Have you ever noticed how fast time flies with certain things? Every so often, you’re reminded of something and you realize how much time has passed, seemingly in the blink of an eye. At the same time, there are times that make every day feel eternal. There are moments in every life that make you feel like nothing will every change or be normal again. These are the most important times and should be used to your advantage.
This blog was inspired by a trip to Wendy’s. I was greeted by an old classmate from high school and as we chatted, I recalled the last time I saw him at that same Wendy’s. It had been almost exactly a year since I stepped foot in that spot, but that year span seemed so insignificant. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t been to a Wendy’s in such a long time. Then as I got into my car, I noticed an empty kombucha bottle in my door. I recalled putting it there and realized how lazy I’ve been because that has been sitting there for at least a year and a half.
I was curious about why these small moments go unnoticed for so long and when you do realize how long it’s been, it seems like the time flew by. How is it that I’ve put off recycling a bottle every day for months, haven’t been to my favorite fast food place in a year, haven’t talked to someone in multiple years? Why is it that some things have no grasp on time, but others grip it and force you to acknowledge its presence?
The past month has moved painfully slow for me. Most of the days drag on as I struggle to not ruminate on the past or predict the future. The hours between leaving work and going to bed are daunting. There’s just too much time to spend in my own head or using distractions to prevent a spiral. Motivation has been rare. Painting doesn’t interest me, reading is boring, I don’t want new hobbies, and I don’t always want to talk to friends. Every day plays out roughly the same way, just with varying degrees of anxiety. But even the days where I feel more like myself creep by slowly.
So what’s the difference? Why are these days such a burden, but with other things, the time passes so easily? I think it’s a matter of significance in the grand scheme of your life. Some things don’t require your undivided focus while others require you to dive deep and change. Throwing away a bottle that you’ve left in your car takes 30 seconds to correct, then it’s a simple decision to change your habit and take care of trash right away in the future. With bigger things that leave you with a lot of questions, grief, and anxiety, it’s not so simple.
When life tests you and introduces you to new emotions, there’s no immediate resolution. You can say you’ve learned your lesson and you’ll be better in the future, but the pain won’t dissipate until your entire being believes it and you truly detach from the situation. If you’re still experiencing all the negative emotions and still asking all the same questions, there’s more work to be done. You can’t simply fake it and move on. The emotions and thoughts need to be observed, acknowledged, and altered. Your thought patterns need to be rewritten and that takes time.
So when your days drag on, there’s likely something inside you that needs attention. You can’t simply ignore it or lie to yourself and say you’ve moved on and improved. Your brain won’t believe it until your body does. You need to reach a point when you can see something for what it was, accept it, appreciate it, understand why it happened, know what it taught you, and know what you’ll do in the future. But if you do this and continue to find yourself ruminating and experiencing negative emotions, your work isn’t done.
If a bad day happens, don’t dread it and spend all day wishing it was over, hoping tomorrow will be better. Show yourself compassion and realize it’s ok to feel this way. Continue to acknowledge your fears and anxieties, understand the root cause of them, and try your best to discover how you can work through them. There are some core beliefs that are being tested and your job is to find them and alter the cycle of negative self talk.
Healing takes time. There’s no telling how long, but you can be certain that intentional focus on bettering yourself will speed up the process.
January 25, 2025
