If someone tests your patience and temper, create a fairytale to develop sympathy.
This is a similar technique to what I talked about in my blog Empathy In Response To Hate but I’ve been considering it more recently in relation to work and customer service.
How do you typically feel and respond when someone is rude to you, lacks common courtesy, or acts selfishly at your expense? I’d guess a lot of us don’t act productively or empathetically – I know I don’t.
The newest thing I’m trying is creating a story in my mind that explains a person’s actions in a way that makes me feel bad for them. I make it difficult for myself to be upset because I’m too busy hoping the other person’s day gets better.
When the customer treats me with condescension, yells at me, tries to make me feel incompetent, I attempt to write my tale. “This person must’ve just come from the doctor. I bet they were diagnosed with cancer, maybe only given a few months to live. I’m sure all they want is to enjoy their day without any more inconveniences but nothing seems to be working. Imagine how terrible they must feel. How are they gonna break the news to their family? How can they possibly make the most out of their remaining days? Damn… I feel horrible for this person. The least I can do is be nice and help them out.”
I’m calling this the Fairytale Technique because the more exaggerated the better. Formulate any story necessary to drop your initial feelings of discontent and instead feel sympathy/empathy/gratitude. The more quickly you can brush aside the negative emotions, the better.
Extended periods of time spent wading through negative emotions and thinking of these unwanted interactions lead to too much stress and can affect your life unnecessarily. If you’re continuously fuming because a person was rude to you, you’ll be rude to others, you’ll make mistakes, you’ll make choices you’ll regret, and you’ll feel horrible overall.
Stop letting people get the best of you. They don’t get to determine how you feel. So when someone is rude, make up a story that causes you to understand the person, help them however you can, and move on immediately. You have more important things to think about.
July 18, 2022
