The sooner you accept and make peace with Death, the sooner you can start living.
We have this habit of trying to run from Death, to escape its grasp, but Death is undefeated. I picture life as one of those moving walkways in an airport, only moving in one direction towards its destination. We’re all placed upon this platform and given a choice – speed up the movement, walk in the opposite direction, or stand and allow the platform to bring us to the other side.
To propel yourself forward with the motion is a topic I’m going to save for another blog. I believe we make decisions, whether conscious or unconscious, that speed up the process of dying. Our habits and desires can either prolong life or shorten it. The severity of our pain of existence is reflected in the choices we make every day and through poor choices, we shorten that existence.
The act of moving against the flow is clearly pointless. Whether you fight it or not, you will soon find yourself at the other end of the walkway. Here, you will have no choice but to accept your fate.
There are moments throughout all our lives that bring us face-to-face with Death. These moments elicit thoughts and emotions that beg to be acknowledged, but we often stuff them down, numb them, or brush them aside. The loss of a grandparent, a mom or dad, a sibling, a friend, a coworker, or anyone close to us is Death placing its hands upon our shoulders, reminding us that we will meet the same fate.
From Death’s reminders we feel fear, grief, anger, and so much more. Why?
That is for each of us to discover. In this blog, I’ll share my thoughts on Death and dying – what dying means to me, how I’m facing my fears of Death, learning to accept mortality, and how making peace with my fate encourages action.
This is not a blog to evoke concern of my well-being in my readers, but a reminder. I believe we should all face our fears of dying and find peace in the process, not through careless action, but through introspection. You don’t need to witness death to contemplate it. This blog may trigger some undesirable thoughts and emotions surrounding death within you. I encourage you to sit with them and see what they can teach you.
Death should not be feared, nor should it be rushed. If you cannot face these thoughts and emotions alone, please reach out to someone who can help you.
With that, as I always say, I don’t have all the answers, but I hope my expedition to try finding them in my life inspires you to start the search in your own.
Memento Mori
“Death is not dying, it’s an escape. An event of great sorrow for those that have loved you – a time that will come – when we least expect it. A moment we have never dreamed of. So live and be in the moment. Look around and see that Death is around and stalking us always. In the Renaissance, a memento mori was a skull in a painting – a reminder of Death to put fear in the living to live life now, to remind us of our mortality. So live, live, live, and dare to experience life with all its aches and pains, for this is truly dying.”
The phrase Memento Mori has been etched into the skin of my left chest for five years now, but only recently did I fully feel its weight. The Stoics used Memento Mori often. “Remember you must die” was an important grounding thought when the ego took over. No matter who you are, you cannot escape death and there’s no reason to act like you can.
Every morning, I look in the mirror and see these words on my chest. They don’t always spark much thought or emotion, but there are times when they do. A few weeks ago, I sat down and reflected on my own death for the first time in my life. Up to this moment, death was a concept, something I knew was real but never felt. There’s a moment when knowledge becomes wisdom, when words become a feeling, a cliche becomes a true belief. As I sat there at the kitchen table, writing my thoughts on dying, the formless concept of death gained shape within my spirit.
This wasn’t a question of where we go when we die, I’m not concerned with that. For if there is nothing after this, I don’t want to waste my one life wondering what my second will look like. When I wrote about dying, it begged the question of what would be lost. One minute I’m here and the next I’m not. To die is to lose my subjectivity. All these emotions, impressions, thoughts, ideas, everything that is me is now gone. All that is left is the objective perspective of my being. All the people who know me or will know me at the time of my passing will hold their own perception of me within their minds, but that’s not me.
Death is the end of this unique set of chemical reactions that flow throughout my corporeal form. When those reactions cease, the body no longer serves a purpose. The shell that once held my subjectivity takes longer to breakdown, but without my will doing what it can keep the body intact, it’s free to dissolve.
I do like to think that the organic material of my being will be funneled into other life, but that will no longer be any concern after I’m gone. To think about death is to think about losing what only I can experience. Knowing all these internal experiences will come to an end begs the question – what do I do with this knowledge?
Preparation
Thinking about the loss of my subjectivity saddens me. I feel devastated to think of all the ideas in my mind disappearing without ever being expressed. If I were to leave this life tomorrow, I’d have quite a few regrets over experiences yet to be had and works left unfinished.
This is the reason it’s been so important to me to start sitting with my fears over death. When death peaks into my mind for whatever reason, it’s a reminder of what needs to be done.
This blog has become a way to turn my subjective opinions of the world into words. I write to share the lessons I’m learning as a way to potentially help someone else. I believe words have a unique ability to evoke emotions within other people. It’s as if my subjectivity has the power to affect someone else’s and I think that’s cool as hell.
I love the idea of helping other people, I always have. This blog and my videos on social media are an attempt to do that on a larger scale. In order to put my subjectivity out into the world before it’s too late, I have to actually do the things necessary. To prepare for death means to make these thoughts available to the world, but not just these blogs and videos, but all my notes. While I haven’t made my notes public yet, it’s something that I’m moving towards as a way to prepare.
It’s even simpler things like passwords, I want to make sure the people who need access to my important information have it if I’m not here. All my bank accounts, investments, and oher important information should be accessible to my family, so those things can be distributed if need be.
With regrets, it’s not so much regretting things that I did, but things that I didn’t do or didn’t experience. Reflecting on death brings these activities to the forefront of my mind. If tomorrow was my last day and I was aware of it, there are certain things I’d be bummed to know I never did, so I’m reminded to make the effort to do those things as soon as I can or at least make an effort. Even if I’m scared now, I make an effort to work towards them, so I’ll at least feel content with the attempt if it never happens.
Most importantly, death brings my character into question. If nothing else, I want to be remembered for being a good person. The morals and values I want to embody, the person I want to be known for being needs to be who I am every day with everyone I interact with. When I’m gone, I want people to think of me positively, as someone caring, Stoic, kind, and helpful. In order for that to happen, I need to be that person every day because it could all end in the blink of an eye and then I’d have no second chance.
Final Thoughts
I don’t know if there will ever be a time when I’ve fully accepted death, but my aim is to grow more at peace with it every chance I can get. When the day comes when I have to leave this life, I will be as ready as I can be.
Death reminds me to live. So as I write this, seated at the kitchen table, my cousin chopping veggies, his girlfriend making elote, my uncle walks in and burbs, the family enjoying our yearly vacation on the lake, I make the effort to prepare for death, but I also have to live. I don’t force these thoughts if it means missing out on life. I’ve learned to prioritize certain things and I keep those in mind always. Even if this blog is unfinished, at least I tried in between experiencing all the events that inspire my thoughts. If I’m granted another day, I’ll be grateful for another opportunity to make things happen.
Life is meant to be experienced, all its ups and downs. Life isn’t meant to be taken too seriously or rushed. It will all come to an end, but knowing that shouldn’t be scary, just kept in mind. If I’m scared to die, I should take the advice of the Stoics and proceed with caution. Fear should not prevent right and proper action, it should show you where your focus needs to be directed.
Memento Mori, remember you must die. You cannot escape this fate, so prepare for it. Whatever that means for you. Do whatever you can to prepare for the day you’re no longer here. Try new things, be there for people, create, take calculated risks, share your ideas, learn, and do what you can to enjoy and find meaning in life. Always remember that you will die and never forget to live.
July 26, 2026
