I’m sure a lot of us have a similar reaction to seeing old photos of ourselves. Something along the lines of, “Oh man, I was so awkward” or “Glad I don’t look like that anymore”.
Whatever your reaction may be to seeing yourself captured in time, I think it’s a good idea to look at those photos every once in a while.
Recently I’ve been feeling slightly bummed and insecure. Most of it is because of my tendencies towards overthinking, but regardless, I’ve been struggling.
I’ve been feeling as though I’m not doing enough in my life and I’ve been comparing my current situation to others who are in a similar stage of their life.
I see friends, siblings, cousins, and other students who have things I desire. Whether that be a job that pays well, an apartment of their own, or a relationship.
They’re all the things I feel like I should have at this point, since I’ve graduated college and am moving on to the real world.
It’s difficult to see others being hired for the job they want while I continue to be rejected by all the ones I apply to.
I see family and friends moving out and buying their own apartments and homes with friends, while I still live with my parents.
The hardest thing for me is relationships.
Cousins getting engaged, siblings going on dates and starting relationships, friends staying the night at their girlfriend’s house. This is all I see when I’m home alone with nothing but my thoughts.
It is confirmation bias of course. My brain chooses to see all the examples of what it wants, but it disregards all those examples of people in the same boat as me.
Obviously I’m not the only person who is struggling to find a job out of college.
I’m not the only 22 year old who lives with his parents.
And I’m not the only single guy out there.
Does that make it any easier?
Not even close.
What are we supposed to do when we start comparing ourselves to others and when we start to feel down about where we are in our lives?
I’m sure we all realize that comparing ourselves to others isn’t beneficial and instead we should be happy with where we are and be grateful for what’s to come.
But that’s easier said than done.
The Photo Album Experience
I hadn’t looked at my family’s old photo albums for years.
I asked my mom if there were any photos of us from years ago when we first started going on our annual trip to the Adirondacks. It felt like all the pictures I’ve seen are from the last couple years.
She pulled out an album from 2006.
As soon as she turned to the first page, a wave of realization washed over my body.
13 years have passed since these photos were taken.
13 years of my life.
I was a 9 year old in fourth grade.
I’m now a 22 year old who graduated from college.
Maybe this doesn’t seem like a big deal and I’m just rambling, but I want you to think about this.
Do you remember what you were doing in fourth grade? Who were your friends? What were your hobbies? What were your biggest problems and concerns?
What I’m trying to say is, we all need to realize how far we’ve come and how far we’ll go from this point on.
The problems you had back then likely don’t even cross your mind anymore.
I can’t even think of what I was worried about then. Maybe I was worried I wouldn’t be in the same class as my friends next year or maybe I had some test coming up that I hadn’t studied for.
Whatever it was, I made it through all of it. Maybe some things didn’t turn out how I wanted them to, but I’m still here and living a wonderful life.
The problems we face today may seem like they’re on a larger scale than the ones we had as kids, but the key is to know that we’re going to make it through them.
Everything can change in a very short amount of time. Some things take a little longer to work themselves out.
But they do.
In another 10 years you’ll look back and wonder why you ever wasted your energy on worrying.
You will graduate.
You will get a job.
You will have friends and family by your side.
You will find the person you’re meant to be with.
You will.
If you don’t believe that, I will believe it for you.
I have no doubt in my mind that you will make it through everything you are dealing with now.
You are strong and resilient.
You can’t be dragged down by worrying.
You’ve been through so much already, but you’ve made it to this day and you are the person you are because of all of that.
If you still don’t believe things will get better or that nothing is going to work out for you, I want you to remember this day. Write down all the things weighing you down and plaguing your mind.
Save that list somewhere safe.
Continue being the incredible person you are and follow the path that you build for yourself.
Years from now you will pull out your list and laugh and I will personally be there to give you a hug and tell you “you made it”.
Stay strong.
Worry less.
Have faith.
Love yourself fully.
