If there’s something inside you that’s holding you back, you have to find a way to release it. Get the poison out, don’t hold it in any longer.
I’ve been reading “When the Body Says No” by Gabor Mate – a book touching on the relationship between stress and health complications. Then, recently I saw this video by Gary Vaynerchuk and I decided to write something.
For so long, I’ve worked on developing a Stoic nature – I focus on the controllable, I try staying quiet when someone offends me, and I attempt to brush aside stress and instead focus on the present. But, in reading Mate’s book, a particular line scared me – “suppression of anger and a passive, stoic response style seem to be associated with biological risk sequelae.”
Reading this, I immediately thought “Fuck… that’s what I do.” All this time I thought that’s what a Stoics do. It was my idea that I was meant to hold my initial pain, stress, and anger down until I was ready to respond productively. Now I’m learning I may have misinterpreted it.
Repression of negative emotions is not healthy. While you may respond to situations in a seemingly productive, Stoic way, you still have the negativity inside you. You cannot hold that within you and continue acting like nothing bothered you. You need to get the poison out.
This can mean hardships from your childhood that still haunt you. It can be thoughts from past relationships, regrets, major mistakes, or any other poison you hold within you. Keeping these thoughts and emotions buried deep down will do nothing but cause more harm.
I still believe Stoicism teaches a productive way of responding to life and its obstacles, but there’s more to it than I initially thought. If something bothers you and holds you back from being your true self, you do not have to continue burying it. You don’t have to continue telling yourself to “move on” or repeat Stoic mantras. If you cannot overcome it, find a way to release it.
Talk to somebody, write it all down, just get the poison out. You do not have to hold it in. You don’t have to act like nothing phases you. Release the things that hold you back.
December 28, 2022
