Alright, the title sounds bad, but allow me to explain. I want you to give up your attempts at trying so freaking hard because it’s doing nothing but stressing you out. I’m not telling you to be a bum and never do anything ever again, but give up the habit of forcing your will on the world.
My friend told me a story of his coworker. This guy said that in 2025, he’s decided to give up. No goals, no hopes, no expectations. By giving up, the “bad” holds no weight and the “good” doesn’t either. Things will happen no matter what and he’ll manage them as they come.
I like the sentiment, but I can’t fully grasp the no goals part. Goals are worthwhile in my eyes and I enjoy having something to work towards. The rest sounds good though. The other night, I had this realization myself and that’s what inspired this blog.
I was lying in bed, ruminating yet again, trying to think of some way to fix my current situation. What can I do, what can I say, how can I fix this? As I tried to come up with some resolution, i realized that I don’t have to do anything. There’s nothing I can do to alter the past, I have no clue what the future holds, and there’s only so much in my control. Those things within my control are what I need to focus on.
I know, you’d think a Stoic in training would have realized this sooner, but some of these things take time to sink in.
So after that night, I decided to give up. I’m done trying to force my effort on the situation. I’m done trying to come up with a solution. I’ve given up thinking there’s something I need to do to fix everything and make it right. There’s nothing else for me to do. I’ve done everything I could, I know what I want, and now all I can do is let Nature run it’s course. In the meantime, those things within my control are becoming the main focus.
It’s a freeing experience to pull back on your efforts, at least it has been for me. When I realized I no longer have to do anything except exist in the moment, focus on my own habits, be myself, and let my own goals drive my actions, I felt a lot of my stress and anxiety leave me. I have no control over how someone else will respond to me, how the world will unfold before me, I can’t force people to work in favor of my goals, I can only do what I can and respond to what happens next.
There comes a time when you have to realize there’s nothing else you can do and when that moment comes, give up. You cannot force Nature to act how you want it to. Trying to fix situations, influence others, control the environment, and make your goals happen on your time does nothing but encourage more stress and anxiety in your life. Realize when your efforts aren’t amounting to results and take a step back. Consider how much time you’re spending trying to control something that you have no control over.
It may be difficult at first to admit that there’s nothing you can do, but you’ll soon find your life is much easier when you just give up.
January 27, 2025
