What more do I have to do to be enough? How much more self improvement do I need before I’m ready?
Loneliness is so difficult. There are times when I’m completely fine being alone. There are times when I’m happy with where I’m at and everything I have. But the loneliness always finds it’s way in.
The feelings grow worse when I think I’m so close to having what I desire and have been wishing for for so long. I think I’m so close, but apparently I’m nowhere near where I need to be.
I get it, not everyone is going to like me the way I like them. I can see all the red flags and comprehend why it would never work, but sometimes I just wish we could try. I don’t care if we don’t last, but I want to know that I’m enough for someone. I want to know that I’m a person someone can see themselves with because I don’t know how much more I can change before it happens.
I know we’re not a good match, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I still hope you’ll reach out to me, put in the effort to see me, make me feel like I’m not overbearing.
I think I’ll be hoping for a long time.
I don’t blame you. I know this is all on me. I just need time and the ability to accept. I’ve gone this long being alone, so I just have to keep going and act like there was never a chance between is in the first place.
So as my mind spirals, I hope whoever is reading this is doing ok. If you’re feeling lonely, I’m sorry. I truly feel for you and hope you find what you’re looking for. We all need to be reminded we are good enough, whether that person sees it or not. Anyone who doesn’t see how amazing you are is missing out. So I hope you know you’re doing great and some day someone will realize how incredible you are.
Until that day, keep trying your best, don’t let the world get you down, and never let other people determine your value. Be proud of who you are and always be true to yourself.
September 4, 2024
