You can’t skip steps. In order to form life-long friendships, find success in your career, and achieve your fitness goals, you have to follow the steps.
I’ve realized I’ve had a hard time making friends since I left college. I’ve struggled to form that deep connection I have with the people from school with anyone new. Oftentimes when I meet new people, it just feels surface level friendly. If it weren’t for the bar, work, or the gym we’d never actually hangout. We enjoy talking when we see each other, but then we never talk when we’re away.
Most of the people I’ve met never have conversations about their personal life outside of the basics of work and what’s new. We don’t talk about our goals, fears, past experiences, or family. It all just feels like an excuse to pass the time.
I think the issue I’m facing is trying to compare a friendship built over 8 years to one that just started 3 months ago. I’m trying so hard to fill the void of not seeing my college friends that I expect a new acquaintance to be at the same level. I’m trying to skip all the steps it takes to meet a new person, talk to them, hang out, learn about them, go through shit together, and everything else it takes to form a real bond.
You can’t skip these steps just because you want the outcome. Not with friendship, starting a business, igetting in shape, or anything that’s meaningful. You have to start at the beginning like everyone else. Of course learning from the past decisions of others can guide you and help speed the process, but you still have to do the work.
If you want to build anything meaningful, you have to put in the effort. You can’t skip the hard shit, you can’t ignore steps, you can’t expect to be perfect. This shit takes time and consistent effort. So put in the work and build slowly.
October 14, 2024
