Imagine being in full control of your emotions, desires, impulses, and hesitations. What if you never lost your temper, reached for a sweet treat, broke no contact, or procrastinated again? The Stoic ideas on acts of passion may be the starting point for achieving a life of calm, intentional action. By discovering what they are, how they’re expressed, and how to control them, you give the rational part of your mind the opportunity to make decisions.
In this week’s blog I’m going to dive into my current understanding of these acts of passion. I’ll share how pleasure, distress, desire, and fear show up in my daily life and how I’ve been learning to recognize them as well as limit their expression. Within the past week of learning about these, I’ve noticed a significant shift in my ability to go with the flow, control my mood, and see things as they are instead of placing an opinion on them. If you’re looking to do the same, hopefully this blog starts the journey for you.
As always, I don’t have all the answers, but I hope my expedition to try finding them in my life inspires you to start the search in your own.
The 4 Passions
Stoicism has a term, Pathos, to describe the negative emotions that arise from false judgements and impressions. When we assign meaning to the things going on around us, we make impulse decisions before consulting our rational mind. Stoics believe the differentiator between animals and humans is rational thought, thus to act on impulse alone is to be no better than an animal.
Pathos is split into four categories – Pleasure, Distress, Desire, and Fear. Each presents itself in various ways depending on the situation, your opinion of it, and how you want it to play out. Here is how each looks in my life (I encourage you to consider how they appear in yours).
Pleasure: the sweet treat response, staying bundled up in bed, checking my phone, scrolling on socials, posting and checking for likes… Acts of pleasure are those urges for a quick hit of dopamine. When I’m bored and want stimulation, when I see candy, when I’m tired but need to exercise, these are the times acts of pleasure arise. There’s that voice in my head or that habitual response to do something because it’ll feel good right now.
Distress: Frustration, annoyance, anger. Distress is the idea that my current situation is bad and I don’t like it, so I need to act out. There’s an urge to scoff, roll my eyes, throw/slam things, rush my work, ignore people, and argue. Impulses stemming from distress are this need to let the world know I’m pissed off and everyone should leave me alone.
Desire: There’s something I don’t have right now, but I really want it and can’t stop thinking about it. It can also be something I do have now and want to keep – like being on vacation and wishing I could just stay floating on the kayak for the rest of my life. Feeling desire can cause me to make choices in an attempt to acquire that thing I don’t have or postpone the end of the thing I currently have. It can also be ruminating on experiences I’ve lost e.g. past relationships, vacations, hangouts – or daydreaming about future desires instead of focusing on the present moment.
Fear: What if? Everything could go wrong and probably will, so I should spend my whole day coming up with a plan to prevent that stuff from happening. Fear is anxiety and overthinking. It’s formulating stories in my head and potential scenarios because I don’t know what to expect and I want to be ready. It’s feeling hesitation before I do something because it could go horribly wrong. “Don’t talk to that person, you’ll make a fool of yourself” is a common example for me.
Removing False Impressions
Each of the categories above is a different form of placing a false impression upon an object or scenario. Pleasure believes the thing in front of you is good and you should act on it. Distress presumes your current state is bad and needs to be fixed or escaped from. Desire is a craving for things you deem good, a need for future pleasure. Fear is believing the future holds something bad and that needs to be prevented. None of these is true. They are all a habitual, “animalistic” response and not rational. With self-awareness and intention, they can be improved upon.
My method for working on these false impressions and limiting their outward expression has been challenging, but intensely rewarding. To describe it in one word, I’d say it’s Control. I’ve realized within the past week that I am in control, not these impulses. Putting a name to each act of passion has given me the power to call them out on their bullshit and make the choice to act more according to my nature instead of my urges. I’ve begun to understand how irrational these thoughts and actions are and how detrimental they can be to my character, reputation, and peace of mind.
This is not a one-size-fits-all method. Each day brings new challenges, obstacles, emotions, and urges. Each response is unique and aligned with who I am in that moment. The basic formula I’ve been using is: Something happens, passion assigns meaning, label the passion, recognize how it wants to be outwardly expressed, understand its irrational nature, remind myself I’m in control, take back control.
As an example or each:
Pleasure – There’s a Lindor Truffle in front of me, “Oh man I wanna eat that”. “Oop, that sounds like an act of pleasure. My urges want me to eat that.”, then I realize short term pleasure is detrimental to long-term goals of healthy eating, blood sugar regulation, and impulse control, so I walk away.
Distress – A line starts forming at work, I think “God dammit, I hate this”. I start rushing, throwing milk in the fridge, mind racing, focused more on just taking the order than being friendly. The distress is written all over my body. I catch myself and try to recognize all the ways the anger or frustration is being expressed and I try to reset them. I realize I’ve been through this scenario hundreds of times, why is this one any different? If I have to go through it, why can’t I be happy while I do it? So I slow down and focus on the customer and making a good drink.
Desire – This has been arising a lot on my best days, the days I feel most aligned with Nature. These days feel really freaking good and I get this desire to live every day like this. “Why can’t it always feel like this?” I cling to the feeling, but then I realize if I waste my time wishing the future will be a certain way, I distract myself from enjoying the feeling I’m experiencing in the present. I may not be able to control what tomorrow brings, but I can cherish the present with joy. I can hope for the ability to create more days like this, but I have to remind myself there’s a lot of factors out of my control.
Fear – Today I wanted to try recording a video outside. As I sat at the picnic table, the fear consumed my thoughts. “What if someone laughs at me?” and similar thoughts race through my mind. I sat there, mic ready, camera rolling, not saying anything because I was terrified. Then I realized if I wanted this to be easy in the future, I have to train the muscle now. I considered how little I notice or care about what passersby are doing and that it’s likely the same for them noticing me. No one gives a shit about the guy talking to his phone. If they do, that’s a reflection of them and nothing to do with me. So I recorded the video.
I wish there was a concrete way to teach you these concepts. Unfortunately, Stoicism and self-improvement are selfish endeavors and unique to everyone. The way my urges present themselves, how my emotions feel, what my thoughts sound like, and my methods for regaining control will be different than yours. If my process doesn’t vibe with you or make sense, but you are trying to live a more calm, intentional life, I encourage you to work on recognizing your own urges and habitual responses. When you shed light on them, it makes it easier to find your methods for managing them.
A Disciplined Mind
Discovering the Stoic concept of Pathos has made a major impact on how I respond to my emotions. Being able to label each emotional impulse and understand its irrational nature has given me clarity. Now I’m able to observe the false impressions I’ve been placing on externals and come closer to being calm in the face of anything Nature throws at me.
This process of feeling, labeling, understanding, and taking back control has been the most challenging act of discipline thus far. It’s more difficult than going to the gym when I’m tired or overcoming an excuse to not meal prep. It’s more difficult because it requires a constant state of observation. This process builds a disciplined mind that is always in control and acts according to Nature as close to all the time as possible.
There are times when I’m in a good mood and I let my thoughts go unchecked, but the way I see it, if I let some thoughts through, they’ll all get through. If I lose control of my thoughts and impulses when I feel good and assume I’m making rational choices, it’ll be much harder to keep control when I feel bad. In order to be virtuous, it takes a constant observation of my thoughts before making any decision. I need to use the rational part of brain in every moment, whether I feel good, bad, or indifferent.
I think the goal is to be the same person 100% of the time. Whether someone is watching or I’m alone, my thoughts are the same, my actions make sense, I am me. Building a disciplined mind seems to be the path to this. No decision is made out of impulse. They are all fed through rationality and I act according to my nature. I know I will make mistakes, but I also know I have the capacity to look back on those moments and learn from them.
Control of the mind and preventing impulse is always necessary. Not only when it’s easy.
Final Thoughts
There is no way to stop the constant flow of thoughts and feelings within the body. Everyday will bring new interactions, obstacles, and personal opinions on all of them. If you can’t change what Nature places in front of you, maybe it’s time to change your impressions of them.
Humans were created different from animals by being blessed with rational faculties. This ability allows us to think before we act, to see things for what they are, and keep the future in mind instead of just the present. Rational thought is a natural ability, but it needs to be trained like any other muscle.
In order to reduce your urges, impulse decisions, and negative impressions, you first need to understand them. Shine a light on the emotions you feel throughout the day and notice the action they want you to commit. Realize the irrational nature of these feelings and impulses – think of the long-term impact of laziness, binge eating, crippling fear, distracting desire, etc.
You have the ability to hold no opinion. You have the strength to choose a different path – not that of impulse, but one aligned with Nature. You just have to be willing to observe and have the intention to stay in control of your own mind.
March 8, 2026
