Every so often I ask myself, “Why do I have to be Stoic? Why do I have to be the better person? Why can’t I get mad and lash out like so many other people?” When I think these things, I remind myself to consider the alternative.
I question the need to be Stoic, to be the better person, to be calm and focused when my mindset is out of whack. The questioning comes when I’m stressed, annoyed at work, peeved by someone’s actions, and so on. Basically, when I need Stoicism the most.
So the practice I’m incorporating into my life is to consider the alternative. What’s the opposite of Stoicism or what negative emotions do I desire to feel or poor choices do I want to make?
In moments of stress I desire to feel anger. I would rather let my aloofness consume me. I’ll lash out, scream, swear, and blame the world. For once I’ll let myself be sad, to go down the rabbit-hole of anxiety, and let all the emotions and thoughts weigh on my mind and body.
Does that really sound enjoyable? Why would I want to experience any of those things? That’s the thing, I don’t want to feel those emotions, think those thoughts, or perform those actions. What I want is the easy way out, but easy is not the best in this case.
Anxiety sucks. Sadness sucks. Anger sucks. Regret sucks. None of these things are desirable, but they’re easy. Easy in the sense that you don’t have to do anything to feel them. These emotions are always there, all you have to do is let go and out they come.
Being Stoic is not easy. Neither is being patient with yourself and others, being the better person, staying consistent when you want to be lazy, or breathing through negativity. It is not easy, but it’s better than the alternative.
In my mind, it’s better to struggle to be Stoic than let all the negativity overwhelm you. When you try to be better, the unwanted emotions can’t attack in full force. While it may be difficult at times, the outcome is more likely to be positive and you won’t do something you regret.
So when you experience stress and adversity, stay strong. Stay Stoic to the best of your ability. If you ever feel the desire to drop the productive response, try reminding yourself to consider the alternative and ask yourself if that’s really what you want.
November 7, 2022
