you to be selfish. If you always let other people determine your direction, you’ll never end up where you want to be.

Life is a complicated process of trying to figure out what the hell we’re supposed to do. There are infinite decisions we have to make and ones we could’ve made instead. Each decision comes with its own set of snowball effects that lead to any number of unpredictable outcomes.

So in a world full of decisions and the intention of finding the right path for yourself, how do you make the right choices?

Wegmans is closing their coffee shops and switching to self-service… what should I do? Should I just quit now, stick it out, lower my hours, train in a new department? There are a ton of options which make it difficult to choose.

I care about my coworkers, so I take them into account. I cannot simply quit and leave the burden fully on them. They’d be given more hours than manageable and more stress than anyone deserves. At the same time, I need to do what’s best for me and my future.

I could choose to stay and help by taking on as many hours and responsibilities as possible. Doing so would relieve some of the stress on my coworkers and managers. At the same time, why should I invest so much energy into somewhere that’s going to replace me?

Right here and now, I know I want to pursue coffee. I love working in coffee shops and making all the drinks. Fortunately, I’m in a position where I have another job that offers me those things and to a degree that I enjoy more. After being offered more hours at my second job, I had to make a choice. Give Wegmans the help they need or focus on my own interests and progress.

So I chose to be selfish and take the opportunity I was given. I changed my availability at Wegmans and accepted the additional hours at my new job. My choice focused on my happiness and future more than the short-term gain Wegmans would receive from my staying.

It’s important to take others into account when you make decisions. You can’t do only what’s best for you and let other people deal with the repercutions. Some choices require sacrifice if it means benefitting the lives of others. But sometimes it’s better to be selfish. When it comes to your long-term happiness and progress, you are most important.

So weigh out your options before blindly doing what you think you want. Consider the impact on others and yourself. Take all things into account and make an educated decision. If in some cases that means being selfish, then do it.

May 29, 2023

The Power of Instant Realization – Letting Go of Frustration

One of my favorite things is seeing people growing upset at something then the instant realization they were in the wrong. Let me explain:

A passenger had just gone into the bathroom with his baby to change his diaper. A couple minutes went by and another person went to wait in line. After a few more minutes passed, you could see the one in line growing frustrated. When the dad finally opened the door, the person in line had an instant realization of the situation and realized their frustration wasn’t warranted.

Or take the time a friend of mine wanted takeout. They called the restaurant, no one answered. They tried again, still no luck. Finally, they grew annoyed, questioning the restaurants business model and inability to have someone to answer the phone. My friend looked up the restaurant and BAM, they weren’t even open! Absolutely hilarious.

We grow pissed so easily and jump to conclusions without having the full context of the situation. We assume people are being inconsiderate, ignoring us, being rude, or out to make our day worse. It’s rare for us to consider the background of their demeanor, the broader picture of the situation, or any alternative that isn’t negative. That’s why I love instant realization moments.

I think it’s great to be knocked down a peg and realize you were wrong. It’s beneficial to be shown your negativity is unwarranted and that you turned a simple inconvenience into something major. It’s important to receive reminders that the world doesn’t revolve around you, people don’t care about you, and we’re all here trying to figure shit out.

So relax. You don’t need to turn this into some huge production. Don’t act like this is the biggest inconvenience the world has ever seen. Live your life, let others do the same, and be respectful of other people’s time and cut them some slack.

May 26, 2023

Voluntary Discomfort or Laziness?

I’ve begun questioning whether my choices are Stoic in nature or laziness in disguise.

The Stoic practice of voluntary discomfort aims to train the mind and body for hardship. It involves purposefully doing hard things in preparation for their possible occurrence in the future. Voluntary discomfort is taking cold showers a few times a month, stepping outside with no jacket, going a few hours without a phone, eating the same meal for a week straight, etc. These challenges are done to prove to yourself that you could handle a scenario when it happens for real.

I’ve reached a point where I say what I’m doing is voluntary discomfort when in reality, it may be laziness.

You’ll almost never see me where a winter jacket. Do I own one? Yes. So why don’t I wear it in the winter? I’m training myself to be impervious to the cold! That may make sense if I did it here and there, but it’s every day. I often wish I had worn a coat, but I think of excuses for why I didn’t – it’s hard for me to put on and take off, I don’t want to find a place for it, I’ll forget it, etc. These aren’t legitimate excuses I’m placing under the guise of Stoicism, they’re me being lazy.

It’s the same with my cooking. I eat practically the same three meals every day – oatmeal, tofu and chickpeas, tempeh and black beans. Nothing really changes and while I’m ok with that, it would be nice to have a delicious meal sometimes. I’ve proven I can eat cheaply and consistently, so why do I continue doing it if I don’t have to? It’s no longer voluntary discomfort, it’s laziness. I don’t want to find recipes, buy ingredients, prep vegetables, and cook for an hour.

If you can relate to this, it may be time to ask yourself, “Am I doing this for philosophy’s sake or am I just being lazy?”. You may not love the answer, but determining your laziness is the first step towards improving.

You don’t have to do a complete 180, especially with habits like cooking healthy meals. Changing routines too drastically can cause major slip-ups, so take it slow. Make an effort to try branching out. Wear a jacket sometimes, cook a fancy meal this week, just switch it up. You’ve proved you can do it, so enjoy life a little more.

May 12, 2023

The Stoic Way of Learning: Inward Digestion and Outward Actions

This Stoic way of learning saves you time and energy that can be invested back into your hobbies, passions, and skillsets.

‘Sheep don’t throw up the grass to show the shepherds how much they have eaten; but, inwardly digesting their food, they outwardly produce wool and milk. Thus, therefore, do you likewise not show theorems to the unlearned, but the actions produced by them after they have been digested.’ ~Epictetus

This quote truly speaks to me and I think it perfectly represents my thoughts in “Where Do Your Priorities Lie?“.

We should not be learning as a way to impress other people. We shouldn’t improve ourselves to prove a point to the world. Our goals and the choices we make to achieve them should be for us and us alone.

It’s the same with your mindsets and perspectives. You have no reason to waste your time proving yourself to other people through words. Saying you don’t chase money, girls, a lavish lifestyle, or other monetary aims means nothing if you don’t act. Words mean nothing if your actions don’t back them up.

Take the time to learn something new because you want to. Build your foundation, practice the techniques, digest the information, and continue expanding your knowledge. Use patience and consistency to your advantage. Realize that the longer you take to hone your craft, the more likely you are to develop an expansive knowledge and skillset. One that people would never question.

So, much like the sheep, eat the grass, enjoy the meal, let your body digest it, and show the world your achievements through results. Learn for yourself, try new things that interest you, and keep going with little regard to other’s opinions. Use this Stoic way of learning to your advantage.

May 5, 2023

Overcoming Emotional Blocks in Self-Improvement

Why is overcoming emotional blocks so difficult on a personal level, but not on an objective one? Why is it so easy to help others, but so difficult to help myself?

Why am I able to be objective and Stoic with the obstacles of others? When they come to me for advice, I can stay calm, patient, and rational. When it comes to dealing with my own problems though, it’s a different story.

Even when I consider my mistakes, obstacles I’ve overcome, or hiccups I’ll likely face in the future, I can do so with a sound mind. It’s when I’m actually going through the shit that all hell breaks loose and I lose all logic. What makes these moments different and so challenging to reason through?

Working in the kitchen brings out the worst in me. I grow annoyed, aloof, temperamental, and don’t perform well. My brain runs through all the Stoic advice, blog posts, and mindfulness practices in an attempt to work through the negativity. It rarely works. I know how to deal with the situation and yet, I can’t. No amount of reminders to stay present or look at the bright side can switch my emotional brain off.

This is my present focus in my self improvement journey. My ego is likely the cause of my frustration. Something is preventing me from being objective and logical simply because it’s happening to me and not someone else. Am I expecting too much? Is there a deeper concern at play?

I’m in search of practices, a go-to response for overcoming emotional blocks. Something that nips the negativity in the bud. I’m not sure how this will play out, but we’ll check back in when the time arises.

April 28, 2023

Choices that Affect Others: The Impact of Your Decisions

There are choices that affect others and your inability to change has greater repercussions than you may believe. When your decisions affect more than yourself, it’s necessary to make changes.

It’s important to realize that the opinions of others do not matter. Constantly worrying about what they think of you is a waste of time. At the same time, there are certain choices you make that do affect the lives of other people. When this is the case, the choice should be considered and tweaked to attain the best results.

I’ve been playing around with this idea in my mind and I think it pertains to health most. We may not often consider the impact our poor choices have on those around us. It’s obvious to notice the affects on our own health and wellbeing, but we fail to consider the burden placed on others.

Your refusal to fix your sleep schedule makes you tired and foggy. That’s clearly not ideal for you. Your poor sleep habits also force other people to manage your tiredness, irritability, and fogginess. Your choice to not eat well or drink water leads to sluggishness and being prone to illness. Not great for you, sure, but what about others? You’re sick again, so they have to cover for you or even take care of you. They have to alter plans because you can no longer go anywhere.

You can say it doesn’t matter or not care – they can figure it out. There comes a point when they won’t want to help out anymore. There’s only so much Stoicism can do before the added weight of your absence breaks the person down. Eventually, they may grow to resent you and move on. They’ll stop including you or even caring.

It may seem harsh, but with enough pressure, anyone can break. I want to get it through to you that your health and wellbeing affects more than yourself. If not for yourself, do it for those in your circle. Think of the people who depend on you at work, school, your friendships, and family. You can keep making your choices and dealing with the repercussions, but you’re now aware of your impact on others.

Make better choices because you’ll feel better and perform better. Do it for you first and foremost, but if that’s not enough motivation, think of those around you. Think of the choices that affect others.

April 24, 2023

You Never Regret the Workout

You never regret the workout. You only regret the times you chose not to do the work.

It’s happened to all of us – we wake up, we’re tired, cranky, and don’t want to go to the gym. We decide to go back to sleep, only to wake up more fatigued and later regretting our laziness. “Why didn’t I just go to the gym?!” you ask yourself.

This happened to me this morning, but while coming up with excuses, I realized where this would lead. None of my excuses were enough to justify skipping the gym and I knew that if I went, I’d be happy I did. So I went and that’s what happened.

You never regret going to the gym. It feels good and you know you’re doing something to improve your health and wellbeing. It’s the same with most, if not all your habits. It’s hard to regret something you know is beneficial. The struggle is overcoming the excuses you tell yourself before acting.

When you make the healthy choices for long enough, you start realizing how doing the opposite makes you feel less than ideal. The healthy choice becomes easier because the alternative leads to poor thoughts, lower energy, bloating, and so many other negatives. It takes realizing this to discover how hard it is to regret making good choices.

You may say, “Damn, I wish I had eaten that pizza. It looked so good!” or “I could’ve done work instead of going to the gym.” but you’ll still be glad you made the choice you did. You’d later regret eating another slice of pizza, skipping the gym again, watching another episode of TV, whatever. You can still do these things, but you have to do the healthy shit first.

Schedule your gym time, eat your healthy foods, do your passionate work, read your 10 pages, do all the good shit. Only after that can you consider doing the alternative. It’s likely you won’t want to do those things because you already feel so energized and productive.

You never regret the workout. You will not regret doing the tough work and making the healthy choice. Regret comes when you don’t do it. Overcome your excuses and realize how much better you’ll feel once you complete the task.

April 21, 2023

Resisting Laziness – How Routine Can Make Life Easier

Resisting laziness has become a challenge. After only a couple weeks of working long days, I completely understand the desire to do nothing and eat junk after work. It’s only when your habits and discipline are put to the test that you’re able to grow and improve.

It makes sense, I’m tired and lazy after work, so I want to do the easy things. I’ve been working all day, why can’t I just watch TV and eat snacks for the rest of the night?

I’ve said it before, the easy thing is rarely the best thing. It’s easy to do nothing, to eat shitty foods, to look at your phone, etc. If you want to improve, you can’t make the easy choices the automatic and go-to choice. Improvement comes from breaking a routine and habit and choosing to be better, then doing it consistently.

This is why I love routines because then there are few questions and choices I need to make in order to be healthy. I go to the gym the same days and times, I cook the same meals and meal prep some, I read each morning and night before bed. When you form routines and limit the number of choices you have to make, your ability to succeed becomes easier. Resisting laziness becomes easier because the healthy choice is easier.

We all want the better choice to be the easy one, but it rarely is. If you desire improvement, start questioning your daily choices and routines. Make yourself a plan to limit your choices and make the healthy ones easier. You can still enjoy the less healthy pleasures, but they’ll be even more enjoyable in moderation.

April 17, 2023

Shift Your Perspective – Learning to See the Positives

How can you learn to view the bright side of every event? What does it take to shift your perspective from the initial negative response to a more positive one?

Every so often, we have a busy day at work. For some reason, everyone comes to get coffee at the same time. It can grow frustrating after a while. It becomes difficult to clean up, brew new coffees, or catch a breath.

When a manager comes by to see how we’re doing, we say “Busy”. When I say it’s busy, I say it out of annoyance. But then the manager hits me with the, “That’s good!” and I’m left questioning my grievances.

Sure it can be nice to have a slower shift with few interactions with customers, but being busy means the shop is doing well. This interaction with management shows that there’s a different perspective I could be incorporating. This is true with most occurrences in life.

There’s almost always an ability to look at the bright side. Every situation can have a silver lining but we often fail to pursue it. It’s often easier to take an event as it first appears to us – good or bad – then dwell on it when it’s bad. Sometimes we want to be crabby and for people to commiserate with us, but that doesn’t feel as good as the alternative.

Gratitude and leading with positivity feels much better. These emotions can propel us forward and feel better while doing it. All it takes is learning to shift your perspective. It takes overcoming an initial sense of annoyance, negativity, and frustration so you can instead view it in positive light.

Try catching yourself the next time you’re feeling negativity towards an event. See if you can view it logically and consider it more positively.

April 14, 2023

Stay the Course – A Helpful Reminder to Keep Going

This is your reminder to stay the course.

Have you ever received the exact reminder you needed to continue on your path? I did the other day and I couldn’t be more grateful for the experience.

The past few days were rough and it’s all because of Tik Tok comments. No matter how much preemptive thought I do to mentally prepare for rudeness, when it actually happens, it ruins me. The cynicism of people and utter lack of compassion is astounding. I understand people have their opinions and want to fight for their voice to be heard, but it doesn’t always come across as open-minded and respectful. I’ll say this too – I’m sick of people mocking my glasses! I am aware I have poor eyes, thank you.

No matter how hard I tried, the comments got the best of me and altered my mood for the worst. It reached a point where I didn’t open the app for two days and I’m considering never reading any comment moving forward, The negativity brought on thoughts of why I continue doing this and whether or not the few good interactions justify putting up with the bad ones.

Then life sent my reminder to stay the course.

It’s actually the first time I was recognized in public for my Tik Tok. I felt very Gary Vaynerchuk-esque. This individual told me how he found my account a few days prior and found my videos inspiring and helpful. They said the topics make for interesting conversations in their friend group.

I was honestly awestruck. I didn’t know what to say, I was so full of surprise, joy, and appreciation. This two minute interaction made me forget all the negativity and any questioning my brain was doing. From their words alone, I know I’m on the right path.

The content I produce attempts to inspire. My hope is to get people thinking and questioning their habits and beliefs as a way to improve all areas of their life. To hear just one person tell me my content is doing that for them, I know it’s all worth it. If there’s one, there’s likely more and maybe I just haven’t found them yet.

So to the person who gave me the reminder and motivation I needed, thank you. I cannot express how grateful I am to have met you and chatted with you. You truly made a massive difference in my mindset right when I needed it most. I wish you the best and only hope I can continue producing beneficial content for you and people just like you.

April 10, 2023

Your Excuses are Ridiculous – Put the Toilet Seat Down

Please, put the toilet seat down! Stop making bullshit excuses and just do what needs to be done.

I saw a video of a husband saying why it’s more efficient to leave the toilet seat up. “It saves time and effort for both of us” he says. Shut up, dude. Put the damn seat down. It’s really not difficult.

While this video may have been a joke, I know there are guys out there who agree and think this way. I also know that there are people who follow this exact thought process for their own self-improvement. The cycle of needing to improve, making excuses, then not improving has to stop.

No excuse should stop you from doing something today and every day from this point forward – minus major catastrophes that render you incapable. If you know you need to improve, then the weather, your emotions, your schedule, and any excuse cannot prevent consistent progress.

If you’re too tired to do a full workout, do some pushups and squats at home. It’s raining? Do a HIIT routine inside. You don’t want to cook? Don’t head to McDonalds, find something healthier. No time to read? Then why are you on your phone?

It’s not that we don’t have the time, it’s more often that we’re not making the time. I firmly believe there is always enough energy in you to do something today, but we often think doing the bare minimum isn’t enough to be worth it at all. But it is. So if not one thing, do something else. If you know this happens frequently, then prepare for it.

Audit your time, meal prep, schedule the important things, have workouts ready no matter the weather… just stay consistent.

Stop making excuses and start putting the damn toilet seat down.

April 7, 2023

Braden Bales: “Overnight Success” – How to Persevere and Win

Braden Bales has proven that It only takes one thing to drastically change everything for you. Hard work and consistency can and will pay off.

I hate posting Tik Toks. It’s time consuming, I rarely achieve results, people are mean, and constantly thinking of ideas is tiring. It feels like growing on Tik Tok has become the new Rat Race.

The issue I have is that I know the more I post, the more likely something big can come from it. The more I put out, the more eyes see it. It’s just hard to find motivation to do that when every video gets no more than 400 views while it seems like everyone else gets millions.

But this post is about something amazing that happened this week for another creator. Braden Bales is an immensely talented musician I interviewed a while back. For the past year, he’s been producing bop after bop and slowly growing his audience. I’ve been watching and wishing for his success and finding it annoying when he wasn’t getting views and follows.

But this week, a fairly large Tik Tok page discovered Braden and dueted a video he posted. From there, multiple people have been seeing, dueting, and following Braden. As of writing this, Braden is at 99.6K (Update: 267k) followers when just last week he was at 30K.

I am so freaking excited for Braden because he’s been putting in the work and producing amazing content. This is so well deserved and I only hope it continues from here.

So to tie it back to my posting habits and maybe even yours – post more content about what you love. Post content with less thought and worry. All it takes is one chance occurrence to skyrocket your progress. One person can share your video and change your life. So while it may be tough right now and annoying as hell, try your best to push though. You never know who’s watching and listening.

April 3, 2023

3 Easy Ways to Practice Presence

Present state awareness is the ability to focus fully on how you feel in this moment. It’s the opportunity to check in with your senses and also drop your attachment to them. By developing this skill, you can more easily notice the sensations a situation elicits within you and catch yourself before letting thoughts take over.

This blog idea came to me at this gym this morning. I was trying to come up with some “easy” ways to practice presence. A lot of the time people bring up meditation, but I wanted quicker, everyday methods. I realized you don’t have to sit and meditate in order to practice mindfulness and presence. The practice to me is bringing an act to your attention, not performing it habitually, then seeing how you react and feel.

The first method I tried out was dishes. I wash dishes every day and never considered a need to alter methods or think about the task more deeply. As I was filling the sink with soap and water, I decided to let the water flow without my involvement. Typically, I move the faucet around to distribute the bubbles evenly, but this time I stopped myself. I just watched.

I had thoughts of wanting to change the flow. There were feelings of needing to involve myself. I had similar anxiety-driven tightness in my chest as a single mound of bubbles formed under the faucet but not throughout the sink. But as I continued to watch, I tried my best to do just that – watch.

This is a strange example, but it’s an everyday occurrence for me and a quick way to practice presence and removing my thoughts from the event. I was telling myself to get involved, but I didn’t act on it. I believed my involvement would help the process, but I let it play out naturally. A simple act of filling the sink focused my attention and lead to my noticing sensations but not letting them take over.

Another daily occurrence is phone usage. No matter what I’m doing, there comes the urge to pick up my phone and check it for new notifications. To practice presence I simply don’t pick it up. Instead, I sit with the thoughts and sensations that initial urge brings about. There’s a weird feeling when you go against what your brain wants to do. For me it’s a heavy feeling in my chest and thoughts like “I wonder if anyone texted me.” But you quickly realize the urge was out of boredom. You don’t acually need to check your phone, especially not as often as you do. So next time you want to pick it up, don’t.

Third is hearing a song but not singing. If I’m at the gym, I lip sync songs I love and if I’m home alone, I sing them aloud. So today I played a favorite song but just listened. There was another strange feeling of going against my typical habit, but I just sat with it and tried listening. There was still that attachment to the song as I repeated the lyrics in my head, but I tried removing that too. It was an interesting experience in removing myself and my thoughts from what was happening.

I don’t know if these examples will resonate with you like they do me, but I wanted to share. There are instances in your everyday life when you can stop acting habitually and emotionally then try just being there instead. You don’t always have to be involved, you don’t have to act on urges, you don’t have to attach your ego. Find ways to practice presence in your own life. Learn to sit with the thoughts and sensations instead of doing what you always do.

February 27, 2023

Temperance – Enjoy Unhealthy Foods More by Not Eating Them

When you understand that the things you put in your body become your fuel and building blocks of your being, temperance becomes easier.

Of the four Stoic virtues, I think I practice and understand Temperance the best. Temperance is all about self-control and being able to turn down short-term gains and pleasures.

They say “You are what you eat”, but I don’t think we truly take this to heart. You are quite literally built by the food and drinks you put into your body. Everything you consume is broken down to it’s components and used to build more cells and fuel your days. Do you want to be thrive on grease or vegetables?

I’m not here to say I’m the healthiest person because I’m not. I do try, however, to make healthy choices and practice temperance. Through my self-awareness journey, I’ve paid attention to how foods and drinks affect my mind and body. From doing this over the past few years, abstaining from certain things has become easier.

My college years were full of not so healthy foods and of course alcohol. Throughout those years, I didn’t think I felt unhealthy. I got hangovers and stomachaches from eating too much, but I figured that was normal. It wasn’t until attempting veganism that I discovered how great food can make you feel.

To keep it short and simple, good food makes you feel good. You’ll feel light, alert, and energized. When you’ve experienced that for a bit then go back to old ways, you notice the difference quickly. In doing this, it’s easier to refrain from the things that make me feel like shit.

Temperance at this stage of my life is drinking alcohol once every few weeks. It’s eating mostly vegan, with some cheat meals and snacks. Temperance is going to bed and waking up early even on days off. I try straying away from the habits that I know lead to my feeling shitty but I enjoy those things here and there. Then when I do and inevitably feel awful after, it’s easy to go back to healthier habits.

Fuel your body with what it needs to thrive. Determine the foods that make you feel great and throw away those that do the opposite. Refrain from alcohol and choose water just to realize how you can feel when fully hydrated. Once you know what makes you feel your best, it’s easy to stay away from the things that don’t, but it’s also possible to still enjoy them.

February 24, 2023

Shifting Priorities – What Will You Focus On?

My priorities are shifting and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

ETT Coffee is officially up and running now that I’ve begun taking orders for free samples. So far, I’ve received 35 orders and I’m thrilled and so grateful. With this rush of support, I’m discovering how much work is necessary. I’ve been figuring out logistics, driving back and forth, filling bags, folding boxes, printing labels, posting tik toks…

But you know what I haven’t been doing? Writing blogs, reading, or most of the other activities I was doing prior to launch. I’m realizing my priorities are shifting and it’s gonna be necessary to pivot a little in order to pursue my coffee venture.

It’s hard to switch my mindset from writing blogs each day, to writing them more infrequently and producing fewer each month. It’s tough not being able to sit down and read after work because I have orders to fulfill. Changing my whole routine and optimizing it further is far from easy or ideal right now, but it’s necessary.

With anything you do for long enough, it takes time and effort to break out of it – habits, routines, mindsets, etc. Just because it’s challenging doesn’t mean you get to not do it. If the new priorities and routines are more beneficial than the old, the effort is necessary.

I can choose to continue blogging to the same capacity, read the same amount, watch tik tok for just as long, and do everything the same as before, but to add coffee into that is a quick path to burnout. You have to realize what’s truly important to you and determine the capacity at which you can progress with each. It may not be as much or often as before the addition of this new priority, but doing something is better than nothing.

I view my priorities as a list and with the addition of ETT Coffee, I see the list shuffling around. ETT Coffee is a major goal for me, so it requires major attention. Of course I want to blog, podcast, and read, but choices have to be made. I can still do everything, it’ll just be at different capacities and that’s ok.

Determine what’s important to you, where your priorities lie, and how you want to spend your time. Be open to new routines because you never know when your priorities will shift.

February 22, 2023

Grunt Work – You’re Not Better Than Anyone or Any Job

No one wants the “grunt work”, but that’s the work that we all need.

“I don’t like work – no man does – but I like what is in the work, the ability to find yourself.” ~Joseph Conrad from Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday.

Work is tough sometimes. It’s not always exactly what you want to be doing. I don’t think anyone wants to deal with rude people, clean a kitchen for 3 hours, make 100 phone calls a day, etc. No one wants these things, but each can teach us more about ourselves.

If we want to improve and discover who we are versus who we want to be, we need work. These jobs and tasks show us what we’re capable of, what we’re good at, and also what needs work. The menial can show you your level of patience, your attention to detail, ability to analyze and adapt, and much more. If you’re struggling with something, work can bring it to the forefront of your attention.

You have to be able to notice and accept the traits hard work presents. Work will show you where you excel and where you can improve. It’s important to be humble with your talents, never cocky, but also open to admitting you have flaws. There’s nothing wrong with having flaws, but there is a problem with not doing anything about them.

So with whatever “grunt work” you’re committing time to, use it to find yourself. It may not be easy or ideal, but it’s not below you. Work is necessary and will show you a lot about who you are, what you enjoy, what you don’t, and where you can improve. Don’t ignore it. Do the work to the best of your ability and continue improving along the way.

February 18, 2023

Humble Beginnings – Start Small to Make it Big

“Greatness comes from humble beginnings, it comes from grunt work. It means you’re the least important person in the room – until you change that with results.” ~Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy

This quote resonated with me because I’m at the start of a, hopefully, long process of starting a coffee business. My beginnings aren’t flashy or super exciting to anyone looking in, but I think that’s what I want.

I want this to work, so I’m taking it slowly, but progressing no less. My plan continues to be taking it one step at a time. To analyze results, learn from mistakes and successes, then move to the next step when I’m ready. It’s not as exciting as people make it out to be, but for me, it’s everything.

I’ve never been one to accept compliments well and now is no different. I don’t even like writing blogs about my progress because it feels braggadocios. When someone tries ETT Coffee and says it’s delicious, or the smoothest they’ve ever had, I can’t help but think they’re lying. They’re just trying to make me feel good, right?

In part, I believe this is my attempt at not letting small wins go to my head. I don’t want to think everything I’m doing is perfect. If I do, I may stop trying so hard and analyzing better options. I realize I have a long way to go to reach my goals. Knowing this means I can’t be blinded by early victories.

Of course I’m grateful for all the support I’ve received, but I’m trying not to take that to mean I’m done. I think it’s important to be humble throughout the process of doing anything big, but especially so in the early stages.

If you let early victories go to your head, you may never achieve big results. You may let your ego rule and make decisions that don’t align with your original goals. Your ego craves money, attention, easiness, and success, so you’ll start making decisions based on those things. But staying humble allows you to see the bigger picture, the larger vision. From there, you continue making decisions that put you closer to that destination, even if they’re not easy.

So start small and stay humble. Be grateful for early wins, but never allow them to obscure your focus. You have so much to achieve. Objectives much bigger than just you, so keep to the path and don’t let anything push you off course.

Blinded By Anger – See the Good Around You

Don’t be blinded by anger or allow annoyance to distract you from seeing the good happening in front of you. This may be less than ideal, but there’s something to be grateful for.

A coworker called in sick and I was left to fend for myself. Of course it wasn’t a slow day, but one with multiple rushes and tasks to complete. These are the moments that test my patience and presence the most. I have yet to crack the code, but I’m aware of my choices and how I can improve.

My frustration was high in the moment. I was tired of taking and making orders. It felt like I couldn’t catch up or even take a breath. I grew curt with customers, lost my attention to detail and methods, and didn’t perform to the best of my ability. I was overrun with negative emotions and they blinded me from seeing the good in that moment.

On multiple occasions, a fellow employee came to assist me. They helped take care of customers while I did background work. They helped alleviate the pressure and make everything run more smoothly. But my negativity prevented me from being grateful in the moment.

In hindsight I was grateful, but I never even said thank you. I shut down and went aloof when I should’ve been appreciative and used those feelings to bring me back to my normal self. Even when they were helping me, I acted like I was alone and all the work was on me when it wasn’t.

You can’t be blinded by anger and let it prevent you from seeing the good that’s in front of you. There are moments when you’re stressed, but you have to try moving past that and realizing there’s something to be grateful for. Do your job well in every moment and if you are stressed, try to be aware of the good still happening in front of you.

February 15, 2023

Separating Ideas From People – How to Learn From Everyone

Is the act of separating ideas from people beneficial or right? Are we able to learn something from somebody that is known for saying shitty things or making poor choices?

I have a habit of removing the voice from the individual. An idea is a separate entity from the person who said it. If I hear a quote that resonates with me or promotes further consideration, I don’t care who said it. Why can’t I take this quote by Jordan Peterson – “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – and ponder it just because I don’t agree with a lot of his other opinions?

That quote is thought provoking. It encourages reflection and encourages me to use self-awareness to apply it to my own life. What’s so wrong with that?

Ok, I lied to you… That quote is from Marcus Aurelius, not Jordan Peterson. And this is what confuses me – there’s an entire group of people who’d hear that quote, thinking it was Jordan Peterson, and thus ignore it. But that same group, if informed the quote was from Marcus Aurelius, would listen and ponder. I don’t understand that!

I agree, bad people do not deserve attention. Shitty mindsets should not be spread. I think the differentiator is being able to understand this isn’t the only perspective or opinion. You need to be able to take each idea individually, consider multiple opposing angles, and then do your own self reflection.

To me, hearing ideas from others can be beneficial even if you don’t agree with most of what they say and do. You don’t have to attach deeper conditions to a quote and completely ignore it just because they said it. There’s no harm in learning from people you don’t agree with. I’m not saying you have to agree, but I think it’s important to listen.

Learning happens in your own mind. The decisions you make based on what you hear are what is important. Having the ability to hear someone out, without letting your ego and opinions get in the way, is a beneficial skill. Take their ideas, filter it through the logical part of the brain, not the emotional. You can learn from everyone, just know it isn’t the only opinion. Try separating ideas from people.

February 13, 2023

Find Your Why – Make Every Choice Easier

I recently finished reading Start With Why by Simon Sinek and it has me thinking about my choices related to business and “passive income”. How can you find your Why and only pursue what matters most?

The whole concept of the book is that successful businesses start by sharing their Why. They express the reasons for existing and the What and How come after. For instance, Apple’s Why is to be innovative. To inspire creatives to change the world. Apple’s What is the products they sell and their How is all the ways they do so.

Throughout the book, I considered my own Why, not only for ETT but for me. I think my Why is to live a fulfilled life. A life full of happiness, pursuing passions and hobbies, limited wasted time, and learning. My Why is to live life outside of the mundane and I want other people to do the same. There’s a lot to pursue and a lot to experience, so why waste our time away?

By considering my Why, I believe all my pursuits make sense for me. The podcast, blog, art, and ETT Coffee. Each of these uniquely attempts to spread this message of doing more in order to live a fulfilled life. The podcast shares stories of people who are exploring hobbies, the blog shares my mistakes, successes, and thoughts along my own journey, ETT Coffee fuels the motivation of passionate people, and my art is my own hobby.

This explains why I choose not to explore many alternative endeavors, specifically business related ones. It makes sense why I don’t invest time in learning copywriting, become a social media manager, flip houses, create low content books, start dropshipping, etc.

I don’t pursue these things because they don’t adequately scratch the itch that is my Why. These pursuits focus more on money and less on my own personal passions. I don’t want to invest my time in something I don’t really care about. Sure it’d be nice to have passive income and worry less about bills, but the investment doesn’t justify the reward to me.

Simon Sinek said the Why is sometimes hard to explain because it’s more of a feeling. Sometimes we’re just drawn to certain things because they resonate with us. That’s how I feel with these pursuits I don’t pursue. They don’t feel right to me. But what I do choose to pursue feel right.

Find your Why, the driving force for your actions. From there, focus on the What and How. Do whatever it takes to spread your Why and live it as often as you can. Refrain from investing too much time into those things that fall outside of it.

February 10, 2023

Life’s Tests – Acquiring New Skills and Methods

If you ask the Universe for patience, it does not give you patience. It gives you the tests necessary to develop patience on your own. ~Morgan Freeman, I think… Life’s tests will develop the person you want to be.

Whatever you believe in, God, the Universe, a higher power, whatever, when you ask for the ability to improve, you will be tested, not simply handed the ability. If you desire the patience to manage rude customers, you won’t immediately gain patience tomorrow. Wishing for the strength to be there for a friend in need doesn’t come automatically. The hope of a healthier lifestyle doesn’t happen just because you hope.

Any improvement comes from facing the obstacles that prevent the improvement from happening. Healthy choices don’t become easy overnight, they take time to develop. You’ll be put to the test every day and it’s up to you to choose that which helps you progress. Patience doesn’t form haphazardly, it comes from interacting with those people who elicit your feelings of impatience and your choice to stay present.

Any habit is formed with time and tests. If it came easily, everyone would do it. But, since you’re aware enough to know you’re doing something less than adequately, you have the ability to not resent, but wish for life’s tests. You’re able to wish for a skill and recognize when it’s put to the test, then make the choice to train the muscle.

It would be nice to develop these habits overnight, but that’s not how it works. So when you wish to be better, be prepared to be challenged. Be grateful for each opportunity to break old ways and try new methods. Be thankful because these moments create the person you want to become.

February 8, 2023

Rude Yesterday, Nice Today – Are You a Good Person?

Do past good deeds counteract wrongs in the present? It seems that some believe that being kind in the past should outweigh a failure to do so in the present and should be met with forgiveness. I’m not so sure about that.

I’ve realized recently how little I reflect on the past when dealing with people in the present. Typically, the actions of the person from yesterday do not alter how I treat you today. If you’re good 5 days in a row, but then on the 6th you do something rude, I’ll respond accordingly. Or if you’re rude for a week straight, but today you’re super nice, I’ll respond accordingly.

I try to live in the present moment as much as possible. I realize living in the past causes depression and living in the future causes anxiety. So if I’m constantly thinking of the mistakes of others from yesterday, I’ll be blind to their actions today. Of course all the moments I’ve shared with you will be in my mind. There’s an emotional bank account with everyone you interact with. The skill I try to attain is the ability to forget past misdeeds and be good to everyone in the present.

I don’t necessarily believe doing some good deeds in the past allow you to be an asshole today. Your past actions don’t counteract your present ones. At the same time, past kindness makes it easier to forgive and empathize when someone acts callously. Like if your best friend insults you, you don’t up and forget the past 5 years of friendship and walk away forever – you work through it.

So yes, past choices have an affect on present circumstances but they do not allow you to act however you want. Nothing makes anger, aggression, and cruelty ok. No amount of service, acts of kindness, or friendship should completely cancel out and allow for negative actions now. You cannot spit hate then say “I’ve done a lot for you.” and assume that makes it forgivable.

You decide what’s forgivable based on your interactions and emotional bank account with that person. The past doesn’t guarantee similar events in the present, but it can help determine how you should progress from here. Don’t feel pressured to forgive simply because someone is nice right now, but try to take every moment with presence and patience.

February 6, 2023

Where do Your Priorities Lie?

You can see where a person’s priorities lie not by their words but with their actions. Never feel compelled to prove yourself through words, but show your truth by acting on it daily.

I’ve been considering money a lot in the past couple weeks after posting a tik tok on the topic. The comments that fueled my thoughts were those stating I was jealous of the wealthy and lying to myself. It’s funny how these random people on the internet know me more than I know myself!

With consideration I realized, I don’t have any reason to argue with these people. There’s no need for me to prove where my priorities lie. My focus isn’t on making a ton of money or living lavishly. I know this and commenting on tik tok will not prove this to anyone.

Words do not prove anything. Actions do.

If money was my driving force, do you think I’d be a barista? Do you truly believe I’d be struggling to balance two part time jobs? Would I be using my free time to write blogs, record podcasts, and build a small coffee business? If I was truly driven by money, do you think I’d be making any of these choices?

There are a lot of actions I could be taking if I wanted to make money. Learning high income skills, working in sales, starting a passive business online, etc. But I’m not doing those things.

My priorities lie in my personal happiness and living a fulfilling life. My focus is on investing time in what I enjoy and building something bigger than myself. I want to inspire others to pursue hobbies and passions and live their own fulfilling life. Money doesn’t matter that much to me because I realize I only need enough to be comfortable. I know that’s possible to do even if I focus on the things I enjoy.

Forget trying to prove yourself to people by arguing your perspectives online. The best way to show what truly matters to you is to act. Be the person you know you are and do what you know to be true. Your daily choices show where your priorities lie.

February 3, 2023

To the Best of Your Ability

If you have to do something, make sure you do it to the best of your ability.

I’ve begun my second job and I’ve been training the past few weeks. There’s a lot to learn in order to help in the kitchen, at the bar, and at the espresso machine. Now, if it were up to me, I’d lock myself to the coffee station and never leave. But the job entails floating around the shop.

The past two shifts were spent in the kitchen, cleaning and closing. They were slow nights, giving me time to complete all the tasks, but it still took the entire shift. There was a part of me that didn’t want to be doing this. I thought, “I want to make coffee, not clean the kitchen!” but this is what I signed up for.

I’m not someone who half-asses a job, even if it’s not ideal. Even when I had a sales job, I worked through my grievances and tried my best to do well. So I thought about this more. I realized, since I have to clean the kitchen, I should do it to the best of my ability.

I love thinking analytically, coming up with new methods, and finding efficient procedures. Cleaning the kitchen is tedious if you want to do it well, but there are always ways to improve. So I took advantage of asking myself the right questions and let my brain ponder “How can I do these tasks better/ more efficiently?’

You may not always be doing exactly what you want to be doing, but that shouldn’t mean you stop trying your best. To be someone who has work ethic, tries their best, and takes on every task, you cannot pick and choose your moments. Possessing these qualities means acting on them whenever they’re put to the test, not just when you feel like it.

If you find yourself in a scenario that’s less than ideal, but necessary to endure, endure it with the same attitude you would with something you love. Do everything to the best of your ability and never stop trying to improve your methods. The task may be annoying, tedious, or boring, but you have the power to perform it well and prove you’re someone who does what’s necessary.

February 1, 2023

Being Happy With What You Have

It’s not that I don’t want those things, it’s simply that I don’t need them to be happy. Wouldn’t you rather be grateful for what you have, no matter how little, than be constantly chasing something you may never receive?

I really gotta stop posting tik toks about money… This time, the comments led to a lot of thoughts on my level of desire for money and other things. It’s amusing to me how some people just cannot fathom the ability to not desire wealth. They feel the only logical explanation for my claims is that I’m jealous and a hater. They believe I secretly crave money and fame because everyone does.

Stoicism and living my life has taught me a lot of important lessons. One lesson being the ability to curb desire and be happy with my present circumstances. I won’t lie to you, of course it would be wonderful to have enough money to never worry about anything ever again. I would love to be in a loving relationship with someone special. I’d be thrilled to have my own apartment, have friends all around me, and so many other things. But I don’t have all these things and that fact doesn’t steal my happiness.

I don’t sit and dwell on the fact that I don’t have the exact life I desire. My days aren’t me just fuming because I don’t have a girlfriend, millions of dollars, or my own business. I am happy where I am now because that’s a better feeling than desiring more. I have a lot to be grateful for right now even if it’s not exactly where I’d like to be.

This is the difference I think those commenters aren’t understanding. You can be happy where you are even if you’re not fully set and stable. People can be happy and be single. You can be perfectly proud working a 9-5 and saving a little money. It is possible and beneficial to look at your present state, accept it, and love it. If you desire more, work towards it, but never let it ruin your life in this moment.

You can choose to be happy right now with everything you have. That doesn’t mean you can’t desire more and work hard. It means you shouldn’t let those desires distract you from gratitude in the present moment.

January 30, 2023

How to Get Lucky

Do you ever look back on your life and consider how lucky you were? Like some things played out so perfectly, you never could’ve predicted it? Some people call it luck, but if you learn to control it and make your own luck, it ceases to be known as that.

I’ve thought a lot about luck in the past couple years. I often reflect on my past and realize a lot of moments played out better than I could’ve hoped. I was lucky to start my second job now because my first will probably not be here much longer. Luck placed me in Binghamton when it did and gave me an amazing group of friends.

When I look back at all these moments of luck, I wonder if it was that at all. I’ve started to see luck as a more controllable force – something that’s not random or hard to come by. My thought is that luck comes when you know the path you’re meant to be taking. Luck happens when you move with intention and know what you’re working towards.

With my love of coffee and desire to pursue it came two jobs, contact with a roasting partner, a trip to Oregon, and many opportunities for my own business to grow. Yes, there were a lot of obstacles, but the “lucky” moments still came through.

When you have an idea of where you want to go, you’re more open to and aware of opportunities. It’s like when you buy a new car then start seeing the same model everywhere. Your focus has shifted and you’re more tuned in. When you have a goal, you take more avenues that could lead to the next step. With enough time and attempts, luck comes naturally.

The benefit of having direction is that failures and mistakes rarely weigh on your mind. You can do everything wrong on your path towards your goal, but when that “luck” strikes, none of it will matter. Everyone will assume you just got lucky, but you’ll know it was always meant to be.

Luck comes from effort and time. You have to align yourself towards something – some version of yourself that’s better than you are now. When you know where you need to go, you need to start making steps towards that point. With the intention of being better and achieving something, luck will happen naturally. It’s important to enjoy each moment too. Even when you slip up, remember it’s all a part of accomplishing your goals.

Start creating your own luck. Pick a direction for yourself and start making moves. Luck will show soon enough.

January 27, 2022

A Strike to the Ego

I’ve gained awareness of moments when I grow angry. What is it about those situations that propel me to defend myself or fight back? What makes specific topics lead to an emotional response when other things bounce right off me? It seems like my ego is what’s getting in my way.

It’s in moments when I feel attacked that I need to defend – obviously – but why do I feel attacked? There is something about specific topics, phrasings, and points of views that draw the negativity out of me. I’m trying to look deeper into the reactions and discover why they’re happening.

One instance is seeing a tik tok of someone doing or saying something absurd or nonsensical but still receiving thousands of likes and comments. I see a video like this and it pisses me off. Instead of scrolling past, I wonder why that elicited such strong emotions. With deeper consideration I realize it struck my ego, one of my insecurities.

As someone who creates content that tries to inspire people, but receives few views, makes it hard to see a pointless video with millions of views. It strikes this chord in my mind making me feel like I’m wasting my time and energy. Do people really care about what I’m saying or would people rather watch content with no purpose other than quick entertainment?

This practice of looking deeper into these instances can shed light on your insecurities, desires, and hopes. Looking deeper can help you adjust your focus towards the things you personally need to pay attention to.

There’s some reason you respond defensively to some things but not others. Figuring out what these things are and why you do can teach you a lot about yourself. The hard part is preventing your ego from obscuring your logical thoughts and responses.

My hope is that by bringing awareness to these ego-attacks, I can more easily catch them and prevent them from causing the emotional response. I can discover what triggers me, why it does so, and how I can overcome that insecurity or work on that desire.

With my above example, I can realize I feel unheard, like my ideas don’t matter and I can work on changing the narrative in my head. Instead of desiring more views, I can be grateful for the ones I receive. I can continue working on sharing my ideas in different ways to see what sticks. With enough time and repetition of a positive inner dialogue, it’ll become second nature. My ego will no longer feel attacked because I’ll realize there’s a place for my content just like there’s a place for their content.

Try paying attention to the words and events that draw negativity out of you. What do these moments tell you about yourself? Once you discover your deepest insecurities, you can work towards overcoming them.

January 24, 2023

Expensive Hobbies – Spend Money on What Matters

With more thought on money, I’ve come up with an alternate perspective to add to my current thoughts. The past couple posts I wrote on money painted a picture of excessive spending and showing off wealth. My thoughts were that when you have more money than you need, you start buying things you don’t. Money no longer is a tool, but a way to prove your status to others. While I still believe this, there’s an additional part of the puzzle I didn’t consider – expensive hobbies and passions.

While listening to an episode of The Tim Ferriss Podcast, the guest brought up his love for unique, historic watches. For instance, his watch – the Rolex Milgauss – was specifically designed for scientists to withstand exposure to high electromagnetic forces. This hobby of his isn’t cheap, but he’s passionate about it which makes all the difference to me.

I will concede that there are people in the world who have expensive hobbies. I personally do not have the same interests and can’t wrap my head around them, but they could say the same about my hobbies. Just like I choose to spend money on coffee and art, someone else wants to spend money on cologne, clothes, cars, etc.

The differentiator of excessive use of money is the intention behind it. There are people who buy these things because they genuinely love them. People are passionate about niche things and love collecting them. There are also people who do not have a passion or hobby in these purchases and are therefore more likely to buy them for more surface level/ insecure reasons.

I will never tell someone how they should spend their money. If you have a lot of it, do whatever you want. In my eyes, we’re all trying to feel worthy of recognition, feel like we matter, and have some level of success. For some, external validation is necessary to feel those things while others receive it internally. Some feel nice clothes, cars, watches, and houses give them the feelings they crave.

That’s not how I see it and that’s ok. Do whatever makes you happy and motivates you to achieve something bigger than yourself. Just try your best not to let objects ruin your life and destroy your dopamine receptors. Money is a tool. Use it to fund the life you want to live, not one that looks good to someone else.

January 23, 2023

The Perfect Chess Move – Stop Staling and Make a Move

Your desire to make the best choice in this moment, prevents you from progressing in whatever you’re trying to achieve.

There’s a fear that comes with big goals – making mistakes and wrong decisions. This fear cannot prevent you from taking action. If you find yourself staling, trying to make the perfect next move, think about this question:

What is the perfect chess move?

There isn’t one – well, only in a few cases when the choice is obvious. In the majority of cases though, there are many moves a player can make. The only way to determine how good the move was is to see how the game progresses. It’s the same with your self improvement and goals.

Progress brings the need to make choices, adapt, and drop old ways. There will often be times when we don’t know which direction to go in. We know what we’re doing now isn’t adequate, we’re ready for more, or we learn something new. When these moments arise, we cannot let the desire to make the perfect move prevent us from progressing.

Sometimes you will make the perfect chess (life) move, but typically there isn’t a perfect one. There’s no way to know in that moment, so all you can do is use your best judgement and see how it plays out. Make the decision you believe is best in that moment, live with it and see if it helps, if it doesn’t just try something else.

There’s no harm in making the wrong choice as long as you’re willing to ask yourself what you’ve learned then improve from there. You’re always going to have to make choices and improve methods if you want to grow and prevent stagnation. So the next time you have to make a move, weigh your options, choose the one that feels best or makes the most sense, then let life play out.

After that, rinse and repeat.

January 20, 2023

External Validation is Destroying You

What choices are you making in order to receive external validation? Initially you may say “None” but if you consider it more, you may find some things that need change.

After a recent tik tok about my thoughts on money, I’ve been thinking deeply on our desire for material things. The typical point was brought up – some people like to celebrate their success by buying nice watches, cars, etc. Is it true that some people truly enjoy “the finer things” or is there something deeper? Some sense of needing external validation.

As I’ve considered this more deeply, I find it hard to understand it from any other lense than needing validation. I’ll gladly concede that I may be wrong because I know this is simply my unique perspective, but this is how I view it.

I ask myself, “Why would you need to buy a watch to prove you’re successful?” My thought is that people do so because they can, they finally have the money to buy X or Y, so they do. But why do you need a physical thing to prove that/why do you need to prove that? You know more than anyone that you have the money, just look at your bank account! In buying this thing, it’s taking what you know to be true and visually presenting it to the world.

That act of turning your awareness of your own success into an object that others can see is, in my eyes, external motivation. There is some underlying motivation and desire to present your success and ability to afford expensive things. There’s an attachment of nice things to success. There’s an additional weight added to these material things – we’re no longer seeing them for what they actually are.

I’ve talked about the Stoic practice of breaking things down and that fits well into this topic. Any watch you buy does one thing, tells you what time it is. Every house shelters you from the elements. A car gets you from A to B. Do this with anything and you’ll see where you add more weight and meaning to objects.

A “nice” watch still tells time, but the niceness of it does more – it shows other people you spent the money on it. A big house shelters you, but it shows others you can afford it. Fast cars get you from A to B (not faster because of speed limits), but they tell other people you can afford it.

All of these things are externally motivated. There’s no need to attach greater meaning to objects that serve a specific purpose. The addition of price value does not increase the value of the purpose. When you can afford exactly what you need and everything does what it’s supposed to, spending more becomes excessive. As you begin to buy and desire more, it slowly becomes more externally motivated.

You do not need to prove you worth to anyone. There’s no need to prove your success to anyone. You know your worth and you decide you’re successful, not with objects, but with security, happiness, and passion.

January 18, 2023

There’s No Need To Prove Yourself

Why do I feel the need to prove myself to strangers on the internet? Why do I need to defend my beliefs to someone who doesn’t know a damn thing about me?

I hate when someone’s perception of me is something I’m not. For many years, I’ve worked hard to develop the person I am now. I’ve invested a lot of time and energy into Stoicism, financial literature, self improvement, health, and making myself a better person. So when someone tells me I’m something I’m not, it irks me.

I posted a video about money and someone called me jealous of rich people. That’s far from what I am and I know that, but it still pisses me off. Why? Why does my chest tighten when someone disagrees with me or assumes my insecurities incorrectly?

Deep down, I think we all have a desire to gain acceptance from others. We all want to feel our thoughts are important, our creations are worthwhile, and our presence is desired. So when I try so hard to be a good person, a Stoic, patient, and open to alternate perspectives, only for someone to say I’m the opposite, it fuckin hurts.

Aren’t they doing and feeling the same things? The only reason they’re saying anything is because I struck a chord and went against their personal beliefs. They feel the need to fight back, defend their own perspective, and get their voice heard. It takes something powerful to cause someone to comment hatred. There’s something inside them that needs to come out. I can’t fault them for wanting to express themself.

With the desire to share your ideas with the world comes backlash. You cannot pander to everyone’s opinions. There is no way to prove one perspective is better than another and there’s no point in trying.

Share your ideas as long as you’re being true to yourself. If and when someone disagrees, try to realize there’s more to their comment than just their words. There’s an entire life of experience, trauma, and negativity behind that comment. In the end, you’re both trying to feel heard and accepted.

Never let some dummy on the internet tell you who you are or what you believe, determine it for yourself.

January 16, 2023

Money is Unnecessary – A Stoic View of Spending Habits

Money is a tool and once you have enough to pay for the necessities, you really don’t need any more. There’s no reason to chase tens of millions of dollars. Once you reach a certain point, money is unnecessary and you’ll simply start searching for ways to spend it.

This is how I view money now. My viewpoints weren’t always like this and they may change, but I doubt that. I used to believe I needed to make millions and I spent a lot of time in college trying to figure out how I could do so. My belief was that being successful meant I could buy anything, live extravagantly, and travel forever.

Now, after reading and growing a lot, I’ve realized this is not how I want to view money. Money is simply a tool that we need in order to survive. I believe excessive amounts of money is pointless and after a certain point, starts bringing out insecurities in the person who possesses it.

Once you have enough money to pay for your necessities – housing, food, water, bills – everything else is a Want, not a Need. There’s nothing wrong with having Wants, enjoying nice clothes, cars, and food, but I think there is a point where it’s unnecessary.

People don’t buy big homes, fast cars, and expensive clothes to prove to themselves they’re successful. People buy those things to prove it to others. Buying a Rolex isn’t for your pleasure, it’s ultimately so you feel successful in the eyes of other people because in the end, all that shit does is tell the time. What good is a 10 bedroom mansion if you live alone?

Anything more than what’s necessary is not for you, it’s for some other reason. If you have so much money that you spend it just to spend it, you have too much money. Once you can pay for the necessities and fund your hobbies and passions, you can lay back.

You work your entire life to reach this level of “success” so you buy a Rolex? What good is that many years of hardwork if it only amounts to you being able to tell time? Are you happy where you are or are you constantly seeking another trip or purchase?

Once the necessities are covered, your search for the next trip, house, boat, car, watch, etc. are nothing more than a distraction from your deep-seated insecurity, trauma, and need to “prove” something to the world. Your loneliness, anxiety, depression, cynicism, and greed will be there no matter where you go or what you buy.

I believe immense sums of money is unnecessary. But what do I know? I’m just a confused 20-something with no money.

January 13, 2023

What’s the Point of Being a Good Person?

What’s the point of being a good person if you can be an asshole, take advantage of good people, and still get what you want? Why do jerks get the rewards while the good guys have to move along and accept life and all its inconveniences? Maybe there are no benefits to being a good person…

We closed the coffee shop early and it was met with some backlash from customers. Most were courteous, said “No worries”, and moved along. There was however, one particular customer who acted maliciously.

It was a response full of anger, annoyance, blame, and many other negative synonyms. They weren’t happy because they were told we closed at 4, on this day we closed at 1 for staffing complications, so they expressed their discontent.

Why is it that this person can spit hatred at us for a simple inconvenience, be incredibly rude, but then receive incredibly kind customer service from other people in the store? Why does the Bad Guy receive the benefits while the Good Guys receive nothing?

If it were up to me, I would’ve gladly given free coffee to all the customers who kindly understood our conundrum and chose to walk away gracefully. Their simple act of moving along made our lives easier and for that, we were grateful. But they got nothing – the one rude person did. So what’s the point of being a Good Guy if the Bad Guy got what they wanted?

There has to be some underlying, long-term benefit to being good. Something to do with increased cortisol levels in the veins of Bad Guys which causes health complications not shown in Good Guys. I hope there are benefits to being a good person, something that makes continuously moving past inconveniences worthwhile.

To me, it feels better to be good. There’s no tightness in my chest, somersaults in my stomach, shortness of breath, or later regret. Acceptance of fate, while difficult initially, makes me stronger and more resilient. So little hate, anger, and negativity within me is freeing. It has to be better, right?

Bad Guys don’t always get what they want, it may just seem like they do. Even if they’re able to take advantage of the Good Guy and get what they want, the Good Guy wins because they were the better person. They stepped up and helped someone even though they may not have wanted to. That takes immense strength that not many people possess.

Be a Good Guy. We’ll win the battle in the end.

January 11, 2022

Focus On Yourself – Learning To Accept Everyone’s Habits

We each have our own way of doing things. As long as no one is being harmed, let everyone do what they will and you do the same. Focus on yourself and the task at hand.

I believe the way I do my job is optimal. I feel like I perform tasks with analytical intention and consider the most beneficial process for not just me, but others. Here’s the thing though… we all think that.

It’s unlikely someone does their job and thinks, “This is the worst way to do this, but I’m gonna keep doing it.” or “Let’s do this to screw everyone else’s day up!” Each of us acts in ways we believe are best and when someone acts in opposing ways, we grow peeved.

Sometimes, instead of realizing these differences in techniques, we act passive aggressively. We may believe this person is acting out of spite and trying to make us mad. Maybe it’s the optimist in me, but I don’t think that’s the intention of the majority of people.

While one person keeps the workspace clean and tidy as they work, another may find it more efficient to clean in spurts when the mess is more noticeable. One person may respond to emails promptly, while another batches their emails every hour. I pour the espresso over the milk and ice while you pour the espresso first then the milk.

Let them do their job how they want and you focus on yourself and doing it your way. If something they do bothers you, try asking them why they do it that way as opposed to being spiteful and passive aggressive. Hear their side of the story and maybe discover a new way of accomplishing your shared task.

January 9, 2023

Robot Barista – A Lesson On Taking Things Too Seriously

Have you ever been threatened to be replaced by a machine? A robot that can do your job just as well as you? Well, I am right now! The robot barista is coming for me…

There’s a trial run happening where they’re replacing the store’s coffee shop with a machine that makes all the drinks with the touch of a button. If they find it’s more cost-effective… bye-bye Barista Bryce! So does this freak me out? What does this mean for my long-term goals of owning a coffee shop?

To be honest, I’m not too concerned. In part, that’s because I have a second job to fall back on should my store opt for the robot barista. On top of that, I believe there will always be a demand for human baristas – the interaction you receive in the morning when you get your coffee. Sure, some people just want efficiency so they can caffeinate quickly, but others love the people involved.

This possibility of a Coffee Coup is teaching me to just enjoy what I have now. Who cares if my schedule sucks this week, if it’s ridiculously busy, if one person is rude, or if anything goes wrong? Why take this so seriously when in the end, what I’ll miss most is the good things.

If this particular job goes robotic, then so be it! Looking back, I won’t think of the trivial grievances I once had. I’m going to miss the regulars, the happiness people have when I remember their order, all the employees who stop by, and my coworkers.

You never know what the future holds for your life. One day you may be replaced by a robot, so try to take things a little less seriously today.

January 6, 2023

Nobody Cares About Your Hobbies – Forming Friendships on Social Media

What do you think is more important – having a ton of fans or having just enough people who love you for who you are and want to support you?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot the past few months. As I’ve scrolled on tik tok and realized just how many creatives there are in this world. Every other video I see is another musician, artist, entrepreneur, or someone trying to share their ideas. How can anyone possibly stand out in this immense sea of talent?

You don’t have to – at least, that’s how I see it. There appears to be a switch from liking what a person creates to instead liking the person first then the creation. It’s no longer just the music that speaks to us, it’s the person singing. The blog topic doesn’t matter if I don’t know who you are.

The creation isn’t as important until they know who you are. You could have a bop of a song, but if I scroll to your video and I have no affiliation, I probably won’t stop. It’s the same with any content.

There may be tricks to grab a person’s attention, i.e. hooks, moving pictures, text on screen, etc. however, you want people to not only listen, but to hear and see your other creations. To do that, you need to be someone they care about.

In this “new world” of social media, especially tik tok, where we’re bombarded with new creatives every day, you have to stand out. The best way to do that is to show people who you are, not just exhibit your creations. Share your story, hobbies, fears, process, and mistakes. Be yourself and let people decide if they want to see more from you.

Much like meeting new people and starting friendships, not everyone you meet will be a lifelong friend. Form connections with the few people who truly enjoy your content and your personality. These are the ones who will want to support you in your creative endeavors.

Focus on sharing yourself first, then share your creations.

January 4, 2022

ChatGPT and the Demise of Creativity

What makes something unique or creative? Does it all have to do with the person making it? Is creativity the ability to form an idea and turn it into something real? With the slow rise of technology and AI, is there any point in creating our own works?

I discovered this new AI called ChatGPT. It’s an AI that can take any prompt you give it and relay information back to you. This can be anything from writing full segments of code, coming up with video scripts, designing bedrooms, writing poetry, and so much more. I can’t even begin to grasp the innumerable applications for ChatGPT.

Just from messing around with it, this has me questioning creativity and where we’re going to go from here. If I can tell an AI to write a blog about habit formation and it does, what good is my voice? For musicians who have writers block, what’s stopping them from feeding ChatGPT prompts and having it write a catchy verse?

Is there any reason for anyone to try being creative anymore? Should all the writers, musicians, artists, etc. simply ask the AI? Why waste our time and energy forming new ideas? Why write our own longwinded articles, develop apps on our own time, or do anything creative?

This is something I have to consider more because I have yet to find clarity. I need to ponder the capabilities of ChatGPT and see where human creations differ. What makes our work unique, special, and worth producing? There has to be something, right?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this as I continue pondering the implications, so please comment below, DM, or reach out however you can!

January 2, 2023