There’s a simple flip in your inner dialogue that can lead to self love and forgiveness. Compassionate Inquiry can remove you from the negative feedback loop and put you on a path towards healing.
Compassionate Inquiry is an idea created by Dr. Gabor Maté – I came across it on, you guessed it, the Tim Ferriss Show.
Say you have a stressful week and on the weekend you gorge yourself with junk food. Sunday rolls around and you feel awful and you question your choices. Compassionate Inquiry is the difference between saying “Why the f*** did I do that?!” and “Hmm, why did I do that?”
Do you see the difference? The first implies you did something wrong and you feel the need to punish yourself – thus leading to more negative self-talk and emotions. The second is curiosity based and seeks to discover deeper reasoning behind your actions.
Why do you choose to eat poorly when you’re stressed? Are there instances from your past that spurred these choices? Why does food comfort you instead of something else? Why are you experiencing this stress, this pain in the first place? Most importantly, what can you do differently?
Compassionate Inquiry is a means of forgiving yourself for your mistakes. It’s a way to understand the choices you make come from years of experiencing stress and pain and looking for ways to cope. It allows you to not focus on the choice itself but the circumstances leading to the choice.
We all make mistakes and poor choices. We’ve all experienced pain throughout our lives and have found ways of dealing with it. We can’t do anything to change the past, but we have the ability to forgive ourselves and be better.
Show yourself some kindness. Be curious about why you make certain choices. Work towards resolving the conflicts of your past and making healthier choices in the present.
October 19, 2022
