The past couple weeks have been rough. No amount of sleep suffices, no breathing exercises fight off the negative thoughts, anxiety has returned over circumstances I believed I worked through, and sadness over the past has fueled my actions.
I’m not sure why exactly this is all coming back, but I guess the cause doesn’t matter as much as the response. For the past couple weeks, my response hasn’t been ideal – laziness, clutter building up, poor eating habits, letting tiredness prevent me from going to the gym or on walks. These mood swings suck and they truly burn me out. When they happen, I tend to forget how I escaped them in the past. Today I chose to start that process again.
The mind comes before anything else for me – if there’s no mental clarity, the likelihood of progress in my physical health and well-being are slim to none. Stoicism is typically the kick starter to getting back to myself, so my intention this morning was to read and reflect. My quote of the day I’m repeating to myself when thoughts run rampant is, “These thoughts are not my own. Return to myself.” The passages I read discussed the acceptance of random occurrences in life. Much like a doctor prescribes medication to a sick patient, so too does Nature prescribe certain events to every person. It is not your job to debate, to argue with what Nature prescribes you, much like you wouldn’t question your doctor’s remedy. Your responsibility is to accept and progress forward.
I realize the things I’m anxious about, the events I dwell on, and the struggles I’m working through are minor compared to what others may be dealing with, but that doesn’t make them unimportant. There’s a quote from Perks of Being a Wallflower that expresses this idea – “I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won’t tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn’t change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have.” This is important to remember. Your struggles are real, your anxiety is real, and so is your depression. Yes, other people may be in a worse position, but that doesn’t make your hardships less important.
I’m not saying it’s easy to pull yourself out of a funk, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. I know it can be incredibly challenging to take the first step, you may not even know what that first step should be. For me, it happens to be reverting back to the simple habits of reading Stoicism, reflecting on my choices and the things in my control, and focusing on diet and exercise. For you it may be different. For some reason, I fall out of these habits regularly and I slip into this pit if left untreated for too long. It always takes a little time to clear the debris from my mind, but once I commit and stay consistent, the path becomes more clear.
Stoicism teaches you to accept what Nature chooses to place in front of you and to do the hard thing – love every moment of it. How can you possibly love this though? How can I feel this sad and be grateful? Where can love be found when you see how good you had something and realize you’ll never have that again? Who has the strength to love the immense effort it takes to choose going to the gym and cooking a healthy meal when all you want to do is lie in bed and hope for a better night’s sleep?
It helps me to see it as a challenge – something to overcome. This is a test given to the soldier Nature deemed worthy of bearing its weight. Your job is to accept the test and not let it prevent you from acting virtuously. No matter what, you need to show up every single day and be a good person, to act with courage, seek wisdom, act justly, and not let temptation distract you. So when you face a challenge, you see it as an opportunity to show your strength. You don’t do it to gain praise, you do it to prove your resilience to yourself. Every challenge is a gift.
If you want to be better, you have to act with virtue no matter how you feel. There is no excuse for not trying. You may mess up in the process, but if you act with intention, you can acknowledge your mistake and be better in the future. No matter what, try your best, every single day.
Take that first step towards dusting off the cobwebs in your brain. Make the choice to not let this thing stop you from being the best version of yourself. Go for a walk, read some philosophy, meditate, reflect in a journal, do something. I know it’s hard, but your ability to overcome this is stronger than any obstacle.
Love every struggle and face it head on. Nature wouldn’t have prescribed this if it didn’t believe you could manage it.
August 4, 2025
